Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

[OneBrightCrow]

My husband and I were at the wedding of one of his uni friends on Wednesday. It was a great day however I came over unwell during the speeches, probably due to not having enough to eat before a couple of Proseccos. I was not drunk at all, but came over pale, felt clammy and like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want to cause a fuss by getting up and leaving, but felt so awful that I put my head down on the table. I understand that this could have looked rude but I’m pretty sure the other tables did not notice, and everyone on our table could see that something wasn’t right.

Despite asking my husband to just leave me be for a few minutes, he persisted in trying to get me to leave the room, but his persistence was really not helping, and I tried explaining that if I stood up I was afraid I would collapse or be sick, and I absolutely did not want that to happen.

He wouldn’t let it go so eventually I managed to stand up and sat outside for a bit until I felt better; but I wasn’t quite right for the rest of the day. I chose not to drink any more, but even after multiple glasses of water I was struggling with the noisy room and drunk people getting a bit close for comfort. We found a quiet room with a sofa where I sat for a while, and he asked if I wanted to leave. I said no but we argued when I tried encouraging him to rejoin the party so that he could see his uni friends that he rarely gets to see, including his best friend who had come just for the evening reception; but he kept saying we should be there as a couple.

He got a bit arsey, questioning how I was feeling and saying that he has never known me to “do this” as though I was choosing to behave this way. I said I felt very pressured by him, and was hurt that he had been more concerned about how I was appearing to other people than whether I was OK!

He eventually stormed off and returned about half an hour where we argued again, so I just grit my teeth and rejoined the party even though I still felt unwell.

It’s left me feeling quite hurt about it, and even when I tried talking to him about it (thinking that now he’s sober he would be a bit apologetic) he maintains that putting my head on the table was rude and we would have to agree to disagree.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt??

I've fainted 3 times in my life.

Did you read that the OP didn't actually faint, so her limbs would've been just grand.

Except she has said she wasn't drunk.

Do you generally disbelieve women?

Exactly this.

Sorry OP, to most people in the room it probably looked like you were pissed after a couple of proseccos when you put your head on the table and that would have been embarrassing.
I can see why your husband would have been annoyed about that, especially if it's not something you've ever done before and if he was really looking forward to the wedding.
It's unfortunate timing really.

Sorry you are having a bad time of it.
Don't drink on an empty stomach again, particularly not wine.

It sounds like your sugar levels. I get like this if I don't eat little and often ( also pregnant so it gets worse). When my levels drop I cannot stand, i go pale, clammy and feel sick. You may want to keep some glucose tablets in your bag incase this happens again. And definitely get it checked with the gp. When you drink alcohol your body stops releasing glucose because your liver is processing the alcohol. It can cause a sudden sugar drop. I suspect that is what's happened here. Pair that with not eating enough and I imagine the drop was quite bad. May be worth getting a machine to keep an eye on your levels throughout the day.

I'd be pretty pissed with my partner if he made himself feel unwell with alcohol consumption and then slumped with his head down on the table during an important part of my friends wedding party.

I'd be embarrassed and annoyed with you too.

Walking out the room and potentially fainting would have been the preferable option, as nobody faints on purpose. But putting your head on the table draws attention and is rude.

Not generally no.

Just people who mention alcohol, mention not eating much, then mention drinking two glasses of alcohol before laying their head on a table in a room full of wedding guests.

I kind of think you know....why mention the alcohol at all then?

But you crack on and believe who and what you like.

I can't use my arms to support my head. Fullstop. So there is that too.

She said she was capable of going out the room when she first felt unwell, but she didn't want to miss the speeches.. she chose to stay and get worse, then chose to dramatically refuse any offers of help and make a scene in front of his friends.

I'd not going to lie, I'd have been embarrassed by you OP, it was purely self inflicted because of drinking on an empty stomach, not some mystery illness which would have been different.

You should also either have both left after you didn't feel any better, like he offered, or you should have let him take you home so he could go back. He obviously felt like he couldn't leave you just sitting on your own in a side room while he went off to enjoy the party, but you clearly didn't want to be at the party, so you put him in an awkward position in fairness.

There's no doubt that you ruined it for him, obviously not intentionally but there were a few options which could have saved it after that point, but you decided to be a bit of a martyr instead so I'm not surprised he's annoyed about it all.

Wedding size glasses of prosecco would be barely more than 2 bloody big gulps fgs.

Just wow.

Have you heard yourself?

You admitted you had drank on an empty stomach so clearly you were drunk. Putting your head on the table would have been really inappropriate and embarrassing so I can see his point!

But for OP being pale and clammy is not the result of being drunk, so it's something else.

And if you don't believe the OP why even bother engaging with her? Maybe crack on and find a new thread that you do believe.

Gosh if you believe every single word you read on the internet without ever reading between the lines, or stretching your thoughts even slightly, I'd worry if I were you.

Why didn’t you put your head on his shoulder? You must have looked like a drunk with your head on the table.

This exactly. I’ve got low blood pressure and heat, too much to eat at once, crowds with a lack of air can make me feel faint or actually faint.

A discreet head hold like that described would not draw anything like as much attention as actually lying your head flat on the table. That looks like someone who has had one or two too many.

I can understand him feeling a bit uncomfortable but what else could you have done in that moment? Like you said, you couldn’t move. And yeah, it’s not great the 2 proseccos on an empty stomach thing but I’m going to assume it’s not something that regularly happens and it’s not like you did it on purpose to cause a scene.

What is shit is his continued attitude throughout the day. There was no need for that at all, especially as it went on for longer than you probably anticipated.

But even if was a blood sugar level drop it was still because she drank and hadn't eaten anything.. so the end result is still caused by OP drinking on an empty stomach, why not have breakfast, or have a snack, or not drink until dinner, they have non alcoholic choices like orange juice, you don't have to drink.

While unfortunate and obviously not done on purpose, as an adult you are 100% responsible for the choices you make, she can't expect her DH to be okay with all the kerfuffle caused when it was entirely self inflicted.

If I don't believe it I just wouldn't bother engaging with it.

I'm not going to worry about believing a woman who says she wasn't drunk, but thanks for the concern.

We don't know why OP got ill. OP is old enough to know if she was drunk and she says she wasn't.

And why assume orange juice was available? In a wedding you're often a captive audience, you eat and drink whatever they set in front of you.

Sounds like some sort of food poisoning to me.

@TheresaCrowd

Putting your head down on a table at a wedding is juvenile.
Juvenile? It's not juvenile it's a medical thing.
I guess what would have been better was to push her chair away from the table and put her head between her knees but you'd probably have a problem with that too.
Juvenile is such a weird interpretation of someone trying to lower their head to not pass out or vomit

@TheresaCrowd
I kind of think you know....why mention the alcohol at all then?
Because it's the alcohol that sometimes causes the sudden drop in blood pressure.
Are you seriously inf us you've never heard of this

It can happen as a one off or it might be something that now happens to the op regularly so she'll have to take care of
But it's not her fault.

No it's not drunk. It's a reaction to the alcohol but not drunkenness. It can happen after half a glass. It can be a one off or it can be something that now keeps on happening.
It typically happens when someone has low ish blood pressure as typical or when pregnant but it can happen to anyone.

I can't believe so many adults are so ignorant.

Inside can't believe how many adults are so pleased to exhibit their ignorance on a public forum.

@sandyhappypeople

Oh the ignorance.

It can happen after half a glass. It is not her fault.

I started having this in my early 20s after not having it ever. I dint drink now