To not want child I don't know bunking in with us?

[Applecrumbleandcustatd]

We are going away soon to attend a wedding. Me, dh and our ds age 8. We are staying for a week as the wedding is quite far but in a great location so we decided to turn it into a holiday.

My sister and bil, and my sister's friend (I'll call her Judy) and Judy's dh and child, are also attending the wedding and will be staying in the same accommodation. It's a large B&B house with individual rooms/apartments.

I don't know Judy other than to say hello (this is relevant).

Dh and I booked our accommodation first, it's a one bed apartment with kitchen and sofa bed in the lounge for our son. We told my sister about it and she and her dh booked another of the apartments and decided to also make a few days of it too, fine.

Sister told Judy about the B&B and Judy then booked up the last room. Judy's room is only a double room rather than an apartment. My sister has told Judy that her dd can bunk in with us for the week and share the sofa bed with our ds. Also that Just can share our kitchen.

The dd is 12 or 13 afaik. We don't know Judy or the dd. I've spoken to Judy in passing but I've never even met the child.

I've said no but my sister is saying I'm being selfish as Judy hasn't got room and the dd will have to sleep on an airbed.

@5foot5 but I can totally see why your Mum would want to try to reach out and support her widowed sister.

Oh I am sure it came from a good place but:

a. It wasn't a recent bereavement, I think her DH had been dead several years by then.

b. Aunt did have a support network of neighbours, friends and older children from a previous marriage who lived locally, so it wasn't as if DM was offering a much needed lifeline.

c. This was our one week's holiday of the year and, whilst it might have been nice for Mum and her sister to catch up, it likely would have been dire for Dad and I and my teenage cousin.

However, I acknowledge that in OP's case the assumption that any random two children will get on and happily share a bed is much, much worse. It just reminded me though of this attitude of throwing two children together regardless is OK.

I agree, but I think it’s not a bad idea to get DH to message her. It becomes 2 against 1 and her nonsense is less effective and triggering to your DH

Your sister is batshit crazy.

I'm guessing that people always pander to her selfish demands or she has a tantrum?

You do wonder how these people must have been brought up don't you?

(Sorry Op!)

"Ooh Judy, just book what you can-Applecrumble will take your daughter/lend her kitchen..."

NO NO NO NO AND NO. That's a disaster waiting to happen a 13 year old girl and a young boy totally inappropriate. I would be horrified if it was my son.

You are NOT being unreasonable. They can use the airbed. That's what it is for. I think the couple just wants a private place to themselves, away from their daughter.

YANBU. Totally weird. Moreover a normal 13 year old girl is never, ever, ever going to share a bed with an 8year old boy she doesn’t know.

Let you sister sort her friend and her DD out, they can share her apartment, she had no right to offer up your place. No 12/13 year old girl will want to share a bed with an 8 year old boy. I take it your sister does not have children.

I would not agree to this atol. Different if you offered or even knew the kid. I would imagine this would be extremely uncomfortable for your son and Judy’s daughter, and tbh sharing a room with a child you don’t know I would not be into that atol, hell I don’t even want to share a hotel room with my own kids (have to legally) I’d speak to your sister and tell her it makes you extremely uncomfortable to have her in your room especially at that age group. And it’s unfair for your son to have to share his bed with a much older child he has no clue who she is, isn’t giving a good example for your son to share beds with randoms. It’s invading your personal space which you payed for with out your permission

Agree, what a stupid idea!

Why on earth would you book accomodation that doesn't meet your needs? Just needs to find something else and Sis can stop promising OP as free accommodation/childcare to strangers

I wouldn't feel comfortable with that either OP and surprised their mother would feel at all OK with that

Your sister is strange and a bully. You are absolutely right that is so weird to make you do that

I read the post twice as I dont get why sister has volunteered your accommodation to someone else and not her own? Many reasons to say no! Say them and stick to them! It is your holiday.

Pushy sister I’d push her off a cliff; surely she must realise putting your son into a bed with a 12yr old girl he doesn’t know is asking for trouble; poor wee lad could be scarred for life; I know my lad would have gone mental if I’d even suggested it to him at that age; you’ve got to put your big girls pants on & tell her NO absolutely isn’t happening; she had no right to make the offer before asking & she can damned well retract it.
Enjoy yourselves regardless of your sisters behaviour!!

An 8 yr old boy and a nearly teenage girl should not be sharing a bed period . Even if you did know them it’s a no from me

This.

Absolutely no way would this be happening.

Absolutely NO !!!!

She is a real CF your sister. Unfortunately the only way to deal with people like that is to speak to them in their own language. Tell her clearly no that won’t be happening, it’s really inappropriate to put a girl of that age in with an 8 year old boy. Plus you don’t want her there, it’s your break. Tell her you are shocked she is being so cheeky and you won’t be putting up with it.

It’s too much responsibility to take on a teenager you don’t know ..no idea of their needs or behaviours . Dumping your kid on others isn’t ok. Just say no it’s not convenient and don’t explain further.

Errrr just NO

Nope.
I doubt a 13 year-old girl would want to share a bed with a stranger even if he's only 8.
Plus Judy knew what the space was like when she booked it. So I would guess she had planned on her daughter staying with her and her husband.

All sounds a bit weird and really stupid.

You and husband? partner? were going to make a holiday of it.

But obviously, not happy enough in yourselves, you persuaded sister and husband to join you for "this holiday accommodation".

And sister, not happy enough in the arrangements, invited a third wheel and started offering your accommodation out to the third wheel.

Why did sister not offer out her own accommodation?

You all sound weird and like people who can't be happy without other people around.

Why couldn't you and partner just plan quiet time for the two of you?

Why are you dragging in sister, who is now dragging in another friend???

You all sound weird and like people who can't be happy without other people around.

Why couldn't you and partner just plan quiet time for the two of you?

Why is it so hard to understand that if you have all been to a wedding it is nice to socialise after?