To make a complaint against cashier at supermarket?

[Tess1011]

I have an invisible disability (neurological) and I was made to feel really small and stupid during our shop visit today. I have only recently began joining my husband and children on the weekly shop again run to rebuild my confidence after an operation.

The cashier was scanning very quickly and the shopping was piling up before my husband was able to get to it. I was keeping an eye on our son (who has special needs and is prone to running off)

She remarked to me, in a way I can only describe as sarcastically, that I should help him.

Following this, because we were paying for the shopping in two parts (because I was using a healthy start card for my fruit and vegetables) she then commented to me again that I should have just used that card in the first part of the shop. That part of the shopping totalled £68, it wouldn't have worked because there was only £17 on the healthy start card IE enough for the fruit and veg only.

I felt put on the spot and under pressure as I stood there trying to work out if I had made a mistake. Other people in the queue were looking at me and I was embarrassed.

My processing isn't very quick and I can only do things the way that I know them. It took my husband explaining to me after we left the shop that she was wrong and the way I did it was fine as it would have been declined if I had done as she said I should

I'm generally a very laid back person and this is the first time I've ever felt the need to make a complaint like this but I left the shop feeling humiliated, judged and very small.

Being a supermarket cashier is one of the jobs I would never want to have to do - along with being a teacher or police officer!

I speak as a retired nurse who has run the gauntlet of a front-facing role.

I think the disability was irrelevant. It's none of the cashier's business if you put your shopping through as two transactions. Cashier was rude.

You can't have been that far away if you could see and hear her.

I don't really see what she has done wrong. She was right about the vouchers. Her comment on helping you could have said there and then that you were watching your son and got on with life.

You're happy for your staff to make unsolicited comments to your customers? Why do you think that's acceptable?

People have a right to do their shopping without this type of interference. You clearly have no regard for your customers.

She's not to know what you aren't aware of though is she? It sounds like it was traumatic for you, but it wasn't on purpose on her part by the sounds of it. Retail is hard.

Absolutely, I would write a polite letter explaining to the manager about invisible disabilities and that the staff would benefit from some training or at least a reminder about what this means.
People can have slow processing speed, difficulty holding small items such as cards etc. People often assume someone is drunk if they are getting back in the world after a stroke.
Your letter doesn't have to be shaming or scolding but can have what happened to you as an opportunity.
I hope you have lots of nice excursions over the Spring and get to enjoy being out and about again.

I'm not sure you'll get anywhere with a complaint because I don't think you addressed it at the time. I know when I've felt someone be harsh towards me not hearing I have been strong enough to say I have a hearing disability and can't hear well please can you repeat. I've found the behaviour changes dramatically by me being assertive. Have you also considered a sunflower lanyard? It may help in the future to prevent similar situations. Do you need to do a full shop at the same time with all of you? I don't know how feasible it would be to do a shop online and then your husband uses the healthy card to do the top up fruit and vegetable shop? I really struggle in the noise of shops so for me this is the least stressful option.

I worked in retail for 6 years leaving in 2018 and I had never in all of that time made unsolicited comments to customers.

You will know next time how to use your HS card. So she did you a favour.

A sunflower lanyard is a good idea, thank you.

I'm going to order one now.

Actually this. The op wasn't being disruptive or obstructive she wanted to put two lots of shopping through its not a huge deal, ok the cashier might have been telling her she could add the vouchers together to be helpful but tone is everything.

Agreed. I work in a patient facing role and even though I’d love to comment/answer bark/argue,I don’t. If you choose to work so closely with the public you need to keep your opinions/ remarks to yourself.

It's strange, kindness on MN seems to come and go like the tides. Am surprised to see the wave of unsympathetic remarks but some days it goes like that here. Always feel bad when an OP who is obviously upset about something gets a hard time on top of it 😔

You can't win on mumsnet if you work in retail

Moany threads when cashiers don't interact,speak or make any attempt at communication

Moaned about when they do!

Wouldn't do that job ever again!

Even if those remarks will be helpful to the person?

No problem, hope it helps.

Did you work as a supermarket cashier? Because there are all different sorts of retail jobs and supermarket cashier is one of the absolute shittiest types. Some retail jobs are even mostly pleasant.

Have I missed the unsolicited comments? The shopping was piling up and she suggested you help him. You interpreted it as sarcastic, who’s to say you were right. Maybe DH looked like he was struggling, maybe she thought you hadn’t noticed. It doesn’t sound like a comment to take to heart.

she was right about the transaction/card splitting.

Sounds like you’re looking for an argument at this stage. If you thought she was wrong, say it in the moment or go to a manager. It’s strange you’ve stewed on this and are now looking to complain to the shop.

I always think on these threads that the OP’s should just be honest and admit that they want some money from the shop. All of the ‘staff training’ or ‘a quiet word’ is disingenuous.

I don’t see in particular what she did wrong tbh but if you want to complain then go ahead, the likelihood is they won’t do anything about it anyway, if you have worked in retail as you claim then you will know that no one really cares about the complaints (years of retail work as a student).

The op said the cashier was rushing and a bit snarky. I don't think the op didn't want her to be chatty that isn't what the thread is about.

So disabled people should stay at home? If the OP had gave done that, he'd still be alone struggling to pack quick enough. It's good for people's physical and mental health to still be a part of running the household/doing the shopping etc. It's good for children to be part of household tasks including shopping.

@Tess1011 if you present your voucher the till will adjust for it/the amount of healthy start items and you pay the balance as usual. I've been younger and had a chronic condition, it isn't on people's radar that there might be a health reason why someone isn't helping.

If you worked in retail, you will understand how hard it is. You will also understand that you can’t have people’s shopping piling up waiting to be bagged when you have a queue of people. The cashier was trying to be considerate to the other shoppers by asking you to help.

There is no way this cashier will be given “extra training” or a stern talking to, the complaint probably won’t even get passed on. My advice would be, forget it, relax, move on. Also, have a re-think about how you do your shopping in future - if it’s too much for you then don’t put yourself through it.

Supermarket staff are seen as disposable by their employers, they earn minimum wage and are under a lot of pressure. Cut this woman a break and forget about it.

The remarks weren’t helpful though. Helpful would’ve been explaining that you can use healthy start vouchers as part payment. And suggesting she help her husband pack, that’s not really helpful either imo.

She's probably fed up with people taking the piss packing shopping. Were you in an aldi/lidl? In which case you should have just thrown it in the trolley and bagged after.

I can see why it looked a bit off, with two adults near the end of the till and only one packing. She may have thought you weren't aware of the shopping piling up. Not a comment I would lose sleep over.

She wasn't rude, she was trying to be helpful and save OP the hassle of separating the shop into two for no reason.