I hate our holiday and want to go home

[Backwoods57]

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

I think you've fulfilled your MIL duty and I personally would only be visiting every 3-5 years from now on

She can FaceTime the grandchildren

She's lucky you've visited once a year

If she wants to see you more often then she'll have to sort out her fear of flying

I personally wouldn't be putting myself through the ordeal year after year

Fuck that

This is just your shit planning. A train to York would not cost that had you planned ahead, there's nothing wrong with the water, you can use a bus, and don't agree to day trips to fucking Woking 🤣🤣

Or try somewhere else in the UK. Have the kids seen stonehenge? Wales has some lovely places and some (all?) museums and things are free there. London? Swanage - lots of fossil hunting to do round there.

@Backwoods57 i feel for you. That sounds really difficult

next time you could plan better, airbnb, rental car etc and that alone will give you some freedom

i live near Fleet and have been in a couple of times in the last few weeks. First time for years tbh that I’ve spent any time there.

I was so shocked at the shopping centre there, more closed shops than open. There was an elderly couple in the lift and as I was leaving they commented to me about how shocked they were at how desolate the place was.

Ooh yes Portsmouth is great for kids

I don’t blame you. You are not able to make the most of your annual leave.

We have the opposite problem. In-laws live in Florida (nowhere near anything fun). The house is big and flash, so DH & PIL think we should want to go there. There’s nowhere to go, no paths to walk along, no shops, nothing. We are just stuck in a house for the pleasure of spending £3k. DS was just turned 5 when we went. They didn’t cater for him at all. The whole time was miserable. DH likes to go fishing for a day or two, so I got MIL to drop me and DS off at a mall so I could buy him a McDonalds and ice cream.

They refuse to visit the UK because it’s too cold. I refuse to use up half my annual leave for them again.

We looked at York for trip and did find it expensive - did day trip on a holiday in Scarborough in end but do want to go again.

There do seem to be plenty of options nearish or do-able by train for OP though.

In future I’d be making this trip every 2 years, not every year, and only stay with MIL for a week, the second week either somewhere else in the UK or head over to maybe Italy/Spain etc for a chill week in the sun.

Sorry but this.

Come every 2 years and with the money you save go elsewhere in the uk or Europe. Your holiday sounds shit and that's not fair if you can't afford to do stuff when you get here. Kindly though, you sound a bit passive. I can't see why you don't go to free museums etc in London.

You can't travel halfway across the world without a healthy spending budget! Hire car a must for a few days out eg Winchester, New Forest, south coast, Legoland. Train in and out of London, galleries, museums etc. A few days in France. You are in a great location where all that is doable. Poor sil!

Maybe next year your hubby can go on his own?

You have been visiting every year for 10 years. What did you do on previous visits? You must know the area well by now. I'm confused why this is all a surprise to you.

Why should you travel because he doesn't want to travel with little kids?

Maybe he takes one DC back next time, easier for both of you.

Any either cough up and have a good time, hire a car, etc. or suffer, it's really your choice.

You still have a few days left. Look up trains to London tomorrow. Go out for the day. Don't just sit there and complain how boring it is, do something about it.

How about a cruise next time? Your mil could go from Southampton and you could pick up the ship in Europe? Probably either come for a week, 10 days max next time.

This is like that thread about the teenagers who can’t do ANYTHING and the OP has no interests or ability to just do something. Advocate for yourself, OP, and do whatever it is you actually think looks good or interesting. You’re just being a martyr and only pissing yourself off.

There are loads of free things to do in London and early Spring in Southern England is glorious - all the leaves and flowers are just emerging.

Jesus rent a car!!!!

and get an air bnb or stay in a lodge in the new forest or something….

also I’d only be doing once every 2 years and offering to pay for flights for the other year.

Hire a car?
My cousin and family comes back every 2 yrs. They hire a car, spend a few days with each set of grandparents and arrange big family meet ups during those days, and do a day out with close family...then move to next place. Then if they have time they go to Europe or a destination city for a few days before going home.

Your holiday sounds like when I used to visit my grandparents up north in a small ex-mining town....we only used to stay 3 nights.

In fact I have just looked up the trains on google for you. In 75 minutes you could be in central London. There really is no reason to sit there and wait for someone to take you places.

Reading
Windsor
London...!!

Thorpe park

Certainly would only want to come every 2-3 years. I would rather stay in the US and explore

It might be worth getting a family rail card next time as it makes train travel miles cheaper. Can get a digital one online same day and don’t have to prove you live in the Uk.