To think it was a bit shit of my direct report to say this?

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

I have recently started line managing a new person. My first time managing anyone and its going fine. As I will be busy in my role over the next few weeks, I scheduled a catch up with them today. They've been in their role for four weeks now, part time. I know starting a new role can be really overwhelming so I thought it would be a nice chance for a one on one check to see if they're OK and to discuss a few aspects of the future of the role as they will want to bring fresh ideas.

Well, one of the first things out of their mouth was, "its far too early to be doing this" (they meant a one to one/catch up). I replied that as I'll be busy over the next few months, I wanted to check of they were OK. Also they've been learning the new role. Lots of elements to it. I was just being nice!!! I was taken aback tbh. Am I being sensitive?

Line managing is like parenting.

The kids are good all day at school but come home and give you all the shit.

The sooner you detach a few paces the better. There’s no difference between what they said and being called a fart face by a toddler.

You can handle it.

So many office grumbles would be solved by putting people down for naps, doling out snacks and patting them on the head “Your spreadsheet is wonderful darling, have a sticker”.

its far too early to be doing this" (they meant a one to one/catch up)

After 4 weeks - I would say it is long overdue. New hires need more contact generally than those who have been there for some time.

@SpeedbirdSquawker I found @CloudsUnderwater a bit too strong! IME a good manager checks in to make sure people are OK, so you did the right thing. Your new starter blew your check in out of proportion which is on them.

Don't take it personally or dwell on what's happened too much, but do keep tabs on the new starter. In your shoes, I'd be very clear the purpose of the next 121 and I would def make time to have one no matter how busy I found myself esp if over reaction is where thry go when they feel stressed....

After 4 weeks - I would say it is long overdue. New hires need more contact generally than those who have been there for some time.

I agree. As a manager, it would be a massive red flag to me if one of my direct reports didn't want a 1:1.

Firstly did she definitely mean in the post and not in the day? This morning A&E phoned me at my desk at 5am and I said oh wow that's a lot too much information for 5.07 in the morning.
Secondly did she understand what you'd booked her in for? I'd expect a 1:1 in the first week and then about a month in...did she maybe think it wss some kind of performance review?

Also I don't really understand why you didn't respond 'what do you mean?' And then you could have managed expectations or set the ground rules etc.

To be honest, I would have expected to have a 1-1 with my Manager on joining, to start the relationship, check on how I’m settling in, see if I need any additional support etc.
It’s difficult to comment on whether it’s reasonable without context. If you had a first meeting after 4 weeks of starting I might feel unsupported. Then if our first meeting, I perceived you to quickly launch into ‘all the stuff you need to tackle’ . I might feel unsupported and overwhelmed. I’m not sure if this was the case, but I’d try and look at the situation in their shoes first….or perhaps ask them how they’re feeling - what sits behind that comment.
It may not be you, they could have bad social skills …but I’d look into this other stuff first.

What I learnt with line managing. It’s nice to be nice, but you aren’t their friend and they need to understand your role at work. You are there to guide and support and if that entails a 1-2-1 then that is what is going to happen. Be firm but fair, if you show any sign of weakness they’ll walk all over it further down the line

Ah, that could explain it: the dreaded 11 o'clock on a Monday morning meeting which seems to be a thing with managers. (A Tuesday morning after a bank holiday is the equivalent of Monday, being the start of the working week.)

It almost seems calculated to instil fear or dread into the heart of the recipient. In some cases I'm sure that's why they do it.

If the employee doesn't know what it's about, he or she has all weekend to wonder and worry about what they are having to face at the start of the week on Monday morning - anxious about whether they've failed or done something wrong and if they're going to be hauled over the coals.

Equally if it's the usual annual performance review, that brings a degree of anxiety in any case and leaving it over the weekend and to face on Monday morning, just compounds that.

Management is more an art than a science and the timing of meetings can be a factor. I'd favour the latter half of the week - by the end of Wednesday you've broken the back of it and spirits rise with the weekend in sight to get over any upsets in the working week.

That's bonkers @Abitofalark What professional person would be scared of a meeting just because it's on a Monday morning?!

It's completely usual to have meetings at the start of the week - usually to talk about what the focus is and if anyone is going to need any help/assistance through the week. Little point doing that at the end of the week.

Honestly. I don't know how people get on in the real world.

Not at all are you being sensitive. How early it is to be doing the review is subjective and not entitledly their decision. Set em straight!

I agree with you, people just seem to be incapable of getting on with things these days. Dreading a Monday morning meeting?! I wouldn't pander to this nonsense: it's a business, not a crèche.

And OP: with your update that this is a man, I would nip this in the bud right now-he doesn't get to decide when you meet with him. You are his manager and if you give him an inch now you'll never hear the end of it. If he wants to be the one making the decisions he can pull his finger out and apply for a management role.