To make a complaint against cashier at supermarket?

[Tess1011]

I have an invisible disability (neurological) and I was made to feel really small and stupid during our shop visit today. I have only recently began joining my husband and children on the weekly shop again run to rebuild my confidence after an operation.

The cashier was scanning very quickly and the shopping was piling up before my husband was able to get to it. I was keeping an eye on our son (who has special needs and is prone to running off)

She remarked to me, in a way I can only describe as sarcastically, that I should help him.

Following this, because we were paying for the shopping in two parts (because I was using a healthy start card for my fruit and vegetables) she then commented to me again that I should have just used that card in the first part of the shop. That part of the shopping totalled £68, it wouldn't have worked because there was only £17 on the healthy start card IE enough for the fruit and veg only.

I felt put on the spot and under pressure as I stood there trying to work out if I had made a mistake. Other people in the queue were looking at me and I was embarrassed.

My processing isn't very quick and I can only do things the way that I know them. It took my husband explaining to me after we left the shop that she was wrong and the way I did it was fine as it would have been declined if I had done as she said I should

I'm generally a very laid back person and this is the first time I've ever felt the need to make a complaint like this but I left the shop feeling humiliated, judged and very small.

It's not ideal, but you don't know what invisible struggles the cashier was dealing with either.

What do you want out of this?

Someone can correct me, but I think the she was right about the healthy start - this system will take the £17 payment, make sure £17 of the shop is eligible, and ask for the second part of the payment.

Surely she should just have kept her trap shut? She's in a customer facing role.

Ideally a chat from her supervisor about not making unsolicited comments, I certainly don't want her sacked but at the same time nobody should leave feeling the way I did today it's totally unnecessary.

I'd complain but not in a 'this woman was so rude' way, more like 'I wonder if you could ask your staff to be mindful of the different challenges customers might be facing e.g. xxx'. More focused on disability awareness than about the woman being rude - though if you think she was actually rude in tone rather than just by suggesting you help etc then I'd complain about her too.

I think that she was right about the vouchers, though. You didn't have to put the fruit and vegetables through separately.

You should maybe mention though that their staff should be more aware that customers could have hidden disabilities.

Some cashiers are just impatient and rude, what do you want to come from your complaint? Fwiw I think if it was as bad as you said a email to the store does no harm they will probably have a word and reiterate patience and customer service.

Don't let this stop you going out you can build up confidence and resilience so hopefully in future you can let stuff like this go. I have a disability that affects my processing especially when I'm stressed/ tired so I understand how you would have been embarrassed.

She didn't do anything wrong, though

she was right about the HS vouchers and was probably just pointing out an easier way for you to use them.

I think she's correct about the Healthy Start card, and was trying to be helpful.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience but to be honest wouldn't it have been better to, yes accompany your husband to do the shop, but at checkout you could have moved away with your son and let your husband deal with packing and payment.

You sound so patronising.

So she should just keep quiet and remember her place should she?

She didn’t do anything wrong. Seems like grocery shop is tough for you plus looking after SEN child. Can’t you just get it delivered weekly?

I wasn't aware I could use the healthy start card that way, even so she could have explained that to me in a helpful way rather than wait until it had all been paid for and then telling me what I should have done.

I think tone of voice is also a factor but you had to be there I guess.

Just speak up at the time rather than telling tales behind her back.

This is exactly what I was doing

She did nothing wrong. You can complain but nothing will come of it, when I used to receive complaints about my staff I would just roll my eyes and delete the email.

I have an invisible disability (neurological) and I was made to feel really small and stupid during our shop visit today

As you said, your disability is invisible. People aren't psychic and you'll likely be treated exactly the same as everyone else unless you make it known that you need additional time/space/assistance.

As others have said, the cashier was correct about how you should have put through your shopping.

I would mention it because unsolicited comments like that aren't necessary and maybe just to raise awareness of hidden disabilities

I cannot understand why everyone thinks it's acceptable for the cashier to have told her to help her husband. Even without a disability, it was rude- she's not OP's mother.

Disability or not, I wouldn’t like a cashier to comment that I should be helping my husband pack shopping. Not their place to say at all.

Would you feel comfortable wearing a sunflower lanyard? The retail stores I have worked in train staff to be aware of hidden disabilities indicated by wearing them - and we also have a number staff members who wear them.