Husband won’t allow hearing to go above 16.

[C6H12O6]

Live up north in an old stone house with single glazed windows upstairs. Central heating powered by oil, 2 open fires. That’s what heats the house. The last week or so I’ve come down in the morning and the temperature has been 13 degrees. If I put the heating on (which is capped at 16) I’ll notice that half an hour later he’s turned it off. When questioned he cites we are low on oil.

For info I buy the logs and the oil (around £350 a month for oil and £100 a month for logs). I also pay the electric and water and food shopping plus my own diesel for the car. I tend to buy all things for our child. He pays rent, council tax, insurance, car services (and repairs). He earns twice what I do.

I’m full of cold at the moment with an awful cough and so went to put the heating on (currently 14 degrees) and he’s switched it off again. I’m fuming.

AIBU?

You need to get your boiler and tank looked at, that's an insane amount of oil you're getting through! We have our oil heating on full whack 24/7 for half the year (and heating just the water for the other half) and only buy 1000l about once a year, if that.

And you need to talk to your husband, 16 degrees is far too cold for a house, it'll be damaging the house as well as your health. 18 is the bare minimum but around 20 is recommended as optimal

Might just be OP pays husband the money requested and he 'takes care of it'.

This nonsense about amounts of oil people should or shouldn’t be using - it’s all about the size and kind of house.

when we first moved in here our oil was 1000 L a month. OH was moaning until I pointed out that him walking around in t shirts at the weekends, turning the heating up as a result was what was behind it. “Oh, so if I put a jumper on it would be cheaper?”

“Erm yes, of course.”

Heating bill is a lot less now. We use the fireplaces as well especially as we’re both WFH and home all day. My friend gave me an electric throw too as a Christmas gift, those things are incredible when you’re working and your feet/legs get chilly

@C6H12O6 should not be cold in her home. Her H has no business turning the heating off if she’s put it on, she’s not a child.

you can get a watchman thing to keep an eye on the oil level, it’s linked to a monitor you plug in and it gives a level. @C6H12O6 I think your H is being controlling and lying to you about the oil. you need to get the power back in your life.

HI op. Been thinking about your log usage as well. Wouldn't it be cost effective to buy a big load of logs rather than dribs and drabs. A trailer full of logs is loads cheaper per ton! And again cheaper in summer. ( essentially after a good summer gale)! If you get logs green you can dry them in log shed over summer and should be ready in a season ( or 2) so well worth the investment!

You say your DH likes the country life but he doesn't seem very clued up on it! We spend a lot of summer finding and storing wood ' hoarding in a way. We like it cause its that nice feeling of preparing for next winter ( and winter after that). Its the same mentality with the oil.

Are you able to ask for a wood stove to be installed they pump out so much more heat than an open fire.

My living room is currently 16 degrees and I'm OK with it but if I was cold I would light fire. DH once got us exercising and doing star jumps when we were running out of oil and feeling cold. But keeping active does help as i have reynards.

I think you need to discuss how to prepare for next winter together. And that might help for it to not get too personal and argument about thermostat.

Those costs are way high.

We live in a large house with oil for heat and water and we pay approx £100 per month into a “boiler juice” type payment scheme. We probably refill the tank (1000 litre) three times a year max and it comes out of the payment scheme.

We have our heating on all night, set at 19 degrees, and daily showers, baths a few times a week. Use the log burner during the day, to keep costs a bit lower, but switch heating on if one of us is using a different part of the house.

We buy kiln dried logs by the pallet for a couple of hundred quid. Have one delivery late summer when it tends to be cheaper and then another one usually part way through winter. We’re just running out again now and considering one more delivery as it’s still chilly.

Aside from the issue with your DH, I’d fix the base problem which is you seem to be vastly overspending.

Could you show me where I said I couldn’t afford the oil?

Horses - this is our exercise. Some people pay for gym membership, personal trainers, online subscriptions. We have the horses. They get us all outside, all exercising and teaches our child about caring for an animal and responsibilities. Our child has friends through the horses, a whole support system of friends for us all as we don’t have any close family. But thanks for your blinkered and bigoted stereotyping regarding horse ownership.

Private school - not entering a debate about this as it’s not the point of the thread. The reasons are many and varied and we go without other things in order to do so.

Re logs - I buy a big dumpy bag at a time as that’s all I have space for storing them. We’ve done various things over the year. Even used to have a licence to Kielder Forest for collecting felled trees, bringing them home and sawing/chopping them is ourselves. No time for that now.

We only have open fires so they burn through logs a lot quicker than a wood burner.

I think you need a metal tamper proof box cover with a key for the heating controls. Only YOU have the key 😉

Recently I listened to an interview from a uni professor about the effects of the cold.

I was really surprised when he said that the negative health effects kick in at 14 degrees. That is cold enough to be harmful to your health.

I’ll see if I can link it.

@C6H12O6 are your horses kept on your rental property?

I think you have remained amazingly calm about this @C6H12O6
I would be losing it if I paid for the heating and the logs and was still cold!
You say DH is not controlling but turning off heating when you have already said you are uncomfortable and need to be warm is very controlling.
I don't know much about the costs of oil compared to heating but I know it is much more expensive. Even so, if you are paying you should be warm enough.

Her husband does pay the lions share of the overheads to be honest. I'd let her have the heating on, and buy more oil.

The tenancy may seem expensive but if it includes acreage for the horses and shelter then it's a bargain. If they're rural there's always trees coming down. We pay £45 a ton get four tons at a time for chunks of trees but you need a chainsaw, log splitter to turn them into stackable logs. Our log splitter is shared between three households.

There's a lot of bartering of labour in our village

I feel your pain OP - we live in an old stone house and had oil heating which could be astronomical!! I appreciate you are in rented accommodation and also you are listed building which has its own limitations. But...if you are thinking of staying for the long haul, could you consider replacing your open fires with woodburning/pellet burner stove plus an eco fan. Much more efficient and they can be linked to the hot water system. Also could you consider paying for loft insulation? Or secondary glazing? I know it's money spent on a building you don't own but you may recoup the money quite quickly given how much you're spending!!
Also there have been a lot of oil thefts in our rural area, check it cant happen to you!!