DS’s friend killed his hamster

[HamsterAccident]

To cut a long story short DS’s friend came round and held DS’s hamster, hamster nipped him (didn’t draw blood, but I’m sure it was a shock obviously), and friend flung hamster across the room, she landed on her back and died a little later.

DS is absolutely distraught and has vowed to cut friend out his life completely. They are year 6 age.

Any advice on how to manage this? I have reiterated that it was an accident but also I do blame myself as this friend is known to sometimes aggressively overreact with sibling so in hindsight I shouldn’t have let him hold her.

DS doesn’t have many friends so I feel really sad about the loss of this friendship, but I also see his point that even knowing it wasn’t intentional, it’s a hard thing to get over.

Sorry, but I have literally never in my life been hurt by anything and EXTENDED my arm or whatever limb in response??
Always ever inward.

Stubbed toe? Cradle toe.
Arm caught on door handle? Immediately bring arm close into body and rub.
Hit shin? Bring in leg to rub shin.
Hand bitten by cat? Pull away and rub hand.
Fallen over and hurt leg? Again retract and rub.
Hand bitten by dog? Pull away.
Lunged at by spider? Retreat backward.
Dived by seagull? Dodge away.

I've genuinely never seen an extension reaction be the immediate response in other people either honestly unless they have legitimate anger issues (ie my dad hitting his head on something and proceeding to punch said inanimate object or kicking a cat for attacking his leg).

Normalising that type of response seems utterly bizarre to me honestly.

Why is everyone ignoring the fact it's cruel to let your children pass around a scared little animal?

Never trust someone who has no compassion for animals.

This child is not the least bit distressed or upset about hurting a living being. Today he might just be a little boy killing hamsters, but he will likely end up being a bully throughout secondary school, and a thug towards other people that he has relationships and friendships with.

End all contact with these people.

Twice I've had this reaction, once to an earwig bite- the earwig was attached to my finger and I flung out my hand (I was probably 10 or 11). The other was to a cat bite: I was so surprised that the cat would bite me, (naively, I was 7ish) that I flung out my hand in shock and screamed.

The outrage on this thread is unbelievable.
The forensic analysis on a hamster’s untimely demise is most amusing.

Do you realise how strange, cold and lacking in empathy your responses are?

Christ on a bike - so now the child is a monster for deadnaming the rodent? It bit him, he got a fright which had very unfortunate consequences. He didn't stamp on its head for fun! If the hamster was so precious then why let kids handle it?

Agree

Did you get up from where you were sitting first before flinging the (unattached) animals across the room?

You didn't let her get hurt. You could not have predicted this child's action.

Read all the OP posts. She's already explained this was not the case.

Yeah, he got a fright and resorted to violence. That's the point people are making. He didn't react in defence. He acted in anger.

That is horrible, it’s animal cruelty and I personally wouldn’t want the friend back around my house.

I think you need to support your son in a blarsay kind of way, you don’t want him making a big thing about it. I’m sure it will pass over but I would make very clear this friend is to no longer go near any of his other or future pets.

Yes both times I was sitting (in the garden lawn for earwig and Aunt's sitting room for cat) and jumped up immediately in fright/ shock.

How do you know it wasn't? She could focus on this and offer to get another hamster as some small recompense at the same time.

noticed today my passport is a bit damaged mainly concerned of the rip at the back meant to be going away in 2 weeks . Passport is 7 years old didn’t even realise will this be accepted at airport please ? Flying to Spain

Flying or flung ?

Did the hamster cause the damage?
This changes everything.

If you were sitting down and were startled by a bite the instinctive reaction would be to let it drop to the floor, not to stand up while still holding it and then throw it. It wasn’t a reactive action, it sounds deliberate, as though he wanted to punish the hamster for the bite.

Yes exactly. His response is anger and revenge. Not someone I'd want around my child. Support your son to never see this kid again.

Sorry but if it was me or my child who was bitten it would have been up in the air. If it was my child & he did the same there's no way I'd have blamed him. Sorry Op lots of opinions here but mine is you handed hamster to child. Hamster bit child. Child reacted Hamster died.
Terrible situation, nobody guilty, purely unfortunate.

Support your sons decision. He's learning to set his boundaries here and that's a good thing, don't discourage this at all esp before he goes to secondary.

@Brawcolli was it really an accident as ge was sitting down then stood up and threw rhe hamster across the room? That's WAY more aggressive than a "flick". Have you read all the OP posts?

Seems you have the same problem as the kid on this thread.

What’s that problem? A startle reflex?

Violence or reflex action?