I hate our holiday and want to go home

[Backwoods57]

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

Maybe next time you can spend a few days with MIL and then move on to do more of what you want to do?

Come back for a week next time. Maybe spend another week in France - would your MIL drive there with you and rent a house in the countryside?

There are loads of lovely areas to visit round there - get yourself out to Alice Holt Forest, Frensham Ponds or the New Forest

Why not get out and do something for the last 3 days then?

Oh I'd definitely be arranging to go somewhere nicer with MIL each time you come over. Rent a cottage somewhere nice.

My uncle emigrated to the Southern USA. He used to pay for my grandmother to go and visit every few years via a transatlantic liner and Greyhound bus. Is such a thing possible these days?

Come to the uk and spend it in aldershot - what did you expect?

I realise you’ve already spent a lot of money but could you get MIL to pack a bag so you can all go to a tourist place for a few days?

Oh honey I am so sorry you're that position. It's so horrible to spend your hard earned money on pleasing everyone but yourself. I totally feel for you - duty visits are never fun at the best of times. I haven't got any advice but I wanted to let you know you've been heard and seen.

So did you plan to do anything other than stay in their house for 13 days?

I do feel for you, that's bad enough after 2 days but using all your PTO is so painful. Get out on a trip!

Surely there are nicer places around you that you can visit while you're here? Why are you spending your days stuck in your SIL house?

we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.
Any destination is awful if you spend it like this. Why didn’t you make plans? Get out and do something!!

I’m sure it’s dull, but fgs, go out and do something.

Btw, we have a holiday house in the USA and our tap water there is vile and bleachy. We never drink it and love the tap water at home in England!

It's really on you to plan your holidays better!

There's plenty to do in the UK or close by in Europe. You've chosen to spend it in your SIL's house. Don't blame MIL/SIL for the choices you've made.

Within a couple of hours you could be in London, the Cotswolds, the South Coast and/or New Forest, see Stonehenge or Avebury....go on, get up- what are you waiting for?!

This is a good idea. Make it a holiday for her too? Rent a cottage in the Lake District, somewhere on the coast or all get on the train together to France next time? It isn't her fault you live so far away. But I would only make it every other year for a visit from now on. Every year is too much of a commitment and doesn't give you chance to explore your own country.

Ha I used to fly from the states to visit Farnham too! Aldershot is a dump but avoid there and it’s pretty nice?! Go to Waitrose, buy a crate of Evian if the water bothers you so much (couldn’t taste the difference personally) then why not go Alice Holt, hire bikes get your nature fix then go for dinner and a drink somewhere nice in Farnham.

Mate, you've gone on holiday to Aldershot, that's never going to be an optimal choice.

Catch a train to London and hqve a few days there.
Failing to prepare is preparing to fail and all that - next time, have an itinerary and be firm with mil.

So far we have visited Whipsnade, Woking, Windsor Fleet and Guildford. We can't go anywhere without SiL because she does the driving. We have to be back every day because we have to collect her kids from school.

It seems very unfair that you have to spend two thirds of your vacation allowance doing these miserable visits every single year, just because MIL wants you to. How does your husband feel about it?
If she's so desperate to see her grandchildren can't she work on her fear of flying so that she can come to you every 2 years? If you paid for her flight it would be much cheaper than all of you going to the UK.
Why 2 weeks each time, isn't a week or 10 days enough? I can't imagine your SIL is delighted to host you all for 2 weeks if she doesn't have much space.
This all sounds like something that pleases MIL and nobody else. The rest of the family matter too.

Still a nice part of the world. Could you rent a car? Winchester not far for a spot of walking about and coffee, just for an afternoon.

Marwell zoo for the kids?

bit shit if it’s raining but leisure centres, there a few climbing walls and maybe a trip to the coast near the new forest or even just a drive around the coast?

You don't need to drive - we have trains and Uber here in the UK. Set yourself free.

Schools are shut now for the Easter weekend at least, so you're free. Jump on the train. Go to absolutely anywhere and look for a nice big park!

Are there no trains there? Plenty of options for days out