Page 14 | To not want to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

MrsB777 · 2024-04-01T15:36:57+00:00

I've been asked to be a bridesmaid for two weddings this year, both of which I need to purchase my own dress for. The dresses that have been chosen range from £100-130. AIBU to think that if someone asks me to be in their wedding, then they should pay for the dress? I've been a bridesmaid previously and the bride bought my dress.

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:19

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:14

I am very loved precisely because I don’t surround myself with piss taking cunts looking to use me to fund their ‘special day’

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Love that for you!

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:20

DappledThings · 05/04/2024 20:56

So what it is about the loungewear you're buying? Do they match? Either there's something specific about it (which will be tacky) or there isn't, in which case it's unnecessary .

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It’s a uniform colour, yes.

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:22

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 20:57

No. Very few people actually give a fuck about your day, they come along because it’s the polite and correct thing to do. They will fork out WAY more to be part of your day then they will get back in terms of a meal, which is all they benefit from in terms of finances.

I love the people in my life largely because they aren’t entitled twats, and I go to weddings to celebrate their life choice - however I do so at enormous expense to myself and I expect some humility from the B&G rather than an attitude of ‘aren’t you ever so lucky to be here’

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So sorry you feel that way about your loved ones.

Thankfully, I’m genuinely excited about attending and participating in my loved one weddings and baby showers.

id hate to be filled with so much hate, bitterness and rage over occasions that are meant to be joyful.

Aerin1999 · 05/04/2024 21:22

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:20

It’s a uniform colour, yes.

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Are we talking matching tracksuits or more pyjamas? I’m intrigued.

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:23

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:01

Good point.

@MissDeeDeeLove claims if she had to pay for BM dresses she wouldn’t have had bridesmaids at all As she can’t afford dresses… but she does buy them some tacky pyjamas for equally tacky photos.

I wonder how such entitled people find and maintain friendships when they’re such pisstakers

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You use the word tacky a lot.

is that what you’re used to, which is why you can’t comprehend anything different?

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:23

Aerin1999 · 05/04/2024 21:22

Are we talking matching tracksuits or more pyjamas? I’m intrigued.

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loungewear.

i don’t know of anyone who lounges in tracksuits.

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:25

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:09

Well in order to be married there has to be some form of wedding ceremony so you’re wrong.

If there’s no ‘need’ for anything why did YOU say you ‘need’ loungewear for you and your bridesmaid?

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This isn’t true.

you can pay £57 + £35 to give notice and have a registrar certify your marriage.

anything extra is not a need.

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:25

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:22

So sorry you feel that way about your loved ones.

Thankfully, I’m genuinely excited about attending and participating in my loved one weddings and baby showers.

id hate to be filled with so much hate, bitterness and rage over occasions that are meant to be joyful.

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I don’t feel that way about my loved ones because they’re NOT entitled twats. Thankfully I’ve never been to a wedding where the needs of guests weren’t highly considered

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:26

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:23

You use the word tacky a lot.

is that what you’re used to, which is why you can’t comprehend anything different?

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No. I used it because wedding loungewear is tacky as hell.

Aerin1999 · 05/04/2024 21:26

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:23

loungewear.

i don’t know of anyone who lounges in tracksuits.

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Well some people probably do lounge in tracksuits. There are many different kinds.

genuinely just trying to visualise loungewear - because to me that means lots of cashmere which would be very expensive.

Mnetcurious · 05/04/2024 21:27

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 20:14

Wedding Loungewear is so that the bridesmaids have something comfortable to wear whilst they’re getting ready .

If your bridesmaids like walking around naked, that’s on them.

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Do they not own any clothes of their own then? Most people own casual clothes to lounge around in at home. Walking around naked - what a ridiculous thing to say.

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:27

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:25

This isn’t true.

you can pay £57 + £35 to give notice and have a registrar certify your marriage.

anything extra is not a need.

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So you don’t need to turn up together with your OH and witnesses then and make declarations in front of a registrar (aka a ceremony). You can just skip the legal formalities but still get married? Where is this?

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:29

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:19

Dear god

What aren’t you getting? Wedding are very expensive for guests especially if they have to travel. And you don’t think you need to be grateful for them doing that because “well you don’t have to come!”? You actually think your Princess day is a privilege for them 😂 spoiler alert: 99% of people don’t care about your wedding

if a bridesmaid cannot afford or is not willing to contribute financially or emotionally to whatever the bride is requesting, then she should politely decline.

Wow! Not “Do you know what I love you enough to ask you to be a bridesmaid and if you can’t afford it I’ll buy your dress and hotel room and ditch the free bar idea”. It’s “If you can’t afford my princess day then You Can’t Sit With Us”

Being a bridesmaid is a responsibility

🤣🤣🤣🤣
No it’s a marker of love for the bride, they are responsible for nothing except ensuring they themselves have a nice day.

I don’t believe for a minute you have friends who will be bridesmaids, no one this entitled and selfish maintains friendships.

Oh wait I’m right - it’s your cousins isn’t it? Not friends?

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My friends are guests, my family are part of the bridal party.

My friends will be attending the Hen-do and we have our own separate outings etc

You’re ranting about something that has nothing to do with me, so, yeah.

You’re clearly emotionally dysregulated and my opinions have hit a nerve. Hopefully you can make peace with that.

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:29

My SIL is a registrar and she’s done everything from millionaire celeb wedding to people getting married in trainers and jeans. But she absolutely has protocol to follow no mater what, as in very set words to say, the B&G have to make particular declarations and all in front of at least 2 witnesses. It’s definitely not a case of buying a certificate and just getting a registrar to sign it. I have no idea why you think that’s the case?

DappledThings · 05/04/2024 21:29

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:20

It’s a uniform colour, yes.

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So it is just for the photos? I'd really resent being provided with a tacky, matching set of loungewear (so basically thicker pyjamas) when I already own perfectly serviceable pyjamas but being expected to buy my own bridesmaid's dress. That's a really weird thing to prioritise paying for over the dress, that they actually do need.

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:30

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:27

So you don’t need to turn up together with your OH and witnesses then and make declarations in front of a registrar (aka a ceremony). You can just skip the legal formalities but still get married? Where is this?

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This doesn’t take away from anything I’ve said.

Anyway, I’ve said what I had to say.

Appreciate you feel differently and that’s cool.

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:31

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:29

My friends are guests, my family are part of the bridal party.

My friends will be attending the Hen-do and we have our own separate outings etc

You’re ranting about something that has nothing to do with me, so, yeah.

You’re clearly emotionally dysregulated and my opinions have hit a nerve. Hopefully you can make peace with that.

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What is a ‘separate outing’. Are you asking people to come to a hen do AND do something else?

Nah people like you don’t bother me I just feel sorry for the poor sods who have to fork out for your Princess party and then made to feel like they’re the lucky ones in doing so.

Being a bridesmaid is a responsibility has to be my favourite Deluded Comment of the Week <sniggers>.

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:31

DappledThings · 05/04/2024 21:29

So it is just for the photos? I'd really resent being provided with a tacky, matching set of loungewear (so basically thicker pyjamas) when I already own perfectly serviceable pyjamas but being expected to buy my own bridesmaid's dress. That's a really weird thing to prioritise paying for over the dress, that they actually do need.

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You missed the post where I said that I will now be paying for my bridesmaids dresses as I wasn’t aware that it was a faux pas not to.

they will pay for any additional they require.

the loungewear they’ll be gifted isn’t tacky but appreciate that is subjective.

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:32

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:30

This doesn’t take away from anything I’ve said.

Anyway, I’ve said what I had to say.

Appreciate you feel differently and that’s cool.

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You literally said

you can pay £57 + £35 to give notice and have a registrar certify your marriage.

anything extra is not a need.

What like, turning up 😂
You clearly said that some marriages can happen without a ceremony. Embarrasing

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:33

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:31

You missed the post where I said that I will now be paying for my bridesmaids dresses as I wasn’t aware that it was a faux pas not to.

they will pay for any additional they require.

the loungewear they’ll be gifted isn’t tacky but appreciate that is subjective.

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I call BS.

And I’m a bit worried that your bridesmaids normally don’t own clothes. Are they ok?

MeridianB · 05/04/2024 21:35

MrsB777 · 01/04/2024 22:35

I think the issue for one of the weddings is, the bride has decided to choose ten bridesmaids, and has now realised she can't afford dresses for us all!

We are also paying for our own hair, make up and shoes. She is providing jewellery for us.

Flat no. She is clearly deluded and it’s much easier to opt out that get saddled with all that cost. I bet as soon as you drop out about seven others will, too!

MissDeeDeeLove · 05/04/2024 21:37

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NewName24 · 05/04/2024 21:41

loungewear.

i don’t know of anyone who lounges in tracksuits.

Surely 'loungewear' is literally a hybrid of tracksuits and pyjamas ?

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:42

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Why are you shouting wedding at me? Are you OK?

You were wrong 1 a cent won’t ( or WEDDING!!! If you prefer) is required to validate a marriage. HTH.

The rest of your post is hysterical considering you don’t know me. I’d never dream of treating a friend or family member as badly as you are treating yours.

I think what’s really happened here is that I’ve touched a nerve with you.

And your cousins are only ‘showering you with generosity’ because you’re a tight git making them pay a fortune for your wedding (which you genuinely somehow see as you doing them a favour not vice versa) but then giving them some shitty arse PJs to pose in 🤣🤣

Try valuing people for the humans they are not how much they subsidise your parties for. It’s nice!

YaMuvva · 05/04/2024 21:43

NewName24 · 05/04/2024 21:41

loungewear.

i don’t know of anyone who lounges in tracksuits.

Surely 'loungewear' is literally a hybrid of tracksuits and pyjamas ?

I’ve googled wedding loungewear and it’s either tracksuits dressing gowns or PJs, all monogrammed and overpriced. All tacky AF.