To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

[MrsB777]

I've been asked to be a bridesmaid for two weddings this year, both of which I need to purchase my own dress for. The dresses that have been chosen range from £100-130.

AIBU to think that if someone asks me to be in their wedding, then they should pay for the dress? I've been a bridesmaid previously and the bride bought my dress.

It most certainly isn’t traditional for a bridesmaid to pay for their own dress in the UK. Bride & groom pay for bridesmaids dresses & suit (sometimes hired suits).

Ive been a bridesmaid about 6 times and never bought my dress and we paid for bridesmaids dresses at our wedding.

X posted but this is exactly the sort of thing I mean.

Where??

I don't know anyone that's ever had to pay for their own dress in the UK.

I would decline and say why too! Cheeky fuckers!

No, it isn’t 😂

Tradition is that if the bride dictates the dress, she pays.

If the bride says BMs can wear whatever they want, they pay, although more frequently the bride will give a contribution.

Tradition my arse.

I'm 55 years old and I've been a bridesmaid more times than I can count.

It's never been a tradition in England anyway.

I've always paid for mine - three times. But they were all outfits I could wear again.

There is no lifetime in which I’d expect my friends to pay for their bridesmaid dresses. I cannot stand people who want it all for their wedding but are not prepared to pay for it. Gross.

say no, absolutely do not get into debt for someone else’s entitlement!

Tradition that bridesmaids pay or bride & groom pay? I can’t tell who you’re disagreeing with 🤣

The tradition is the bride pays for the bridesmaid's dresses. It's her wedding, her choice of dress, she pays.
It's very cheeky to expect them to pay!

From what I hear it's normal in America, and the UK wedding industry seems to be taking a lot of their traditions on sadly.

Although funnily enough, only the ones that save the B&G money. In the US it's rare to have a cash bar and most couples provide a free bar, the tight gits haven't picked that one up!

American tradition seems to be having loads of bridesmaids who pay for their dresses. British tradition is that the bride pays (and there used to be fewer bridesmaids).

That’s shocking, your poor daughter, I don’t know what gets into some people’s minds when they’re getting married.

Nonsense.
I USA the bridesmaids paid if they picked their own. In UK bridesmaids' costs are covered by the Groom.
Over the last 30 years there has been a horrendous crossover so people (us or uk) think it is ok to insist on what the wedding party pays without covering the cost.
If BM pay for their own frock then bride's family should cover any other costs (shoes, accommodation etc).
The whole 'being a bridesmaid is expensive' thing horrified me: bridesmaids are performing a service for the bride; they shouldn't have to pay out a penny the traditional uk way).

That's so not the tradition! Not in the UK anyway.

Tradition where? I've never had to buy one

If someone wants bridesmaids they should pay for them. You shouldn't have to pay for your friend's wedding. If they can't afford to pay for your dress and really want you as a bridesmaid anyway you should be able to wear a dress you already have or a new dress of your choosing.

I paid for everything for my bridesmaid including accommodation for her and her boyfriend. I'd be embarrassed to ask someone to do me the favour of being my bridesmaid and then bill them for it.

@OhhhhhhhhBiscuits Are you in USA or is the bride just a Chavtastic Bridezilla Sociopath ?

Since when?

I had to pay for my own dress for DBs wedding and told by both DB and DM it was "tradition." (We are white British). It was only 85 quid from Debenhams, but it still annoyed me, it was hideous oyster taffeta and not something I'd ever have chosen / worn. Went straight to the charity shop after the wedding! Plus on the morning of the wedding the hair and make-up person apparently 'just worked out' they only had time to do SIL and the other bridesmaid (her sister). I had fuck all with me as I'd been told mine would be done too, had to drive to the nearest large town the morning of the wedding and buy a load of stuff in Boots. Still convinced they never actually booked for me in the first place!

And yes I'm still slightly bitter 😂.

Say no OP!

Bride should pay. If she can't afford it she shouldn't have bridesmaids.

Is that a typo or are you not British?

Nope. No one should have to pay for the 'privilege' of being someone's bridesmaid.

Are you in the UK? I've been a bridesmaid 4 times and have never paid for my dress and when I got married I bought all the bridesmaids dresses and flowers girls dresses. This seems so cheeky!!!

Bride should pay without doubt.

What I have noticed in recent years is a move towards having adult bridesmaids rather than children.