DS’s friend killed his hamster

[HamsterAccident]

To cut a long story short DS’s friend came round and held DS’s hamster, hamster nipped him (didn’t draw blood, but I’m sure it was a shock obviously), and friend flung hamster across the room, she landed on her back and died a little later.

DS is absolutely distraught and has vowed to cut friend out his life completely. They are year 6 age.

Any advice on how to manage this? I have reiterated that it was an accident but also I do blame myself as this friend is known to sometimes aggressively overreact with sibling so in hindsight I shouldn’t have let him hold her.

DS doesn’t have many friends so I feel really sad about the loss of this friendship, but I also see his point that even knowing it wasn’t intentional, it’s a hard thing to get over.

You need to respect your sons way of dealing with this. This is a truly awful and shocking thing to have happened. He must be very upset and saying he's never going to speak to the boy again is a way of feeling he is 'honouring' the importance of his pet, while feeling he is doing something to regain control of this situation. I wouldn't push him on it now. It's possible that in time he may view things differently and change his mind. A lot will depend on the character of the other child in general.

Some of the things people on this thread are saying are absolutely wild. It’s turning into satire now!

Good luck OP!

I can forgive him throwing it by reflex but to not care about it dying is unforgivable. He is not a good child 😭

Your posts on this thread are utterly ridiculous. Sometimes I can't believe that people like you exist.

Poor hamster

My two year old got nipped by a rabbit he was petting at a farm park this weekend and managed not to fling it across the room. It's not even a slightly normal reaction for anyone, pets or no pets. I'm so sorry for you and your son.

This poster has now apologised. It's a long thread but they've apologised twice.

I once broke the egg of my friend's pet bird. I was so upset I cried and hid. I felt physically sick with guilt. I was 5 or 6. I remember it so clearly because it was such a horrible experience. 11!

Admittedly yes - I had no idea he even had a tortoise and before I realised what had happened there was this poor animal belly up on the bedsheets wondering who this mad bitch was that yeeted him! Apparently his name was Shelldon Cooper but I got straight in there and Bazinga'd him right off the bat.

@HamsterAccident The number of people on this thread, on a parenting forum, that can't read and understand that Year 6 contains children aged 10 & 11 years old is amazing. Perhaps they ought to enrol in year 6 to learn a spot of comprehension

The friend sounds like a horror.
Poor little hamster. What a horrible, painful , scary way for her to die. DS must be devastated.
Pets are not toys for children to pass around in play. They are living creatures.

What a little shit.

Your DS is right and you should absolutely support him cutting this little psychopath in the making out.

Poor hamster.

Honestly, the child’s reaction to this impulse is most telling. I wouldn’t want someone like that around my children, so I think your son is being sensible.

Better to find out now what this boy is like now than in the future teen years when impulsive behaviour has the potential to be even more destructive

I too think it could have been a shock/reflex action but as @Apollo365 did the child should under normal circumstances feel terrible despite it being an accident.

It's the kind of thing that I know would happen to me if bitten by a small furry things or birds so I make sure I don't handle them.

Sheep, dogs etc I'm fine.

I adore my hamster.

Kids reaction is appalling and concerning. HIs parents reaction is too - how the f do you just 'replace' a hamster???

Cut them both off. Poor hamster and your poor son.

Was his mum in the room at the time, too? If so it would be her responsibility to warn him, not yours.

Frankly I'd be glad if my child didn't have anything to do with him again. With the way he responds and the language he uses, he's not going to improve any time soon.

11 years old and no remorse for killing a living, breathing creature? What a nasty child.

There’s no way a four month old hamster could have nipped in any way that was noticeable to anyone tbh. They barely have teeth at that age FFS

Keep your child away from that other child and its family.

The kid and the mum would be dead to me after that.

Are 11 year olds allowed to swear now?

I wouldn’t want my DC to be friends with a kid like this.

Good for your son, I say. He sounds very kind.

Hmm my daughter had a hamster and I have to say it filled me with irrational fear and so I can understand to an extent that being bitten would have made the child want to get it off him. Without seeing the incident I couldn’t really say but yes he may have panicked.

Don’t teach your son to bottle his feelings or go against his instincts. Don’t teach him cruelty is ok, and don’t make him lower his standards to salvage a relationship.

Poor little hammy 🙁

I got a right (blood drawing) fanging from a friend's hamster at younger than this child's age and just handed the thing back vowing never to hold it (or any other) again.

Never occurred to me to chuck it across the room. That's not a normal reaction.

Give it a rest - the poster reflected, and apologised!! Fair play!

It sounds to me like the child reacted out of shock. You said he 'flung' his arm and the animal went flying. It's not like he picked it up and threw it across the room. As the animal had not died before they left we don't know how the child has reacted to the animal dying.

Animals are not toys and should be handled with care and children who are not familiar or feel comfortable should be gradually introduced.

I'm sorry op that your hamster has died.

I can assure you that's exactly what happened. I was a teenager, had taken the hamster to the vet myself and sadly was in the room to see it happen. The vet didn't react 'insanely' it was an instantaneous thing and a complete accident.