Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

[OneBrightCrow]

My husband and I were at the wedding of one of his uni friends on Wednesday. It was a great day however I came over unwell during the speeches, probably due to not having enough to eat before a couple of Proseccos. I was not drunk at all, but came over pale, felt clammy and like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want to cause a fuss by getting up and leaving, but felt so awful that I put my head down on the table. I understand that this could have looked rude but I’m pretty sure the other tables did not notice, and everyone on our table could see that something wasn’t right.

Despite asking my husband to just leave me be for a few minutes, he persisted in trying to get me to leave the room, but his persistence was really not helping, and I tried explaining that if I stood up I was afraid I would collapse or be sick, and I absolutely did not want that to happen.

He wouldn’t let it go so eventually I managed to stand up and sat outside for a bit until I felt better; but I wasn’t quite right for the rest of the day. I chose not to drink any more, but even after multiple glasses of water I was struggling with the noisy room and drunk people getting a bit close for comfort. We found a quiet room with a sofa where I sat for a while, and he asked if I wanted to leave. I said no but we argued when I tried encouraging him to rejoin the party so that he could see his uni friends that he rarely gets to see, including his best friend who had come just for the evening reception; but he kept saying we should be there as a couple.

He got a bit arsey, questioning how I was feeling and saying that he has never known me to “do this” as though I was choosing to behave this way. I said I felt very pressured by him, and was hurt that he had been more concerned about how I was appearing to other people than whether I was OK!

He eventually stormed off and returned about half an hour where we argued again, so I just grit my teeth and rejoined the party even though I still felt unwell.

It’s left me feeling quite hurt about it, and even when I tried talking to him about it (thinking that now he’s sober he would be a bit apologetic) he maintains that putting my head on the table was rude and we would have to agree to disagree.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt??

Unless you're a drunk or a hypochondriac who repeats this behaviour time and time again.
I have a family member like putting their head on the table would be nothing compared to the number of times they have embarrassed us. Honestly the amount of bizarre incidents they have done when their drunk. But it's never their fault though.

If my partner had put their head on the table during wedding speeches at a wedding that was my friend’s / family’s I would struggle to even look at you again, let alone speak to you again. Leave discreetly, ask me to take you out, anything. Just don’t make show of me like that. Just awful.

To OneBrightCrow pass no heed on the horrible messages here and people really need to relax abit, you put your head on the table, not like you were dancing half naked on the table. Everyone so worried about everyone except how you were feeling ill and should be more concerned about you which your husband was not and only about himself. He is the one making a big deal out of all of this and for his text so out of order. If I were you I would text the friends and say you felt ill and nothing to do with alcohol and don't know what your husband is on about. He sounds like a gas lighting narcissist and you need to let him know how you feel. I could not be with someone who did not care if I was ill but only about themselves. Hope you are ok. The comments here are laughable people saying you were making a show of yourself. She only put her head on the table for a bit calm down. Bet those making those comments are great fun NOT.

Unless you're a drunk or a hypochondriac who repeats this behaviour time and time again.
I have a family member like putting their head on the table would be nothing compared to the number of times they have embarrassed us. Honestly the amount of bizarre incidents they have done when their drunk. But it's never their fault though I definitely put my disclaimer about people like this in my post. Obviously if that applies then it's completely different.

🍋

She wasnt. Her BP tanked. If shed gotten up and tried to leave, there is a very good chance she would have fainted, which would have been a lot more dramatic than putting her head down on the table.

But she did get up and leave, after her husband objected to her sitting with her head on the table.

Only once I was feeling marginally well enough to move.

i wanted to leave as much as he wanted me to, but it felt far too risky to stand. I eventually managed to. Don’t understand why that’s such a sticking point.

Her BP was likely already on the up then.

I assume you have never had a sudden drop on your blood pressure. If you had, you would know that getting up and leaving is not always a choice!

I suffer from recurrent episodes of my BP dropping. And while I dont usually faint, I often vomit. Trying to move makes it worse. However, eventually it passes, and then, while you might still be feeling iffy, you can move. Though for me, thats usually when the vomiting happens, when things starts going back to normal.

Honestly, it sounds like most posters have never had a sudden drop of blood pressure.

And how awful it feels.

I had a c-section 2 weeks ago, and one of the side effects of the epidural was BP drops. Near enough an hour of it! And I was already lying down, not even able to move (because - epidural!!). Wasnt able to hold my baby for that period, as I was soooo out of it.

Im sure most posters would judge me for not being able to hold my baby, because clearly, I should have been able to control myself and not feel "unwell"🙄

😂

Low BP has been an issue for me always. When I do my floor exercises sometimes I have to be very careful how I turn. In the morning lying in bed I get dizzy sometimes and have to lie still until it passes. Horrible feeling.

My GP once took my blood pressure sitting down and then standing. It dropped to 86 40.

Epidural/prosecco

potato/potahto

(and congrats! 👶🏻)

🍋

I haven't read all the replies, but sudden intolerance of alcohol plus nausea and dizziness out of the blue -they were the first signs I had of pregnancy. I know you said your husband hashad the snip, but they have been known to fail.

OMG I can't believe what people get embarrassed about! He should have been concerned not embarrassed, what a twit!

It clearly wasn't prosecco that got to you @OneBrightCrow because it lasted far too long so everyone stop with the too much to drink comments too.

I hope he isn't like this all the time. Putting your head down when you're ill is a normal action. If he'd put his arm around you it would have been obvious you were poorly to anyone who saw you....

You sound swell

Despite the MN narative, the husband is behaving childishly and I suspect those would have been outraged if their own husbands had acted like that. Caring for your wife is still expected and the note to the bride is disgraceful.

Your H was calling attention to it much more than you were with your head on the table.

You were likely dehyrated and your blood pressure or blood sugar dropped.

I've had this before and no you really can't just get up and walk like that or you'll end up passed out on the floor. It's happened to me.

Putting your head on the table made you look very drunk. I can see why he was mortified.

You were between a rock and a hard place. It’s easy with hindsight to say what you and DH should have done. Head on table is rude, better to keep very still. Then escape as soon as possible to the bathroom. DH was rude ordering you around. I would have sat somewhere quiet on the edge of the floor.

I’ve been unwell at a wedding and had to put my head down on the table as the room was spinning & I randomly started shivering. I think when you’re on the outside looking in, with no context it looks rude but when you’re in the situation you can’t help it , you can’t get up , you just want to be okay. my friends came to check on me , didn’t make a scene and when I was okay to start walking again I went to sit in the car .

I doubt very much that the bride, groom and other guests would have even noticed someone sat resting their head on the table during speeches. I'm sure there was much worse behaviour from people that were actually drunk!

Are people really that precious at weddings that they would think someone was rude for being ill and putting their head on the table. Surely the normal thing would be to be concerned about your guest? If I were the bride that would be my first reaction. If I misunderstood and thought they were drunk I would probably find that amusing and as long as they weren't making a spectacle of themselves and ruining the day, it wouldn't be a problem. If I misunderstood and thought they were bored and actually being rude it would be annoying, until the situation was explained to me then it would be fine. People can't help it when they feel ill and any normal person would understand the situation and not give it a second thought.

You shouldn’t drink ever again op

it’s uncouth and not lady like and embarrassing

according to some on here