To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

[Medsy]

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

@ChedderGorgeous

There is sexual tension oozing through that dialogue.

No wonder his wife was cross.

But he got the sandwich first. Anyone would think the man snatched it out of her hands.

Did op ever say how this ended? Did she
get Into a shouting match with his wife or did she just walk away (sans sandwich).

You wanna share in the picnic park? 🤣

Ah what a happy ending…

the sandwich would have to go three ways to include his wife of course but they could have all supplemented with Pringles and op could have told them all about the philosophy of vegetarianism over their third of a sandwich. 😊

Balls to that - regardless of chivalry it’s my sandwich! 😅

Asking was he a vegetarian was unacceptable. His motivation for his choice was none of your business.

Asking "fancy doing a swop?" would have been acceptable.

Because it’s nice to be nice! And sometimes you pick something up because it’s the easiest option (i.e. I don’t like sandwiches but sometimes I’m time poor and it’s a quick fix) The maddest thing about all of these responses is how offended some people are by the OP asking someone if they wouldn’t mind swapping a sandwich. She’s been called all sorts. That’s the ‘maddest thing here’ 👀

Are you for real?
Does this man NEED to be a vegetarian to purchase a cheese sandwich?? He can buy what he wants! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

You could have gone halves with the man!😂😂

@Enigma52 maybe the wife was worried they were going to fall in love over a shared sandwich

Wow. I am vegan and think you were being very entitled to ask for the sandwich. It is also odd that as a vegetarian you would ask someone to eat meat so you could have the cheese. In that situation I would be glad to see someone make a veggie choice and would find something else to eat.

She wants just talking to them though. She was questioning them and implied her needs were greater than his.

Yes if only we had had a few more rude and self-centred vegetarians. I voted Remain.

No thanks, I'm not splitting anything with a stranger. I don't know what their hygiene is like. Now maybe if I'm the only one to handle the sandwich. I'll split sandwiches with family members and friends, not strangers. That would be even weirder to suggest than asking if they didn't mind swapping sandwiches.

You would split it at the point of purchase rather than taking an alternate bite each I think. Most sandwiches would already be split in half so there wouldn't be a hygiene issue.

Nobody in their right mind would agree to share a sandwich they've chosen with a complete stranger because said stranger wouldn't accept that they were too late.
You seem desperate to convince people that this is a normal thing to do. Why?

Yes, split the sandwich. It would be like the judgement of King Solomon. Whoever did not want to split the sandwich, clearly loved it the most and would be rewarded by being able to claim it all for themselves.

I would love a nice smoked King Solomon sandwich. Plenty of cream cheese on mine please !

Ew, no thanks. Sandwich halves come together, next to each other, touching. It's impossible not to touch the other half when fishing out the first half. For all I know they've been to the bathroom and not washed their hands, or picked their nose while driving, or something. I don't want anything handled by someone I don't know or trust in that way.

That beside the fact it's just plan weird to negotiate splitting a sandwich with someone, especially if they've already chosen it. Besides, OP wouldn't negotiate that as she'd have to split for half a meat sandwich to make up a whole sandwich in this scenario.

I'll just give them the sandwich so I can get away from the person who appears to be not quite right.

In terms of genuine Assertiveness, it was okay for you to make your request politely with your reason for asking. You could have added that you would understand if he did not want to accept, and you would need to have genuinelymeant that.
It was - in genuine Asserttiveness terms - okay for him to refuse.

What would have turned your request away from Assertion and into Aggression is likely to have been the way you asked. The words you used or the tone of your voice might have implied that implied that he ought to agree or that your need was worth more than his. We are so stressed and hurried these days that we find it hard not to do this and so our exchanges spiral into anger very easily. It is making the social world increasingly unpleasant. The woman in your story was quite simply was aggressive in her intervention.

Come to think of it, what is the etiquette for when some random woman sidles up to your husband at the chiller cabinet and breathes huskily into his ear:…?

’you look like a man who likes meat’

’What kind of a wife makes you buy packaged sandwiches. Doesn’t she know that THIS is a supermarket where bread and cheese are freely available to be bought separately?’

’Let’s crouch down here and take alternative bites while chewing the claggy mixture alluringly at each other with our mouths wide open’.

’Would you mind if I had the last vegetarian one’.

It's not all of us, I promise!

Personally, I wouldn't have minded being asked. It probably wouldn't have occurred to me that I was taking the last veggie sandwich, and even if I'd realised I might not have left it if you hadn't asked (as it could well just have gone to the next cheese-loving omnivore). But there are usually several sandwich options I'd be equally happy with, and I pick on a whim pretty much at random.

How on earth did you get there from someone not wanting to swap sandwiches with you? Lol. I voted remain and you're ridiculous.

We hy do you think your deciding to be a vegetarian means you should have first choice always of vegetarian food? Most people in my experience who are not vegetarian also have vegetarian food on occasion, and are as entitled to it as you.