SIL didn’t get DD an egg bc she’s “too old”

[Eastereggcheek]

SIL has bought my younger DD, 13, an easter egg but not my older DD, 18, because she’s now an adult. I was absolutely furious when I found out! What an absolute cheek! You don’t buy one without the other. I haven’t given younger DD her egg yet as I don’t want my older one to feel left out. I’m going to go to the shops in a bit and get one for older DD and pretend it’s from SIL!

Would you find this inconsiderate? I would never have the nerve to be this spiteful!

Oh my god.

Please tell me this is really about you hating your SIL because I really can't believe a mother getting this het up about a bit of chocolate for her 18 year old child.

No because your elder daughter will then be 23 which is a bit ridiculous

If eighteen is the cut off age then that is the year of the last egg not the year you don't get one

With regards to buying one and pretending it's from sil - don't do this. By all means buy an egg for your 18 yo but be clear why you have and set this in now. She doesn't need to think sil has done something kind for her when she hasn't

Nip it now

I can see both sides to this.

I would be a bit hurt as well for the eldest, but I guess there has to be a cut off point. My family did the same thing with me and my Brother. They stopped buying things for him when he was 16 whilst I continued to get Easter eggs/presents etc.

I have 2 little girls and it would make me sad if family suddenly stopped buying something as cheap as an egg for the eldest when she turns 18! I think I would probably just get her an extra one myself.

I think that you are being unreasonable. Your SIL has been kind to buy Easter eggs for your family over the years and 18 seems a sensible age for this to stop. At what age do you expect her to cease buying your girls gifts generally?

I stopped buying Easter eggs for older grandchildren years ago and now just buy for the young ones under 18 years old.
I currently have 10 grandchildren and two great grandchildren aged from mid thirties to five years old.

Now I only buy Xmas & birthday gifts for the following:

• grandchildren currently aged under 18
• the older grandchildren & their partners who visit me or keep in touch via FaceTime etc
• the adult grandchildren who buy birthday & Xmas gifts and cards for me.

I help support grandchildren who go to university by transferring cash amounts of £100 to help with costs.
I’m currently helping my grandson & partner aged 24 who are expecting their first baby to equip the nursery.

Xmas, birthday and Easter presents stop at 18 in my family-your sil is being sensible.

I’m sure your 18 year old will understand!!

Does your 18 yo buy for her aunt (your SIL) if not, why would she expect an egg from her!

I think if she wasn't getting an egg then SiL could've given her another small gift, Easter themed bath stuff, or some more adult looking chocolates for example?
But I can't imagine your elder daughter will be upset. At 18 an egg becomes more of a jokey, optional present I'd have thought. She might much prefer being given the cash equivalent. Maybe younger one would too come to think of it?

This is absolutely batshit. Your daughter is 18, not 8.

'Absolutely furious' OP? Really?

My nephews are now 19 and 15, I didn't get them an egg this year.

Will still get them a birthday/ Xmas present until they are 21.

I do stop on birthday presents for nieces and nephews at 18 but I think I'd probably have picked up the 18 year old an egg in this circumstance. None of my nieces and nephews are local to me so I'd only ever provide eggs if we happened to be seeing them over Easter and wouldn't feel I was setting up any precedent.
I have a famously princessy young adult DD and even she would have been amused at 18 if I said Aunty x thinks you're too grown up for eggs now. Don't think I'll ever be off the hook for buying them but the urge to have a stash is gone by that age.

We stop giving extended family gifts once they reach 18. If we carried on until they were all 18, the youngest would be well and truly shafted!

Thinking the same. I did not want anymore guess chocolate eggs at 18, and even if I did, I'd go to the shop and buy the one I wanted.

I'm with SIL. We do similar, although 21 is the cut off in our family. 21st birthday is the last one you'll get a pile of gifts or cash, and then it's onto more 'token' adult stuff. You have to draw the line somewhere otherwise you'll still be making them Christmas stockings when they're 55.

Older dd is an adult. I cut off holiday gifts to nieces and nephews when they turn 18 because I can't afford to give to extended family for their entire lives. 18 is an appropriate cut off age.

Spell check; Cheap chocolate eggs

Well, no, because then she could say "But Older Sister got Eggs till she was 23"!

So it seems perfectly reasonable to me!

At 18 no I wouldn’t consider it outright bad manners but I completely agree it would be nice if she thought of her aunt and got her a small egg if she knew she’d see her on Easter.

Eggs for everyone in my opinion! I gave one to a bus driver this year.

I think 18 is even a bit too old, they are likely to have a part time or holiday job at 16 so I'd pick 16. DS has found it awkward to be treated like a child since then.

This is bonkers OP…. Of course a 13 yo and an 18 yo are going to have different ’rules’ such as aging out of Easter Eggs. It’s normal and age appropriate. I’m guessing you allow the 18 yo more freedoms than you do the 13 yo? Well with that comes giving up some things… like family Easter Eggs.

Maybe a box of chocolate for both you and older DD could have been nice?

But being furious is such a massive reaction. For many people Easter celebrations with eggs are for children. Acting entitled because of a cheap egg that DD18 may not even want, is very silly.

I would never have the nerve to be this spiteful!

You don't know what spiteful means do you ?

It i perfectly reasonable for your SIL to decide that eater egg giving stops at 18. This was the cut off point for me and my friends regarding gifts for kids.

I’m going to go to the shops in a bit and get one for older DD and pretend it’s from SIL!

please don't do this your DD is not a baby, allow her the dignity and courtesy of being given the opportunity to behave like an adult, otherwise she will grow up to be silly, immature, entitled and unable to cope with the most trivial of imagined slights.

That's because at the minute they're still little girls.
We're you hurt at the cut off age of 16?

Ridiculous to be furious over this.
Did your older daughter even notice or care?
I wouldn't given a 2nd thought over an Easter egg at 18. Had other things to do.

There are plenty of things to be angry over, this isn't one of them.