10 year old alone after school?

[Picklelicklemk]

In a bit of a pickle. Our DC becomes too old for a local nursery we use for after school in a couple of months. I don't finish work until 5pm and home for 5.30pm.

School finishes at 3.15pm what am I supposed to do to bridge the gap? Is 10 too young to be alone? DC is fairly sensible and trustworthy but just seems so young!

No family or friends we can rely on.

What do other people do for after school care when their DC hit this age? TIA

The OP has said the child turns 11 in September - so they are probably still in Year 5 at the moment.

Fending for themselves is neglect

No it isn't.

Ah yes. I still think the child will be fine as long as the school isn't that far from home and there aren't busy roads. An after school club would be best.

We use a friends older brother who only works mornings. Are there any college students etc who are free around that time?

Thats what I was about to suggest. I did this when I was in my final year at high school.

I looked after a boy who must have been around 10/11. Certainly still at primary school. I went after school & basically babysat for an hour or so til his parents got home.

It was great. I was obviously a lot cheaper to pay than a childminder but it saved me getting a Saturday job.

Might be worth exploring

Our eight year old walks home alone and is home alone until we get home which ranges from about 30-180 minutes. Its fine, he makes himself a snack and drink, watches a bit of TV, plays lego etc if he hasn’t gone to the park with friends on the way home.

Can you work on a get home routine if there aren’t any after school clubs etc?

8 - that's appalling. Sorry but it really is.

I am staggered by this. 8 years old walking home alone and staying alone for up to 3 hours..

Not something I have heard of or would be ok with.

No OP, I don't think it is ok. Too risky at such a young age.

This is so interesting to read. Think it depends a lot on the context and individual child.

in the Scandinavian country where I live, around half of 10 year olds would go home by themselves either by bike foot or public transport. I wouldn’t let my 10 year old do it, likely cos I’m used to the more protective culture in the UK. I’m Finland, where I used to live, most kids go home from school by themselves around 8 and definitely by 9, even in the big cities.

to me, the main issue would be that the kid would likely feel lonely and spend a lot on time on screens, unless this was prohibited. Wouldn’t be too worried about anything going seriously wrong.

If I knew you were allowing that I’d be making a safeguarding notification to school, and probably social services. Three hours alone at age 8, after walking home from school alone/maybe taking himself to the park, is ridiculous and frankly neglectful. I’m amazed the school hasn’t raised concerns.

You better report the entirety of sweden then

You’ll be rather busy reporting the entire parental population of sweden to social services 🤣

for god’s sake, how do you all think kids survived in the past? And no, every other kid wasn’t kidnapped, mileages or hit by a car back in the 80s when this was the norm. No wonder so many kids suffer from anxiety today.

Why didn't you state that you live in Sweden?

I assume the OP is posting from the UK

Surely you understand different cultural norms?

<insert huge eye roll here> Well if you live in Sweden then clearly you’re parenting in a different culture and risk environment. I dare say it’s normal in vast areas of the world to leave 8 year olds unsupervised or even expect them to surpervise other younger children. Doesn’t make it appropriate, especially in a U.K. context.

I think even in UK, this depends on context. OP says she lives in a smaller village, so that’s very different than if she was living in a big city. Also depends on the child - if they’re mature, sensible and reliable or anxious and immature. There are no bars and fast rules. You know your kid and local environment best, OP. Make your own decision, but don’t let it be ruled by fear of other people’s judgements.

My son has done this since y5. It's not every day though. The days where he does this there is a nice snack at home and he walks home slowly, eats that and watches TV. He's usually surprised when I get home that it's already 5.30!
Now he's y6 he makes his own snack.
He has a phone now too and I also have small cameras in some rooms which we can talk through so I 'call' him via that on my way home.
I am lucky that I have friends and family close who WFH and whose numbers he has. We went through a 'what to do if' scenario before he started this.
It's not neglect for a 10yo to walk home and get a snack by themselves.

What?

no, of course not! What a ridiculous notion!

My 10 year old DD walks home alone (with friends), let's herself in, makes a snack and jumps on Roblox. She's home alone for 1 to 11/2 hours and is fine. She needs our permission to leave school alone.

Totally depends on the child.

It was fairly common when I was a child. I often used to go to my friend's house after school as she was usually on her own for a couple of hours. We didn't get up to any mischief, just read Jackie, watched TV and ate crisps.

Have just read some of the 'report them for safeguarding concerns' up thread 😳😂
As a PP said, entire nations are being slated here. The entirety of Asia for a start.

It's all context. My children grew up in a country where children got the train and bus home alone from 8 upwards. Here, I didn't allow that (mostly because public transport is shit in the U.K.) but walking distance from 9 suited my children. By 9 my children knew eg- how the heating turns on/ how to make simple snacks like scrambled eggs on toast/ pancakes etc solo/ who (and how) to call in an emergency etc.

My son's best friend has ADHD and has not yet been left alone (13) as it's not something he'd cope with or be safe with.
Different courses for different horses.

Jesus Christ this is terrible. He is eight!

I say that as a full time working parent , I never ever would have done this. Blimey. Especially in the winter when it gets dark so early. Gosh. Poor kid. You really need to bring more accountable and responsible as a parent!

Thinking about this, my 12 year old collects his 10 year old and 7 year old siblings from school (whilst I wait outside the gates) he isn't allowed to do this but I had to convince the school to allow it as my daughter can't come into the playground (asd) so school agreed to it on the conditions that I was outside the whole time and he wasn't allowed to bring them home alone or they weren't allowed to be at home alone. Yet on here 8 year olds are coming home from school alone and being alone for hours?! Where does everyone live that that's allowed.

No I think they are too young. If there is no after school club or friend that can help you will have no option but to use the childminder.

An 8 year old doing that, blimey. Friends' eldest turns 8 in June and I wouldn't leave him unsupervised for more than a few minutes, he'd injure himself or break something, plus he doesn't like being by himself even upstairs if adults are downstairs.