To think it was a bit shit of my direct report to say this?

[SpeedbirdSquawker]

I have recently started line managing a new person. My first time managing anyone and its going fine. As I will be busy in my role over the next few weeks, I scheduled a catch up with them today. They've been in their role for four weeks now, part time. I know starting a new role can be really overwhelming so I thought it would be a nice chance for a one on one check to see if they're OK and to discuss a few aspects of the future of the role as they will want to bring fresh ideas.

Well, one of the first things out of their mouth was, "its far too early to be doing this" (they meant a one to one/catch up). I replied that as I'll be busy over the next few months, I wanted to check of they were OK. Also they've been learning the new role. Lots of elements to it. I was just being nice!!! I was taken aback tbh. Am I being sensitive?

It was a strange comment from her, and it would have been questioned by me then and there.

That said, you really need to make time for a monthly 1-1 with your staff, 6 weeks bare minimum, regardless of how busy you are.

If you leave it a few months because you're "busy" who knows what you'll find when you do do one.

Actually this is workplace-dependent. Where I work 1:1s are (by policy) monthly, a manager can't just decide to do them weekly. It sounds very regimented but it's designed to stop employees being singled out - if they need a more frequent 1:1, that's potentially a sign you're underperforming and that is managed through a specific process.

Are you sure they didn't mean far too early in the morning?

Even if not, it is their one to one and that was useful insight for you to gain. I'd have taken it to mean that she is still getting to grips with her day to day and hasn't yet had the head space to think much about the future. It wouldn't have crossed my mind to take it personally.

Not sensitive at all that's inappropriate for them to say that and I'd have a mental small red flag up for the time being over their attitude.

Nothing wrong whatsoever in having a check in after 4 weeks.

I have made it clear I will be available for further training/development over the next few weeks, just not as much as I have other things on. Also by now there are a few things that they can be getting on with which they know. They also are aware I'll be around for anything they need.

If I have to move meetings to 9, I usually apologise or make a self-deprecating comment. I'd have laughed that off if I hadn't got in there early.

It would ring warning bells with me. Typically people who haven't been in their jobs long do not take it upon themselves to tell their manager when they should meet with them. The fact that they did suggests an I know best attitude that can be hard to manage, and a lack of awareness of etiquette/ lack of filter that could cause issues if interpersonal skills are required in the role. I'd also see it as an indication they felt they'd not achieved anything worth discussing as yet and were maybe defensive about that.

It does seem like an attempt at control. I think you might revisit it. “At our one-one-one you said it was too early to have it. What did you mean?”

Monthly meetings like this are fairly standard. I know some who have them weekly.

Is this a man?

You need to grow a thicker skin in the sense that your direct reports being dicks shouldn’t get to you or shake your confidence. But yes, your direct report is being a dick, and I would be slightly concerned about a response like that.

She or he probably thought she was being summoned for scrutiny or a performance-type review which can be something to dread.
Depends on how you went about setting it up and communicating its purpose and what she knows or doesn't know, being new, of the system of management catch ups, reviews etc.

Reassure her you will always be available even though you are busy, and will schedule a weekly catch up so she doesn't feel neglected in the rush of everyday pressures.

Was that in response to something you'd said ie did you mention wanting to know future plans if that was the case then 4 weeks in with a part time member of staff then it was too early. If she walked into the meeting and blurted that out its incredibly rude.

I would be shocked at not having a 1:1 between a line manager & direct report before 4 weeks! 1:1s should be weekly when new in the job - potentially less frequently once the person is confident in their role. Very weird for them to start so rudely but I would have answered something like "not at all, it's important that we have good communication but if I end up asking you anything where you feel it's too early to tell the answer then that will be fine. Why don't we start off with you telling me a bit about how you are settling in and how you are finding things as you get used to your new role"

Obviously it might be too early to start doing KPIs/targets etc but that doesn't mean you can't talk.

I don't think you were doing anything wrong at all. I think the staff member was wrong and shouldn't have been questioning the timing. And I say that as a trade union official- I'm normally all for people 'sticking up for themselves' but it's an odd response of theirs when their manager asks for a catch-up meeting one month in.

In that case, it could come across that you were actually doing some sort of informal report on their progress. I also think that saying you wanted to catch up because you'd be busy in the next few months wasn’t great - what would they do if they needed some support from you if you've told them now you're going to be too busy?

I'd be wary at this stage-you don't want to set a precedent of them thinking they can dictate your interactions. You're the manager, not them.

I guess op would cover all that in the 1-2-1?

Also, nothing wrong at all even if op was doing an informal report on their progress.

Bottom line is op discussed having a very valid meeting and the employee responded rather strangely to their manager. Op has done nothing wrong here.

In all the jobs I’ve ever done, I just can’t imagine being called into a catch up meeting with my boss and me questioning it in any way, shape or form. I think I must be a bit out of touch.

Yes you do. Plus you need to learn that as management YOU say when it's the right time for doing anything.

Had one of mine said that to me she would have been slapped down (verbally, of course).

It's really good practice to be checking in and talking about how they're finding their new role and offering an opportunity to seek support or discuss any issues. So I'm wondering if you had different ideas and expectations of the meeting and their rather defensive comment was indicative of crossed wires.

You are being too sensitive.
You're not wrong for calling an informal, catch up meeting 4 weeks in.
If there were any issues or teething problems, it would have been stupid to wait for months when it could have been sorted 4 weeks in. Most jobs I've been in have a first review at 6 weeks in but still, calling it FAR TOO early at 4 is them being dramatic.

Is that a done thing now? I must be old, but I can't imagine commenting on my manager's meeting invites in this manner.

Yup it's a man!

Are you sure it wasn’t early in the morning? 🤣

They're being a tit. I work in HR and all decent managers do regular 1:1s with their direct reports.

You've literally done nothing wrong.

I am a line manager and when I have a new team member I have 1:1s with them on a weekly basis for the first few weeks, then every other week during their probation period. It's completely normal.