DS’s friend killed his hamster

[HamsterAccident]

To cut a long story short DS’s friend came round and held DS’s hamster, hamster nipped him (didn’t draw blood, but I’m sure it was a shock obviously), and friend flung hamster across the room, she landed on her back and died a little later.

DS is absolutely distraught and has vowed to cut friend out his life completely. They are year 6 age.

Any advice on how to manage this? I have reiterated that it was an accident but also I do blame myself as this friend is known to sometimes aggressively overreact with sibling so in hindsight I shouldn’t have let him hold her.

DS doesn’t have many friends so I feel really sad about the loss of this friendship, but I also see his point that even knowing it wasn’t intentional, it’s a hard thing to get over.

This has been answered in OP's posts. The kid is aggressive to his sibling. He didn't get bitten hard, there was no broken skin, nothing like the bit-to-the-bone situations others are describing. He said "The fucking thing bit me" when he flung her across the room. He expressed no remorse at all. This is not some sweet innocent little child who made a mistake.

This, exactly this!!
Listen to Primrose OP, and listen to your son!

This little psycho would be getting nowhere near my house ever again. At 11 he is well old enough to be trusted handling a hamster for gods sake. It’s NOT your fault OP. And yes it’s a shame for your son but honestly he doesn’t need friends like this. Also I’d be telling the parent about his swearing too. Not that I think she will care.

It was "flung" - as stated in the first paragraph of the OP.

Flung means thrown. Flung: "throw or hurl forcefully"
HTH.

WTF has Jesus got to do with this? The hamster (very sadly) is dead and will not rise again - get a grip or stop being facetious. OP my honest view is that I would not let that child/family near mine again - even if it was an accident which I suspect it was the later conversations show a lack of empathy and understanding. Stick by your DC and their reading of the situation.

@primroseteapot totally agree.

Fling suggests a rotational element, one which would have occurred, you would think, if the child moved his hand rapidly away after the bite. Throwing suggests a more secondary and thought our action. I think this is the nub of the issue.

People on this thread need calm down ffs. He's a kid who got bitten and out of shock threw the hamster. It's not like he went out of his way to hurt the pet. Jesus wept!

If I were his mother I would be groveling for forgiveness and coming down like a ton of bricks on my son. Her attitude oh can I buy a new one is just as bad as his lack of remorse.

Does it really matter, a hamster is dead because of what the little shit did to it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Hamsters are the worst pets ever. Nocturnal and bitey and they always meet a sticky end. Sorry no advice just a rant about how shit hamsters are as pets!

Nah. Purposely and forcefully threw it and killed it. Something wrong with kids who hurt animals and show no remorse.

What's the point of a forum if there are people trying to police what you can post about? Get a grip!

Yes it matters, as one is an involuntary reaction to pain, in which case he is innocent and shouldn't be punished in any way, and the other is a more thought out action, in which case it's a more serious matter.

The parent was present to witness it!

A beloved pet is dead. You are just being a dick now.

Why do you insist on trying to minimise this, when the OP has been quite clear it was deliberate and angry?!

He also reduced the hamster to a "thing". Not a hamster. Not her name. He referred to a living creature as a "fucking thing".

For the fucking umpteenth time, this poster came back and apologised! Let it go!!!

Reviewing all OP's posts it's always a "fling" mentioned. To me this suggests involuntary reaction to pain, without purpose. Unless OP can clarify further.

It doesn't sound like he threw the hamster in anger as punishment, more like he shook the thing that bit him off. I think it's quite understandable if very unfortunate.

Then the mix of emotions between being sorry you've hurt (not killed at that point) a living thing Vs getting angry you were bitten and not feeling at fault for reacting instinctively is quite complex for an 11yo to handle.

Erm, he did!!!

Yikes, but overall true ime. Guinea pugs or rats are probably more suited to being pets.

I didn't see anything in OP's posts to say that.

Unforgivable! What a nasty thing to do - I would sever all ties with this child immediately! As if he was throwing a piece of toast or something - this was a living creature and a dearly loved pet - who through his violent action has taken a loved pet from its family!