In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

[spotlightq]

Husband and I have been married for 7 years, together 9. I have been a vegetarian the entire time.

Every time we come here to eat, I'll be offered/given something containing meat. I have to then feel rude and say no thank you.

For example yesterday the peas were ready prepared with mint and bloody pancetta. My plate was dished up for me, so I ended up having to leave a load of food on my plate. It looks rude from my side, but I think it's rude of them.

How hard is it!

Anyone who gives a vegetarian child haribos is a bit thick frankly.

Although that one does sometimes on how strict they are. But you’d always assume not.

It is surprising how few sweets are vegetarian though. I’ve trawled through trying to find them on a few occasions.

For anyone that is interested the best trick is to buy own brand. Laces and ribbons often are, things like the jelly eggs and mixed bags rarely are. I have found every supermarket carries at least one vegetarian type in the three for 40p type section. Refresher and wham bars so look for packs that have them. Also all the sherberty based sweets like lovehearts and refresher lollies and many of the lollies are a safe bet. I just buy a pack of them as they keep all year round and do for all seasons, birthdays, end of school, Halloween etc.

The added bonus of course being anything vegetarian is also halal, kosher and ok for Hindus.

If they did that to me after all that time I would order a take away on Just Eat.

@spotlightq I can't understand why you are not all sitting at the table and being offered food for your plate at the start of the mean (which you say yes or no to). Why are they assuming that everyone at the table has everything? Surely when the meal is served and they offer peas you can say no?

Obviously they shouldn't be offering you non-vegetarian food - but surely they don't just hand everyone an identical plate of food without asking what to put on it?

I’d say this exactly how a good proportion of people serve food. Plated up.

even to their guests?

Yes. This is perfectly normal.

Op explained that the food is dished up for her

so if you serve a meal to guests plated up without checking what they would like first (or how much), is it seen as rude if they don't eat it all because either it's too much and it will be wasted or there are bits they can't stand? Under normal circumstances I mean - not when a vegetarian has been served peas with bacon in.

Not in my house it isn't. Unless the food was a one item dish like macaroni cheese or at a push chilli and rice or shepherd's pie. I wouldn't put accompanying vegetables on plates. They'd be on the table for guests to help themselves.

Well, that’s your house. The fact that you don’t do it doesn’t mean plating up isn’t normal.

It’s a common practice - happens in many houses. Obviously it’s not universal and many others use serving dishes at the table.

Does that cover it?

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle but OPs ILs don't do the same as you 🤷‍♀️ !

Your wording is rather impolite and vegetarians are just fussy eaters. . Vegetarians don't eat meat for a range of health, environmental, ethical, religious or economic reasons.