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Original poster

Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

586 replies

OneBrightCrow · 05/04/2024 11:18

My husband and I were at the wedding of one of his uni friends on Wednesday. It was a great day however I came over unwell during the speeches, probably due to not having enough to eat before a couple of Proseccos. I was not drunk at all, but came over pale, felt clammy and like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want to cause a fuss by getting up and leaving, but felt so awful that I put my head down on the table. I understand that this could have looked rude but I’m pretty sure the other tables did not notice, and everyone on our table could see that something wasn’t right.

Despite asking my husband to just leave me be for a few minutes, he persisted in trying to get me to leave the room, but his persistence was really not helping, and I tried explaining that if I stood up I was afraid I would collapse or be sick, and I absolutely did not want that to happen.

He wouldn’t let it go so eventually I managed to stand up and sat outside for a bit until I felt better; but I wasn’t quite right for the rest of the day. I chose not to drink any more, but even after multiple glasses of water I was struggling with the noisy room and drunk people getting a bit close for comfort. We found a quiet room with a sofa where I sat for a while, and he asked if I wanted to leave. I said no but we argued when I tried encouraging him to rejoin the party so that he could see his uni friends that he rarely gets to see, including his best friend who had come just for the evening reception; but he kept saying we should be there as a couple.

He got a bit arsey, questioning how I was feeling and saying that he has never known me to “do this” as though I was choosing to behave this way. I said I felt very pressured by him, and was hurt that he had been more concerned about how I was appearing to other people than whether I was OK!

He eventually stormed off and returned about half an hour where we argued again, so I just grit my teeth and rejoined the party even though I still felt unwell.

It’s left me feeling quite hurt about it, and even when I tried talking to him about it (thinking that now he’s sober he would be a bit apologetic) he maintains that putting my head on the table was rude and we would have to agree to disagree.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt??

OP posts:
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fliptopbin · 05/04/2024 11:36

If someone is feeling faint, the correct thing to do is to put your head down. If OP had tried to leave immediately as people suggest here, there is a good chance that she would have passed out on her way out of the room, which would have been way more dramatic than putting her head down.

pootlin · 05/04/2024 11:36

Singleandproud · 05/04/2024 11:22

Putting your head on the table was odd compared to stealthily excusing yourselves and going to the bathroom.

Edited

This is unfair. I'm rarely ill but when I have felt ill the need to get my head down or lie down/sit down is paramount, and the thought of having to walk somewhere else would have felt impossible.

OP, what's he like when you're ill at other times? Does he dismiss how you feel?

Janpoppy · 05/04/2024 11:37

Does you husband have form for being overly dramatic?

You felt ill, didn't want to create a scene, did what you could to calmly handle the situation, and he starts making a drama our of it.

Instead of cracking on at the wedding he then makes a fuss because he can't do it without you holding his hand?! I'd be embarrased by his overreaction.

Toottooot · 05/04/2024 11:37

Citrusandginger · 05/04/2024 11:29

If the situation were reversed; it was your friend's wedding, your DH had drunk too much on an empty stomach and put his head on the table at dinner, would you honestly be OK with it?

Nah, she’d be getting told to LTB as he has a drinking problem nae doot.

cansu · 05/04/2024 11:37

You would have been better to just say to him that you felt unwell and needed some air he could then have helped you get our of the room. Putting your head on the table and then asking to be left alone us a but embarrassing and dramatic

tiggersfamily · 05/04/2024 11:37

People's attention wouldve been diverted from the speeches to the woman collapsed on the table. He was probably embarrassed and thought it rude of you not to get up if you physically could. The speeches are important to a lot of the people there

pootlin · 05/04/2024 11:37

fliptopbin · 05/04/2024 11:36

If someone is feeling faint, the correct thing to do is to put your head down. If OP had tried to leave immediately as people suggest here, there is a good chance that she would have passed out on her way out of the room, which would have been way more dramatic than putting her head down.

Exactly.

It seems people just expect women to bear illness and pain to the point of putting everyone else's feelings ahead of their own.

TheresaCrowd · 05/04/2024 11:38

fliptopbin · 05/04/2024 11:36

If someone is feeling faint, the correct thing to do is to put your head down. If OP had tried to leave immediately as people suggest here, there is a good chance that she would have passed out on her way out of the room, which would have been way more dramatic than putting her head down.

She was pissed though.

Putting your head down when you've drank too much alcohol really isn't the best thing to do, as when you sit up again it makes you more dizzy.

K0OLA1D · 05/04/2024 11:38

fliptopbin · 05/04/2024 11:36

If someone is feeling faint, the correct thing to do is to put your head down. If OP had tried to leave immediately as people suggest here, there is a good chance that she would have passed out on her way out of the room, which would have been way more dramatic than putting her head down.

Mn is honestly crazy sometimes.

K0OLA1D · 05/04/2024 11:38

TheresaCrowd · 05/04/2024 11:38

She was pissed though.

Putting your head down when you've drank too much alcohol really isn't the best thing to do, as when you sit up again it makes you more dizzy.

Show quote history

She had 2 bloody glasses of prosecco. She wasn't pissed. Jesus christ

KezzaMucklowe · 05/04/2024 11:38

Tbh, I think your post title should be DP embarrassed when I got drunk and was unwell at a wedding.
Because my personal reaction to my DP doing that would be different to if he was genuinely unwell with something wrong with him.
He was obviously annoyed and possibly didn’t react in the kindest way he could.
However, if my DP got drunk / tipsy on an empty stomach early at a wedding, put his head on a table during the speeches then wanted to sit a quiet room for the rest of the evening after saying he was worried about being sick and passing out, I’d be pretty annoyed tbh.
I don’t think this is the end of the world and I think you’re both wishing you had both behaved differently but it’s not something I would hold on to.

pootlin · 05/04/2024 11:39

tiggersfamily · 05/04/2024 11:37

People's attention wouldve been diverted from the speeches to the woman collapsed on the table. He was probably embarrassed and thought it rude of you not to get up if you physically could. The speeches are important to a lot of the people there

OP's wellbeing is more important than some speeches.

She didn't make any noise, the B&G likely didn't notice.

Be thankful you've never felt this ill in place with randoms.

TheresaCrowd · 05/04/2024 11:39

K0OLA1D · 05/04/2024 11:38

She had 2 bloody glasses of prosecco. She wasn't pissed. Jesus christ

Show quote history

On an empty stomach.

She was pissed.

Notonthestairs · 05/04/2024 11:40

Unwell as a result of too many Proseccos midway through a wedding.

Not exactly shocking. Certainly won't be the first or the last.

But how would I react if my husband overdid the pale ale and lay his head down on the table during the speeches?
A wedding of my friends, that I had been looking forward to.

I probably consider him a bit of a twat.

K0OLA1D · 05/04/2024 11:40

TheresaCrowd · 05/04/2024 11:39

On an empty stomach.

She was pissed.

Show quote history

Whatever you say.

I get dizzy, clammy spells on a full stomach with zero alcohol. Still wouldn't stand up for fear of falling.

KezzaMucklowe · 05/04/2024 11:41

Notonthestairs · 05/04/2024 11:40

Unwell as a result of too many Proseccos midway through a wedding.

Not exactly shocking. Certainly won't be the first or the last.

But how would I react if my husband overdid the pale ale and lay his head down on the table during the speeches?
A wedding of my friends, that I had been looking forward to.

I probably consider him a bit of a twat.

Exactly.

MonsteraMama · 05/04/2024 11:42

Glad none of you are my friends, Jesus. Not a single sympathy bone amongst you.

My best pal fainted at my wedding, probably because she'd had too much to drink aye, but as I actually like my friends I was just worried about her and made sure she got some water and a packet of crisps down her. The histrionics on this thread over someone feeling unwell and putting her head on a table, and the irony of calling the OP dramatic is hilarious.

WonderfulUsername · 05/04/2024 11:42

KezzaMucklowe · 05/04/2024 11:38

Tbh, I think your post title should be DP embarrassed when I got drunk and was unwell at a wedding.
Because my personal reaction to my DP doing that would be different to if he was genuinely unwell with something wrong with him.
He was obviously annoyed and possibly didn’t react in the kindest way he could.
However, if my DP got drunk / tipsy on an empty stomach early at a wedding, put his head on a table during the speeches then wanted to sit a quiet room for the rest of the evening after saying he was worried about being sick and passing out, I’d be pretty annoyed tbh.
I don’t think this is the end of the world and I think you’re both wishing you had both behaved differently but it’s not something I would hold on to.

Tbh, I think your post title should be DP embarrassed when I got drunk and was unwell at a wedding.

Absolutely 👏👏👏

Sparklfairy · 05/04/2024 11:43

Prosecco can have strange effects. I don't drink it often, but sometimes I'm absolutely fine on a few and sometimes just one goes straight to my head and makes me feel woozy and sick. I can totally see this happening to me and I would have done exactly what OP did for minimum disruption to the speeches, kicking myself while I did it of course. If I had a DH making me feel even worse and more embarrassed I wouldn't be impressed.

But no one is 'drunk' on 2 proseccos so posters need to stop being so sanctimonious.

Allofaflutter · 05/04/2024 11:45

The fact is you felt unwell and he was a dick. It wasn’t like you were pissed up. 2 glasses of cheap wine are probably tiny ones too as wedding always use smaller glasses than you would pour at home, so it was more likely to be just a feeling faint moment. The fact it lasted so long means the alcohol was long gone after all that time and you still felt the same so it was an illness not being pissed but he was a dick with no excuses.

Saymyname28 · 05/04/2024 11:45

Yeah I'd be humiliated and pretty mad in his position. You didn't "come over ill " you drank too much then acted like a drunk twat during his friends wedding speeches. If roles were reversed you'd be speaking harshly about your pisshead bloke showing you up in front of friends.

KezzaMucklowe · 05/04/2024 11:47

I don’t think anyone is being sanctimonious. I’ve certainly been the person to drink on an empty stomach and feel like the op. It’s horrible and as sympathetic as I would be I would also be annoyed.

tiggersfamily · 05/04/2024 11:47

@pootlin I was giving the perspective of the husband/ everyone else at the wedding. That's not my view. And I have gone into anaphylactic shock a few times in public and had to disrupt things and ask for strangers help. I.e definitely 'felt this ill in place with randoms'

FreeezePeach · 05/04/2024 11:48

Sparklfairy · 05/04/2024 11:43

Prosecco can have strange effects. I don't drink it often, but sometimes I'm absolutely fine on a few and sometimes just one goes straight to my head and makes me feel woozy and sick. I can totally see this happening to me and I would have done exactly what OP did for minimum disruption to the speeches, kicking myself while I did it of course. If I had a DH making me feel even worse and more embarrassed I wouldn't be impressed.

But no one is 'drunk' on 2 proseccos so posters need to stop being so sanctimonious.

But no one is 'drunk' on 2 proseccos so posters need to stop being so sanctimonious.

Utter rubbish.

Plenty of people with low alcohol tolerance would get pissed drinking 2 Proseccos on an empty stomach.

TheresaCrowd · 05/04/2024 11:49

KezzaMucklowe · 05/04/2024 11:47

I don’t think anyone is being sanctimonious. I’ve certainly been the person to drink on an empty stomach and feel like the op. It’s horrible and as sympathetic as I would be I would also be annoyed.

Same

And when it's happened to me I've owned it.