10 year old alone after school?

[Picklelicklemk]

In a bit of a pickle. Our DC becomes too old for a local nursery we use for after school in a couple of months. I don't finish work until 5pm and home for 5.30pm.

School finishes at 3.15pm what am I supposed to do to bridge the gap? Is 10 too young to be alone? DC is fairly sensible and trustworthy but just seems so young!

No family or friends we can rely on.

What do other people do for after school care when their DC hit this age? TIA

Are they ten or eleven?

Childminder?

My DD is yr6 but was 11 in September so she has spent this school year so far letting herself in after school on the day I am late back. Is here until a similar time as you said.
Until end of yr5 she went to after school club with her younger sister

11 year old should be fine. 10, is a bit different, especially if they are just 10, as in nearer to 9

Thanks sorry typo 10 will be 11 in September. Childminder is not feasible as the only one in the area charges extortionate amounts and over the week it would eat away at the little I earn.

10. It says so twice.

I’m in the office till about 4. My 9 year old (Y5) goes to an after school activity (cricket) till 4:15 and gets picked up by me on way back and she walks home and waits till I get home with her sister at 4:40 one day (in the house about an hour alone). She has an air tag on her keys, can contact me via iMessage from her iPad when she gets in to confirm she’s home ok and knows 3 neighbours she can check in with if she’s worried (we have a reciprocal arrangement where their kids can come to us on my wfh days). She started with shorter periods at home and then first term she went to activities both days I was at the office. Any way you could trade drop off/pick up with a friend from school or does he have any friends nearby who have parents in where he could go for help if he needed?

It originally said eleven, which has now been edited.

And no you cannot leave them to get themselves home and then be left alone for two hours. Childminder, nanny, babysitter, change hours at work, leave early, work from home. All options working parents of year 5 kids have to use. Fending for themselves is neglect. Quite shocked you have to ask tbh.

I should add I think it depends a bit what is typical. Where we live virtually all the Y5 kids walk to/from school & activities alone and it’s pretty normal that they are home alone for some time at least some nights. The school does offer lots of free/cheap clubs though

So they have somewhere until they turn 11 in September?

At that point they'll be in Year 6.

Provided DC is sensible and happy with the arrangement this should be fine come September.

Living in a small village with very limited options it's hardly easy, certainly can't just cut my hours short leaving a vulnerable adult alone because it suits me 🙄

Is this every day? Not a once a week thing?

Two hours a day on their own after school, five days a week, seems a lot. That would seem like quite a lot even for an 11/12 year old who's now at secondary school.

You need toe explore options to avoid it, even if only a couple of nights a week.

Can you ot DP alter your hours?
Can they go to an after school club?
Can they go to a friend?
Is there an after school club elsewhere?
You've said a child minder isn't an option but is that purely cost?

If DC does go straight home then put safety plans in place for that.
How do they feel about it? Ok whilst light but come October and it's dark again.
Can you have a ring door bell so you can see them arrive?
Can they walk with friends or neighbours?
Do you trust them with a key and to be home alone for 2 hours?
Do they have a phone?
Do you need to consider pets?

Only you can decide what is right for your family. It's not just about being home alone it's getting there, going into an empty house, and emergency situations.

It’s not neglect.

OP, you say "our" and "we", which sounds like you have a partner. Is he/she unable to help with this?

If 11 in September then yes I think it’s fine to come home and wait if sensible. I did at that age, no problem. When she starts secondary school most of the kids will be walking home then often home without a parent for a bit

OP are 10 year olds allowed to walk home on their own as school policy varies on this?

Well you can if you have some back ups in place just in case something is a problem. I know numerous people who do and whose kids have me as their person to ask for help if there is an issue and so far all year two out of six of them have ever needed help. One forgot his keys one day and hung out with us till his mum was home. The other had a fuse blow so all the lights went out and again she chose to hang out with us till her parents were back

Neglect?! Slight over-reaction.

Depends very much on the child, where you live, whether you have reliable neighbours etc. Obviously have the "what if" discussions and check in regularly.

I know it was different in my day but I was certainly doing this for short periods at the age of 9/10.

Alternatively, you need to suck it up and pay for short term childcare. Won't be for long.

certainly can't just cut my hours short leaving a vulnerable adult alone because it suits me

It's not 'because it suits you', it's because you are a parent. Responsible for a young child.

But she isn't at secondary school and won't be for 18 months.

OP could you do a few practice runs and see how sensible your DC is, can they manage the key, do they feel safe on his own etc?

Sounds like you need a Mother's Help or a regular baby sitter. Is there a nearby college that finishes early enough that a student could pick her up and supervise her for a few hours? Would be good for someone doing a childcare course, more of a big sister / au pair type role.

No one would blink an eye at an 11 year old at secondary was home alone for a couple of hours even if they were born in August so similar to your daughter. Before I started WFH my daughter loved those hours to herself and was most put out when I was at home all the time.

Is there an after school club and do they live close enough to the school to walk home? If they're at a club for an hour then that means less time at home. They'll finish primary school in 3 months so I think it's fine to leave them home alone as long as they have a charged phone to ring you.