In-laws still serve me food they know I don't like

[spotlightq]

Husband and I have been married for 7 years, together 9. I have been a vegetarian the entire time.

Every time we come here to eat, I'll be offered/given something containing meat. I have to then feel rude and say no thank you.

For example yesterday the peas were ready prepared with mint and bloody pancetta. My plate was dished up for me, so I ended up having to leave a load of food on my plate. It looks rude from my side, but I think it's rude of them.

How hard is it!

just don't bother

*Why should they accommodate her?

Being vegetarian is being fussy, reason is irrelevant. Vegetarians are no more morally superior than any other fussy eater.*

Who said they were morally superior and why is such nonsense always trotted out by people who think leaving out meat is so hard when there are plenty of dishes that people eat that are naturally vegetarian. People who can’t go without meat for a single meal and make it out as a hardship are more fussy and ridiculous imo.

Do you cook meat into every dish you have?

I could see an odd mistake here and there like serving something with gelatin in by accident but deliberately putting meat in the veg? Come on that's just deliberate. I wouldn't worry about bring rude if I were you.

Yes it’s one thing to not want to eat meat. It’s another to prima donna flounce off to “ favourite” food.

That only creates a tug of war between two sides being unreasonable.

Why can't you do that? Of course you can.

If feeding me food I didn't want or like was repeated behaviour I'd have no problem leaving to get food elsewhere.

What's ridiculous about it? Or are you determined to be a martyr.

Stop letting them control you! Fade them out slowly, decrease the number of times you eat there, and if you do have a meal there take your own. So what if they are upset? They don't seem to care about you do they?

This is rubbish. What oil do you think Italians use for patate al forno?. The smoke point of refined olive oil is well over 200°C.

Have you considered taking your own food in Tupperware and if they ask what you’re doing, say “I’ve brought my own because you’re incapable of following a simple request”. Adding “you fucknuts” at the end of that sentence is optional.

Yeah, they really don't like you and serving food they know that you have a problem with is a gift to them. There is no right way to respond unless you capitulate. Then they win. You lose if you don't capitulate so they win either way.

eat what you're given and don't be fussy 😯 How fucking rude! If you spoke to me like that in my home you'd be told to leave

@CloudsUnderwater I'm allergic to meat. I am most definitely NOT being fussy

@toomanyy Your DH sounds terrified of you

Why, because he ensures I have food at his family’s meals?

I do the same for him at my family’s.

Where did OP say she made her own potatoes today!?!?

They control you with their moods because you allow it. Put your foot down!

As someone who has a lot of food allergies I take my own!!
I then make a point of putting it in the fridge or cooking it when I am there. I would even take my air fryer if they complained there was no cooking space!!!

this.

I'd be bringing some food. Easy enough to stage it as contributing.

Why pander to this nonsense?

I'd bring my own food, under the guise of "something for us all to share", "as I know it must be hard to cater for me being vegetarian".

It is not difficult to cook a meal which is meat free. It's only "hard" if you're all or any of lazy, thick, small minded, petty and insular.

Horrible in laws. I'm so sorry @spotlightq that's disgusting.

yes it's not hard,
yes IL are dicks for not catering to OP
Yes I'd be fed up of never getting to eat at an IL event,

not pandering to it for them, I'm bringing my own food so I get to eat, after all, OP stated she wasn't going to stop going to events, they have already brought it up to death... so it's the only thing to do if they want to eat.

Sorry to be clear, I agree bringing own food would appear to be the only answer. But don't pander to their idiocy by pretending it's "hard to cater for vegetarians".

(Unless that can be conveyed dripping with sarcasm)

Upthread - have a look at her posts.