AIBU that my husband refuses to apologise for being dead drunk?

[Oliverlouise81]

Last night my hubby went to the pub while I stayed home with dd. Fine. But he rolled in at almost 3 am, totally sloshed and crashed on the beanbag in the living room. He knows I find this behaviour upsetting. I told him this morning that I was upset with him and it would be nice of him to apologise but all I got was that 'you want me to say sorry for having fun?'
He used to do this periodically when we were dating but hasn't for a while but I still don't think its acceptable at all. What also pissed me off is that when I was talking about it he tried to turn it back to my irritating habits!

I'm not trying to say he can't go out alone and get a bit merry but I do object to him being that hammered.

You sound very controlling OP

He's not drunk all the time as you mentioned. I'm not a fan of drinking too but this won't bother me unless there's a backstory

@Oliverlouise81

No he doesn't.

being 'upset & offended' at someone doing something harmless is your issue to deal with.

he didn't come home shouting, unruly or demanding sex. He came home & slept downstairs. If sleeping downstairs offends you, that's your problem to deal with.

I agree @IWasAimingForTheSky - glad I'm not in any of these relationships!

@Oliverlouise81

this OP. What exactly is your issue??

I'd love to hear people's responses in real life when OP tells them she was frightened upset and offended that he slept on a bean bag.

Could you imagine a thread where a woman posted thar she was being emotionally punished cause she got pissed and slept on a bean bag and people coming along to say how immature she was and how he must be so frightened?!

I feel so sorry for the guy, can't even go out and have fun :(

I live with someone who does this sort of thing on a regular basis.
It's not the drinking per se, it's being useless the next day and hanging around like a sack of spuds, while you have to look after the child and do everything.

Generally selfishness and lack of equality in a relationship.
YANBU.

Ignore the shrews.

OP - its really not crime of the century. If this was a weekly occurrence I'd be fucking livid but a one off whereby the only thing he did was crash out asleep?

I couldn't get worked up about it.

I could, however, take delight in making lots of noise today

@Thepeopleversuswork

You think getting bladdered is fun. I don’t. I recognise people have a right to do it but I think it’s boring, selfish and undignified and honestly I think people who feel the need to do this when they have small children have a problem.”

even if the kids aren’t there? Why?

@Crunchymum I'm not a cool mum
I'm just not controlling and emotionally abusive demanding apologies for doing nothing wrong. I would argue OP is the selfish one.

Agree if it happens reguarly, but the OP said its not very often. We can still have fun as adults cant we?

Anyone who gets that drunk is a waste of space

Yes of course.
Does this happen regularly OP?

I go out and have drinks but I know full well that I have to be in a fit state to care for my DD the next day.
Be interested to know if the OPs husband is compos mentos today.

Looks like I'm a waste of space then 🤣

Given Ops flair for storytelling egged on by her peers on this thread I imagine he's fine.

But why? Personally I don't like getting drunk but those who do, what is wrong with it? As long as they are not hurting anyone what is so bad? Maybe its their escape, to let go once in a while. Not a waste of space !

You sound hard work.

There are several drinkers on this thread and I have yet to see them insult anybody.

The non drinkers on the other hand...

i know right!

what so frightening about it?! @Crunchymum

Drunk and zonked out on a bean bag sounds pretty un horrible to me!

@Prinnny 'is it just for easter' 😭😭😭

NOONE would actually in real life be upset and frightened about their partner coming home pissed and sleeping on a big bag

I have to ask how your husband behaves when drunk?
Is he quiet and just flops to sleep or is he loud and makes a nuisance of himself?
If it's the latter I understand why the OP doesn't like it, even if it's infrequent.

Op said I. A comment hidden further up he pees in the room and it frightens her. Strangely enough not mentioned in the OP or subsequently.

But then I'm a waste of space, apparently as is anybody else who dares to drink 🤣