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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don't want to be tracked by my husband's ex-wife

134 replies

gotellitonthemountain · 05/04/2024 18:51

My stepdaughter has just got her first phone. Her mum has put a tracking app on it, which my husband also has access to.

I just don't feel comfortable thinking of SDD's mum following our every move on the days she is with us.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Moonshine5 · 05/04/2024 19:05

Do you get a say?

Pantaloons99 · 05/04/2024 19:06

ArcticOwl · 05/04/2024 19:02

you're being weird, you wont even have crossed her mind. stop being ridiculous.

No, it's not weird at all. I totally get why she's uncomfortable! I'm the birth parent in this situation and I think it's messed up. Technology, control gone too far. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who hates all this nonsense.

Sirzy · 05/04/2024 19:06

Your not being tracked.

the phone has an app on which allows the user to be tracked if needed. Very sensible for children old enough to have a phone!

PuttingDownRoots · 05/04/2024 19:08

My personal feeling is the tracking apps are creepy. However, its a parenting decision between her mother and father.
Her father can ask her to leave the phone at home, or turn data off, when she's with you.

HerRoyalNotness · 05/04/2024 19:09

Unless the mum starts saying things like, I see you stayed home all weekend, or how on earth did you spend 8hrs at the mall on Saturday, I would put it out of my mind.

Hoplolly · 05/04/2024 19:10

PuttingDownRoots · 05/04/2024 19:08

My personal feeling is the tracking apps are creepy. However, its a parenting decision between her mother and father.
Her father can ask her to leave the phone at home, or turn data off, when she's with you.

This is a good idea.

We have a similar situation but I think if the ex has nothing better to do that look at what we're up to all the time, then that's a very sad existence!

haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain · 05/04/2024 19:10

Yeah I didn't like it. I just don't take my DSC out shopping or when I go anywhere fancy now. It only causes problems when it gets back to her as she's always asking for me to pay for things

haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain · 05/04/2024 19:11

I think you can turn the tracking off at your end

KreedKafer · 05/04/2024 19:11

As if your husband’s ex gives a shit where you are, ffs. She hasn’t put a tracking app on her kid’s phone to track you, and neither has she put a tracking app on her kid’s phone to track her kid when her kid is with you and your husband. She’s put it on there so that her child can be located if she’s not with you and her husband and also so that the phone can be found if she bloody loses it. Stop being so paranoid.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 05/04/2024 19:11

I mean, I actually got stalked by my husbands ex so maybe I’m not the best example but I wouldn’t like it
there isn’t anything you can do, though once they get snap chat etc all their friends are following them all over the place and it is what it is!

TheSnowyOwl · 05/04/2024 19:14

If she is young enough to need a tracker on her phone then she is likely to have very limited and strict use to it, so it won’t be with her most of the time.

I very much doubt her mother has any interest in where you are, just like her father doesn’t check in to see where her mother is. It’s just about having peace of mind over the safety of the child.

mondaytosunday · 05/04/2024 19:16

She's tracking her not you. Anyway what do you care? I'm sure her mum can just ask her 'what did you do at dad's'?

IncompleteSenten · 05/04/2024 19:17

She can always leave her phone in the house when she's out with you. She doesn't need that extra safety layer if she's out with you and her dad.

saveforthat · 05/04/2024 19:17

cryinglaughing · 05/04/2024 18:58

Tell her to leave it at home when you go out 🤷🏻‍♀️

This

OhmygodDont · 05/04/2024 19:21

It’s a genral safety thing on her phone. Unless you regularly take her phone without her she’s not tracking you. You tracking the phone. Honestly nobody is sitting there tracking a phone 24/7 it will be for if it gets lost or when the daughters out alone if she just pick up or sends an sos message.

cadburyegg · 05/04/2024 19:21

YABU

OhmygodDont · 05/04/2024 19:22

Hell my children’s phones can track my phone. It’s a mutual sharing thing. Means they could find me if I’m lost too 😂 or if they lose me somewhere I guess.

haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain · 05/04/2024 19:22

cryinglaughing · 05/04/2024 18:58

Tell her to leave it at home when you go out 🤷🏻‍♀️

Or leave her at home when you go out

RecycleMePlease · 05/04/2024 19:27

I track my kids - I only actually look when I'm expecting them home, but I do it because DS2 wanted the re-assurance that I would always be able to come and get him.

If you're worried, you could always ask her to leave it at home?

unicornsarereal72 · 05/04/2024 19:47

The only time I have checked my kids phones when they have been with their dad was when they misplaced their phones there. I don't much care what they are up to in their time there.

xyz111 · 05/04/2024 20:01

Even if she was interested about where you are going, so what??

Worried8263839 · 05/04/2024 20:14

These answers would have been totally different if you were the mum and didn't like the dad/step mum tracking the DDs phone. Step mums can never complain or have concerns about anything...

Sirzy · 05/04/2024 20:16

Worried8263839 · 05/04/2024 20:14

These answers would have been totally different if you were the mum and didn't like the dad/step mum tracking the DDs phone. Step mums can never complain or have concerns about anything...

My response would be the same, and in this case both parents have access anyway

RainbowZebraWarrior · 05/04/2024 20:20

Imfreetofeelgood · 05/04/2024 18:53

It's not about you.

This.

I can't even believe this is real.

OP, you are being massively unreasonable. A lot of parents have tracking apps on their kids phones. For safety. Thankfully, my DD doesn't have a step parent. I'd be bloody furious if she did and they made it about them, though.

user1567879667589 · 05/04/2024 20:25

BelindaOkra · 05/04/2024 19:03

Yes this. How old is she? 11 year old fair enough, by mid to late teens - eek

Show quote history

Not necessarily - our older teenagers play lots of sports, meet friends in town or other places requiring lifts…its really handy to be able to see where exactly they want picking up from as teenage directions leave a lot to be desired sometimes! They also like it as they can see where I am so don’t have to stand outside in the rain waiting.

It’s also come in handy when I got a bike puncture in a remote place - DH could see where I was easily.