Husband embarrassed when I felt unwell

[OneBrightCrow]

My husband and I were at the wedding of one of his uni friends on Wednesday. It was a great day however I came over unwell during the speeches, probably due to not having enough to eat before a couple of Proseccos. I was not drunk at all, but came over pale, felt clammy and like I was going to collapse. I didn’t want to cause a fuss by getting up and leaving, but felt so awful that I put my head down on the table. I understand that this could have looked rude but I’m pretty sure the other tables did not notice, and everyone on our table could see that something wasn’t right.

Despite asking my husband to just leave me be for a few minutes, he persisted in trying to get me to leave the room, but his persistence was really not helping, and I tried explaining that if I stood up I was afraid I would collapse or be sick, and I absolutely did not want that to happen.

He wouldn’t let it go so eventually I managed to stand up and sat outside for a bit until I felt better; but I wasn’t quite right for the rest of the day. I chose not to drink any more, but even after multiple glasses of water I was struggling with the noisy room and drunk people getting a bit close for comfort. We found a quiet room with a sofa where I sat for a while, and he asked if I wanted to leave. I said no but we argued when I tried encouraging him to rejoin the party so that he could see his uni friends that he rarely gets to see, including his best friend who had come just for the evening reception; but he kept saying we should be there as a couple.

He got a bit arsey, questioning how I was feeling and saying that he has never known me to “do this” as though I was choosing to behave this way. I said I felt very pressured by him, and was hurt that he had been more concerned about how I was appearing to other people than whether I was OK!

He eventually stormed off and returned about half an hour where we argued again, so I just grit my teeth and rejoined the party even though I still felt unwell.

It’s left me feeling quite hurt about it, and even when I tried talking to him about it (thinking that now he’s sober he would be a bit apologetic) he maintains that putting my head on the table was rude and we would have to agree to disagree.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling hurt??

@jannier
Several people on here experienced the same and ended up no longer drinking as it was too unpredictable and dangerous. It can start after many years of not having a problem.

Histamine can cause blood pressure to drop/fainting and alcohol contains it, can cause body to produce histamine and block the body breaking it down. Women can develop issues with alcohol/histamine once in peri menopause because are hormones are involved in histamine production and breaking it down
So I never had an issue with fainting nor with alcohol bar the occasional face flushing (problem is you don't know how high your levels are at any time, I could have a few drinks and be fine, or be beaming red or have a headache halfway through my first). I had no reason to think I'd be passing out, and even the first time I'd put it down more to being in a v crowded warm pub. The second time we were nearly the only people in the place so it wasn't that

Are you sure you weren’t just trashed blind drunk from 2 proseccos?

@mamajong

Ya both a bit u. You, for drinking on an empty stomach

Which OP said didn't happen. She felt ill after 2 glasses of wine and water with a meal.

Why would 2 proseccos cause someone to be 'trashed blind' drunk?

@Changeusernameseeusernamehistory

lol 2 Proseccos ain’t gonna make anyone trashed
get a grip!

Most people who are embarrassed would take the offer to remove themselves quietly not insist they want to hear the speech then make a drama in another room you would send you oh to beg some food from staff once you've left the room saying my wife is feeling ill....the op also says she had too much prosecco on an empty stomach a few sips isn't going to do it.
The treatment for fainting is head down feet up not just head down as blood still goes to the feet.
If it is something you know you have a problem with you put a small pack of biscuits in your bag. weddings always run late on food and an 11 am wedding is no food before 3

Some posters need an abacus 🙄

My reason for staying at that point was not that I wanted to hear the speeches; it’s that by that point I felt so unwell I couldn’t stand up. It happened very quickly from first onset (and hoping it would pass) to feeling like I was going to pass out.

find it weird how so many people think I stayed out of pure stubbornness 🤣 clearly some of u have never come over unwell VERY suddenly.

I remember president George Bush suddenly becoming very unwell at a banquet and disappearing under the table. Everyone said that it can happen to anyone.

Princess Diana fainted once too. Everyone had sympathy.

Ignore the IQ deprived on social media .

No drama was made at all, except by the husband, furious that his wife was ill.

Again, such comments are displaying the ignorance of someone who has clearly never experienced it. No, because it comes on extremely suddenly. If you can get out in time, you will, but as other posters on the thread (did you read it?) have said, once you feel faint you're either likely to faint if you try to do that or be sick.

Thankfully, most decent people in the real world have empathy for someone feeling ill rather than being silly and judgemental.

I think they (and your husband) are being extremely unfair to you, OP. You did nothing wrong. These things happen.

I'd have been mortified if my husband had puked all over his clothes and shoes as her husband did.

‘In that state’. Get a grip.

So I’ve just seen on our iPad that my husband has texted the bride this morning (Saturday, bearing in mind the wedding was Wednesday) saying “I don’t know if you noticed but we had to leave during the speeches as [alcoholicwife] felt unwell - I think she drank too much Prosecco!”
[he absolutely knows this wasn’t the case but better to paint me as an alcoholic than someone who just felt ill for a number of reasons, right?]

neither the bride or groom seemed to know anything about my brief departure on the day…. And then two more days have passed before he decided to drop that little nugget of info to them. I just don’t know why?!

I'd brain him.

I'd also message them saying that you were well enough to wash the clothes he'd vomited over. 🤬

Jesus, what a dick. Why the hell did he do that?

Yeah, that seems a bit extra. Not sure what the point in that was.

I’m on the fence. You say you were going to collapse so had to put your head on the table , but you also tell us when he insisted you left, you did exactly that. So clearly not about to collapse.

youre also very adamant it wasn’t you drunk too much in an empty stomach, but to be honest, im not convinced. You were clearly capable of getting up and leaving, as you did. Putting your head on the table is incredibly rude.

It sounds like you had a few drinks on an empty stomach, got half cut and placed your head on the table during the speeches. I would find this to be really embarrassing and disrespectful if I'm honest. (I work in hospitality and have been/worked at loads of weddings) You should have just got up and had some water and food. I'd be disappointed if it was my partner acting like that in front of all my friends.

Even if you did feel unwell and it had nothing to do with drinking alcohol on an empty stomach you would have stood out and took some of the attention away from the speeches and the bride and groom.

Your partner couldn't have just left you as people would have noticed and probably kept asking him how/where you were.

Except OP said she didn't drink on an empty stomach @Danielle9891 and did have water and food - this happened after the meal and cake.

I wouldn't be disappointed if my partner, or anyone, did this I would be concerned. Frankly I would find anyone who was disappointed someone was ill a tad odd.

I'd have got a cab home by myself asap. He shouldn't have been embarrassed, better than you chucking up etc. something else underlying his response.

If you read my initial post and any subsequent posts you’ll see that his persistence was making me feel worse (implying I didn’t leave immediately) but that when I felt able to (after putting my head down for a bit and deep breathing) I did leave. I was capable once I felt marginally better…. but still felt awful.

think what you like, but I know I wasn’t drunk.
if I was drunk, I wouldn’t expect much sympathy from him as that’s a pretty sorry state to be in at that sort of occasion, so early in the evening.

How could she have got a cab when she wasn’t well and had to keep her head down?