Would your partner wake you up shouting due to cramp?

[Daisypod]

As the title says really, Aibu to think shouting out in agony due to leg cramp in the middle of the night is somewhat over the top?
Dh did this last night and I thought something was seriously wrong! I've had cramp myself and usually quietly stretch out or sometimes stand to sort it, certainly don't shout out in pain.
But I am prepared to admit I'm bu if others have had it much more severely than I have, I've just never heard of it being that bad.

My DH gets them often. Yes from what I can see they are awful and worthy of shouting. I have to run over and rub his leg until it stops. He's literally frozen in pain and can't move until it passes. Yabu

The posters who claim to cure the problem by a bit of stretching have clearly never experienced a real Charley Horse.

It's possible to stretch your way out of a twinge of cramp but a full blown attack is so shockingly painful that loud hollering is unavoidable.

I thankfully don't get them often but when I do then I absolutely wake up yowling! It isn't to be deliberately annoying. DH is brilliant and knows to quickly manipulate my foot to release it.

OP I am with you. My dh has done this occasionally, the first time it happened was several years in to the marriage and he didn't know what it was. At the time I had been through a pregnancy where I had had quite frequent calf cramps and he had been none the wiser. This was not because my cramps weren't bad, nor that his were worse. They were agonising but my way of dealing with pain does not involve yelling! It was the same in labour- the midwives were going to send me home because they didn't think I was in enough pain for anything to be happening- turned out I was almost fully dilated.

We are all different - so to me, someone yelling and waking up others in the process is being an inconsiderate drama queen.

My dh does this. He is not one for making a huge fuss though, so, although I am kind of in agreement with you and deal with my own cramp silently, I am prepared to believe that for some the pain is stronger.

I'd also be concerned about him getting up to go to the loo a lot if it's a new thing.

Oh, to be so perfect and stoic!

We are all different but some of us are doing it wrong...

Yelling in pain is an involuntary response most of the time. I highly doubt people are doing it to be Drama Queen, especially in the middle of the night.

I think this is the important point.

if he’s suddenly getting up to go to the loo or having such bad cramps that he shouts, it probably is a slight potassium or magnesium deficiency. A banana a day and a magnesium supplement for a little while wouldn’t be the worst idea. If that doesn’t help, it might be time to see the GP (I’m only saying this if the frequent loo visits are new; if not, one cramp is no big deal).

Also, I can’t tell you’re being unreasonable or not. When I first got sick, LONG time ago, I spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals before and after my diagnosis, until my meds were stable. My ex-DH (who was often with me) and I noticed from other patients that pain is often relative. Everyone feels pain differently, and copes differently. This is an overdramatized example but it was as if someone could come by ambulance with a gash on their finger and be screaming their head off in pain, whereas someone else would walk in with half their hand missing, just moaning a bit and with a tea towel taped around it.

I’ve had terrible foot and leg cramps from really low potassium (caused by diuretics after steroids) and didn’t yell. But, that could just be because I’m not a yelling person (except once, when I tore about five tendons in one go). Maybe someone else would have yelled. Or maybe someone else’s cramps are worse; maybe your DH’s cramp was. I’ve always thought it would be helpful if you could have a machine that would show you how much pain people feel, so then you’d know how to best help, because it’s impossible to know when you can’t feel it yourself.

I get bad leg cramps when I’m asleep fairly often, and no I don’t usually shout out in pain.

BUT

for every 1000 times I’ve had a normal leg cramp that I can just stretch out, there has been one that is unlike any other and yes I have involuntary woken up shouting in pain, shaking, crying and can’t physically move due to the pain to be able to relieve the cramp.

@5yearsleft whereas someone else would walk in with half their hand missing, just moaning a bit and with a tea towel taped around it.
That was my 3 year old, top of his
finger off one scream and barely a tear.
Some suggested he was in shock but I don't know.

Even now If he's really hurt he just goes really quiet and won't tell you anything or where hurts.

I agree - and at least with labour, you can ask the midwives to send you a nice anaesthetist to come along with an epidural.

Yes! I've had sudden cramp in a calf only very occasionally. The sudden pain is excruciating and I find myself hammering the calf muscle with my fists to try and reduce the pain. Putting weight on the affected leg is very difficult and the soreness can last for a couple of days, even with pain relieving gel. My sympathies to whoever gets these. 🌹

Ah, I’m sorry. That must be so tough when he’s still so little, and a bit of a stress for you. He may have a high pain tolerance or he may have a perfectly normal pain tolerance but just not be a person who yells. Hopefully, he’ll be able to communicate a bit more about how and where it hurts as he gets older. He may still always be on the quiet side about pain, which is okay.

I doubt he'd wake me as we have our own rooms and I borderline die when I sleep.

But it's quite shocking that you expect everyone to handle pain in the exact same manner as you. You're massively unreasonable.

Its 4 years ago and the Surgeon managed to put it back together, leaving a little scar. But it feels like yesterday, it always comes back to me never to think that just because he's quiet that he's not hurt.

I’ve woken dh before when I’ve cried out in pain.

I’ve only ever had cramps like that when I was heavily pregnant and yes I did wake my partner up because I was loud. Fucking hurt and was a complete shock each time so I cried out. Not that sorry about it, I didn’t do it on purpose after all.

Yes my DH does this now and again and he's not known for being a drama queen.

Apparently men are not as good with pain (or laundry) as women...

I've been in floods of tears with leg cramp, and yes have woken up my partner by shouting out. It can be incredibly painful.

If you have them really badly literally you cannot move. There's no "stretching it out" - or walking to the bathroom to sort it.

you need someone to grab your leg, rotate your ankle and rub your leg hard like mad.

Before having a baby I'd be like no, I've had leg cramps they're fine. Then I got pregnancy leg cramps and holy jesus they hurt worse than labour. My leg would lock with them, and I'd obviously need the bathroom but couldn't get up. I'd often have to wake DH to help me unlock it and then basically carry me to the bathroom 😅

Yep. I'm a long time cramp sufferer and you cannot "gently stretch" your leg with a full blown attack. The pain in indescribable and yes, I leap out of bed and hobble round the bedroom shouting obscenities.

I woke by cramp every morning in third trimester , it was agony ! Don't think I shouted but I wanted to

I've had my husband clamp onto me shouting out. I was so confused, half asleep, 7 months pregnant at the time. But then annoyed once he stopped cos it took me ages to go off & I had to try and drift off again!