AIMB to embrace the grey?

[DyddDewiSant]

I'm 57 this year. My natural hair colour is very dark brown, but I started going grey years ago and have always dyed it. I've had enough and have decided to embrace the grey! My hair is short and I've almost grown out the dye now, I'm getting used to it and rather like it.........but I've had some very strange reactions from some people who are horrified!!!
Have you embraced the grey? How did you find people reacted?

BigBarm that is a really beautiful colour it looks so rich with real depth.

I am about 50:50 and although I use purple conditioner it doesn’t look as good as that, I think I need some sort of purple rinse to tone it down.

I'm 52 and ditched the dye 9 years ago (with support of MNetters OK some said I would instantly look ancient and I should not do it ).
Yes, the grey probably makes me 100% look 52 in age. I will not be mistaken for a 30 year old. But as a PP said, I am not sure different colour hair would make me look younger either.

I have had zero regrets for stopping dyeing. Not one in 9 years.

I have had saved ££££ and hours of tedium getting it dyed, dying it myself, thinking about when to dye it, worrying if my roots were showing.
I have had numerous compliments about the colour.

A before (2015) and after (today)

Mostly people's reactions have been positive. Who has been horrified @DyddDewiSant? Is it people who also currently dye their hair?

Don't forget, you can always change your mind again.

I'm 54 and grew out the dye over lockdown - I'm really happy that I did. No longer trapped in the cycle of root regrowth, it only ever looked perfect for about 2 weeks. I love not having the hassle and the expense! I also detest the double-standards whereby women have to eternally try to look younger than their actual age. I'm 54, so what's the problem with looking 54? It's very white at the front, with various shades as you go further back. And I have a dark streak at the front which I love. I get lots of compliments from other women - a young woman working in a carpet shop admired it today, and it led to a good conversation around expectations on women and being brave enough to be yourself.

Thank you 🥰
The toner my hairdresser uses is the shade ‘pearl grey’. And I’ve been using L’Oreal Professional silver shampoo/conditioner at home recently.

I embraced it at 43 due to developing a dye allergy. I get loads of compliments too.

@chopornot your hair looks fine grey, and it's a fairly cute and stylish look, but I have to say, you do look about 7-8 years younger on the pics where you hair is mid brown. (And I think the mid brown looks a bit better. JMO.)

I have to say also that I don't understand the people saying they get lots of compliments on their grey hair. Are random people really stopping and saying 'hey, your grey hair looks really nice?!'

And if it's people you know, are you sure they're not just saying it to be kind - if you 'embrace the grey...?' (Like when people knock 5-7 years off when guessing someone's age?) I can honestly say, I have never seen anyone look better with grey hair than they did with it dyed blonde or brown. Many people will look OK, but not better, and they will almost always look older than they did before they went grey.

JMO.

Glad I stopped dyeing, I still miss my dark shiny hair but this is healthier and easier to deal with

Some people can ditch the dye and can really carry it off. I can’t, I looked terrible during lockdown. Re compliments, I have to be honest, if I bump into an acquaintance who has gone grey I tend to feel a bit startled and try and cover it up by saying “ your hair looks lovely” when I’m not sure if that’s entirely true. However, each to their own and having your roots done is a hassle but for me it’s worth it as I do it for myself and it just makes me feel better

I was 9 years younger.....

The pics of chopornot with brown hair are from 2015, 9 years ago - you think she looks 7-8 years younger so I think that’s good going!

Re the compliments thing - I’ve had strangers tell me they love my hair colour (they never did it before). I think it’s genuine - one woman wanted my hairdressers number and she is now one of his regulars and has also embraced the grey!

And yes, weirdly, I have had several absolute strangers in the street/shops say they love the colour of my hair...apropos of nothing.

I had to go grey when I moved interstate and wouldn't be able to get mate's rates at a hairdresser anymore. Didn't like it - I'd been colouring it for decades. But once the transitional colour had grown out I got used to it, and then found (courtesy of a friend with the most gorgeous grey hair) Fudge Clean Blonde shampoo to kill off any brassy tones and give it a hint of mauve. I have thick, shoulder length wavy/slightly curly hair, and have had more compliments since going grey than in my life. So yes, do it!

Pretty much what I was saying. I saw a woman recently who I used to live next to a few years ago, and she had always had darkish brown hair (was a natural brunette/dark brown eyes etc,) and she looked about 45 with the dark brown hair. (I never knew her age just guessing.)

When I saw her a few months ago, her hair was light grey all over, and I thought it made her look 15 years older. She legit looked 58-60. I was stunned. (I discovered not long ago that she was actually 53!) The grey aged her terribly.

I could not bring myself to say it looked good, because I didn't think it did. I said nothing. If she had always had hair that colour since I met her (met her 10 years ago,) that would have been one thing, but the suddenly change was dramatic. I can't see how - or why - anyone would compliment her, unless as you say/I said, the person was shocked and just wanted to be kind.

None of these photos are convincing me, but I do admire the bravery and no fucks given.

I missed that bit! That will be why you looked 8-9 years younger then!

As a pp said, all the grey ladies on these pics look fine, but no WAY am I ever doing it. I am staying blonde. Each to their own.

Yes, and you may have to change the colour anyway if you've had it very dark, or it looks too harsh against your skin. I did that after my long years of dyeing it black, before stopping dyeing it at all.

I'm 41 and have been going grey for a long time (at least 18ish years). As I had naturally blonde hair it wasn't very noticeable until my blonde hair started getting a bit darker. I did highlights, the full colour until 6 years ago when I started trying to go lighter without bleach (my hair is very long and my hairdresser wouldn't bleach it). Then just before covid i started toning it grey which I LOVED! I stopped having it dyed completely. My hair grows pretty fast and my 'roots' are almost gone. I'm far too lazy to go back to the maintenance colouring it requires.

The front is almost white and it gets greyer the further back it goes. I'll be much happier when it's all white (I assume it will eventually all go white based on the front) as I don't love the sort of browny/grey that the back is! I use a lot if purple shampoo and conditioner so it has a vaguely lilac tinge.

It's been an adjustment in terms of the make up and clothes I wear though as without make up I do feel like I look about 100 🤣

I get soooo many compliments on it though! I think it's still unusual for someone my age to be grey naturally so it does draw attention.

My mum made a few vague comments originally. But she doesn't anymore.

I tend to pop up on these threads. Started going grey at 19, stopped dying at 37. Never had as many compliments from randoms on my hair as I have done since giving up the dye. So not just family and friends, but people on the street, stopping me purely to comment on the colour of my hair. I’m 41 now and haven’t looked back. Does it make me look older. Maybe. I dunno. Doesn’t make me look younger. But I can’t afford a dye job every week which is literally the only way I could keep any kind of colour looking good.

My advice is to go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? You hate it and dye it again. In the meantime you get a break from that relentless cycle of of having one week of nice hair, before the greys starting to come through again. That relaxing feeling of not wondering my roots are showing every time I catch myself in a mirror is priceless.

@SewingIsMySuperPower My sister and I have the weird not-going-grey section at the back too! A horizontal band that's more or less kept its original colour. She's seventy and I'm sixty and we use the purple shampoo too.

What a ridiculous comment. Women with grey hair don't look more washed out than men with grey hair, as with men, they just look like women of their age with grey hair.
Talk about double standards.

As other posters have said, let's see some photos of all these women criticising other women for having grey hair, let's see if they really do look years younger than their age, better than grey haired women, less washed out, less lazy and more bothered about themselves, let's see the proof.

I don't think long grey hair looks good.. can be nice on short though

Osmo purple shampoo - buy it on Amazon. I don't use it every wash but it really brightens my gray up.

Maybe sometimes but I know a couple of women with long grey hair & both look fantastic.

No it doesn’t. Getting old makes you look older. People with grey hair who dye it to disguise the grey are fooling no one. We all know it’s dyed. We all know you’re getting older!

I’m 50 this year, I have long, natural gingery brown hair which is greying pretty rapidly these days. Still at the stage where it looks like highlights but definitely taking over.

I haven’t dyed my hair in at least 20 years, I’ve no plans to start now.

I hate this narrative that it ages women, it makes us look washed out etc….I am me, I look like me. A fatter, older version of myself from 20 years ago maybe but still me🤷‍♀️ No big surprise that I don’t look the same as when I was younger. Thankfully I don’t feel the same either, I’m so much more confident in who I am that I don’t care to keep up with beauty ideals that used to feel important years ago.