I'm fat, and look as though I should be, but I'm not.

[CettePersonne]

I am definitely being unreasonable.

I was always naturally slim. Around 8st at 5'2ish. Not skinny, I always had a pretty generous arse but on a small frame. I've always loved food - not lots of junk, pretty healthy really but just "normally" not obsessively so - just whatever I fancied without thinking.

Two dcs, multiple mcs, and a lockdown discovery of wine and pringles down and I'm very definitely not slim now. I lost the weight slowly after dc1, but after the mcs and then dc2 (now 5) it was a different story...

I've been exercising properly 3-4 times a week this year and have long since knocked the evening junk snacking on the head and reduced the wine. But the weight is stuck hard now. I'm 40. My belly is outrageous and the arms and arse are following suit. I don't often weigh myself because I never got in the habit because I didn't care, but I'm now 10.5ish st. I think that makes me overweight, but more to the point it looks and feels like it does.

I don't care about the numbers on the scales or on my labels, bigger is fine I see lots of lovely toned looking size 14+ women, I really just want to not wibble and to be able to wear jeans without looking like Humpty Dumpty trying on a wig 😩 My jeans are uncomfortable, nothing fits properly.

So, I've decided to deal with this by throwing a massive strop..! <STOMPS foot and Fucking Swears!!> I am not calorie counting but I have consciously stopped snacking and kept an eye on portions and tried to make healthy choices, and I've really upped my activity. Yet I think I'm still getting bigger... It's really not fair 😩 I already ignore the hunger pangs after the gym, do I really have to cut down to restrictive portions just to stop gaining more weight? I see fit looking women older than me, surely it's not just my age? Has my natural advantage just fucking turned itself off now!? Does everyone over 35 and under 10st actually feel starving all the time!? (N.B. I know I'm being ridiculous.)

Feel free to tell me how unreasonable I'm being I obvs I need to hear it..! But solidarity is welcome too! What is this actually gonna take...?

I wish I only weighed 8st.

I use a calorie tracker, don't necessarily weigh stuff but the odd time that I do just to check my perception is right I have been quite close to the weight in grams. I try to eat at least 80gr of protein a day, I know it should be closer to 100 but again, try to no go over the calories and get enough fruit and veg. Just try to eat a lot of "colourful meals" too

Calorie counting is so impossible though. What if someone else cooks you dinner? Weighing every ingredient in every meal is not realistic for most people, and as has been pointed out guessing is pointless.

It's also hard to be frugal while on a diet. I often basically have to just eat whatever there is in the fridge, whatever is leftover.

I try 16:8 but it has made zero difference, I'm just hungry a lot.

Low carb - hungry.

Fml.

I only have two cups of tea a day 😅 so it can't be that!

I probably have about 200ml of milk in tea throughout the day and 110 ml in my porridge in the morning, thats about 360mg of calcium, 10ish of protein and 300ish calories.

I’m 34 5 ft 2 and 9 stone. I’m not chubby at all but body fat % is around 19 so I have good muscle mass. Weight on scale isn’t everything x

To add to the toast v cereal v yogurt v eggs for breakfast discussion, I find that whole meal seeded toast with nut butter fills me up longer than porridge or fruit & yogurt. Seeded bread has a decent amount of protein too. Actually, today I had one slice toast with walnut butter plus a small bowl of blueberries with zero fat yogurt. About 350 calories, I thought that was a good mix.

I'm 5ft 7 , 9 stone and 35. I have 3DC, with the last one born 10months ago. I can promise you I'm starving all the time. I'm not naturally slim, and I'm definitely not toned. In order to stay the same weight I do intermittent fasting about 5 times a week.

I'm 42 and 5ft 2in, I had my third baby 18 months ago and after Christmas I decided I wanted to lose a stone as I felt I was overweight at over 9.5 stone. None of my clothes fitted me. I had lost weight after my previous two pregnancies but this time it was much slower. I went from eating whatever I felt like to simply having 3 meals a day. Porridge for breakfast, a light lunch and a smaller portion of dinner. I also tried to hit 15k steps a day.

I have lost a stone in 4 months but it's literally been half a pound a week. There were weeks where I didn't lose anything or even went up by a pound. I try to avoid treats, apart from may be twice a week. If I go out for a nice meal or drinks I have whatever I want but I basically write off that week knowing that enjoying a night out means no weight loss. I'm more or less at my target weight now so I will probably relax a bit more if it's maintenance rather than weight loss. I just want to make sure it doesn't slowly creep back.

Porridge is not normally made with milk. If done properly it is creamy made with just water, and not all that instant Cr*^p. Boil a kettle and soak in hot water overnight for a great (cheaper) start

Soupfiend - Calcium is found in leafy greens, especially Spinach, which are MUCH lower in calories and offer iron too. As CettePersonne is a) unhappy about her weight and b) doing pretty much everything right, I suggested previously that she might look at her milk intake, which she is taking a look at. She is still very young, so that a month or 2 to lose those few extra pounds won't hurt her. Sometimes, a tip of balance for a short while is all that is needed, as she is very laudably doing something before she really has a problem

Calcium is in lots of foods absolutely, but the big hitters are dairy and OP already drinks tea, its about incorporating good nutrition into a diet that is what you're largely already doing and at her age (Im older) calcium and vit d is something to focus on

You should probably stay away from making assumptions as well, as far as I can see no one has mentioned instant porridge (which is actually made with water), personally I make pinhead oatmeal and I use full fat milk

OP is trying to cut weight down, she is already doing well with her diet, and drinks a lot of milky tea, so my suggestion was that she look at just how much milk as a small tweak. She is also young enough to do so for a month or 2. Don't beat me up about it.
Some instant porridge contains added calcium too, but sometimes added sugar and dried milk. Many folks do make it with milk as per instructions. Clearly YOU are, not like OP, looking for help to review her already good diet to see if she can tweak a small weight loss.
It is a common tactic to cut hunger pangs with a tea or coffee, but it just adds milk fats and rarely works. Better to eat an egg.