I don’t want to do this any more :(

Drowwning · 2024-03-30T02:01:48+00:00

Up all night, on all day. I just can’t do it. There are lovely moments and I do love them but I had no idea the level of relentlessness coming for me.

NoSquirrels · 30/03/2024 02:05

Ah, I’m sorry. Small kids really can be relentless. Are you on your own, or csn a partner give you a shift?

Domino20 · 30/03/2024 02:06

Sympathy. It's absolutely shit. I used to have full on fantasies about selling my kid on ebay.

TyneTeas · 30/03/2024 02:09

It does honestly get better, although I know it can be hard to feel that is true

How old are they?

WishesPromised · 30/03/2024 02:10

You're not alone. I used to dream of a serious illness for the bed rest.

Original poster

Drowwning · 30/03/2024 02:15

I’m hoping he will tomorrow morning.
the thing is when I get up when it all just starts all over

OP posts:

TyneTeas · 30/03/2024 02:16

Bad sleep is the hardest.

Given it is 2am I guess you are up with them now?

I used to have the craziest thoughts in the small hours

Is it just you or do you have support?

Again, even if it doesn't feel like it now, it does get better

Original poster

Drowwning · 30/03/2024 02:20

Thank you, they are 3 and 9 months.

The 3 year old is just so fucking obnoxious. I know it’s the age and he isn’t like that all the time but I’m so so fed up of it. There’s a big floor mat similar to this in the lounge for the baby and the 3 year old just keeps taking it up all day every day it’s doing my head in. Arguments about this and tantrums about that. The baby is lovely but doesn’t sleep and poos constantly and needs 1000 changes of clothes in an average day. Arghhh.

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OP posts:

susiedaisy1912 · 30/03/2024 03:24

It's hard op. I remember the exhaustion and I kept wishing their lives away at that age. I just kept thinking it will be better when he's at nursery, it will be better when he can walk etc. it's ok to find it completely overwhelming. But this won't last forever. It will pass. Try your ask for help and support where you can.

HungryandIknowit · 30/03/2024 06:38

I hope the 3 year old is at nursery a few days a week, for your sake! Sleep is the killer; get your other half to look after the 3 year old overnight if you are breastfeeding. Otherwise take it in turns. It gradually gets easier I promise! Btw I'd think about putting the mat in your or a friend's loft for a while to make life easier.

Vettrianofan · 30/03/2024 06:41

Still like this six years on....you have my sympathy. DS will be 7yo later this year and still up 5am most mornings!!

PurpleFlower1983 · 30/03/2024 06:47

It’s hard OP and thankless much of the time. It does get easier though, my kids are 5 and 2.5 and things are starting to get easier. ❤️

NonPlayerCharacter · 30/03/2024 06:48

I remember this.

Survival mode. Keep them alive, it's ok not to do wonderfully educational things all the time and have a bit too much screen time sometimes. Get as much support as you can, I always found it easier if I had another adult there; they could at least watch the toddler while I changed the baby. Do you have a partner? They MUST do their share, it's not negotiable.

I promise it passes. Hang in there.

Theedgeoftheabyss · 30/03/2024 06:48

It's crap, isn't it. People need to share this reality more often. I nearly went insane with mine. They're now 5 and harder in a different way.

NonPlayerCharacter · 30/03/2024 06:52

And see the GP if you think you might have PND. I swear I think it's often caused by the sleep deprivation.

imgonnalooseit · 30/03/2024 06:55

Do you have support OP? It's very heard my mum takes mine once a month over night to get a break that even one day full nights sleep makes all the difference. Hope you're okay🌸 x

Gummybear23 · 30/03/2024 06:55

It is so hard.
Even as they get older.
There will be other worries.
Never ends.
There are joys too.
But overall hardwork.
Not surprised many are deciding not to gave children. Selfless act.

VivaVivaa · 30/03/2024 06:55

Are you me? Same aged DC. The 3 yo is difficult by day and the baby is difficult by night. My eldest goes to a school pre school and is off for the next 2 weeks and I’m dreading it. You are not alone xx

Therealmetherealme · 30/03/2024 07:09

It is hard, people wonder why 3 yr olds are given screens, this is why!

Make everything as easy as possible.

Toy box for 3 yr old, rotate the toys and have them ready first thing. Same with snacks.

Changing mat downstairs and a pile of clothes. Simple clothes, colours that can be washed easily.

Something you can put the baby in, so your son can get an hours attention,a jumper is perfect.

There are lists of calming kids cartoons on line, there's no harm in a bit of screen time.

Plan easy lunches that you can eat too.

You will survive x

Have days where you go out but also days where you stay home.

Therealmetherealme · 30/03/2024 07:10

Therealmetherealme · 30/03/2024 07:09

It is hard, people wonder why 3 yr olds are given screens, this is why!

Make everything as easy as possible.

Toy box for 3 yr old, rotate the toys and have them ready first thing. Same with snacks.

Changing mat downstairs and a pile of clothes. Simple clothes, colours that can be washed easily.

Something you can put the baby in, so your son can get an hours attention,a jumper is perfect.

There are lists of calming kids cartoons on line, there's no harm in a bit of screen time.

Plan easy lunches that you can eat too.

You will survive x

Have days where you go out but also days where you stay home.

Meant to say Jumperoo not jumper!

EspressoMacchiato · 30/03/2024 07:12

Gummybear23 · 30/03/2024 06:55

It is so hard.
Even as they get older.
There will be other worries.
Never ends.
There are joys too.
But overall hardwork.
Not surprised many are deciding not to gave children. Selfless act.

Edited

I concur.

Love my DD but hated every minute of being mother and the relentlessness, boredom and lack of freedom.

If I could redo my life, I wouldn’t have had her.

Just letting you know that it’s ok to hate it.

Sunnnybunny72 · 30/03/2024 07:28

We had a 2.5 year gap. This bit was crap so I outsourced it. DC went to nursery at four and five months and I went back to work pt.
It truly saved me. Regular time away from them both.
By the time they were in primary school it was downhill all the way.
20 years on and never a single regret.

Original poster

Drowwning · 30/03/2024 08:55

VivaVivaa · 30/03/2024 06:55

Are you me? Same aged DC. The 3 yo is difficult by day and the baby is difficult by night. My eldest goes to a school pre school and is off for the next 2 weeks and I’m dreading it. You are not alone xx

This is like me … he does go to a preschool but two weeks off and I’m dreading it. I feel awful saying that but he’s so rude, selective hearing (you know the old give them a choice thing he just ignores me) he tries ro be unkind to the baby constantly.

The baby won’t sleep in the cot and I’m going to try that again this weekend. DH isn’t massively supportive in some ways, well meaning but … and I’m breaking 😭

OP posts:

Chikky123 · 30/03/2024 09:03

Therealmetherealme · 30/03/2024 07:09

It is hard, people wonder why 3 yr olds are given screens, this is why!

Make everything as easy as possible.

Toy box for 3 yr old, rotate the toys and have them ready first thing. Same with snacks.

Changing mat downstairs and a pile of clothes. Simple clothes, colours that can be washed easily.

Something you can put the baby in, so your son can get an hours attention,a jumper is perfect.

There are lists of calming kids cartoons on line, there's no harm in a bit of screen time.

Plan easy lunches that you can eat too.

You will survive x

Have days where you go out but also days where you stay home.

That's lovely warm supportive advice. :)

TheMoth · 30/03/2024 09:12

I'm a way off this now, but remember those days vividly. Never being able to relax fully. Always feeling strung out. Never able to make more than 1 person happy at a time. Always being touched by someone. Baby basically lived in a song cos it was the only way to keep her calm. Took tears for my back and hips to feel right again. I used to fantasise about taking my money and just leaving. Starting again somewhere else with no kids.

But it really does go quicker than you think and you'll sometimes wake up early and be able to sit in absolute peace, while everyone else is asleep. They will leave you alone cos they have mates to see. They will be able to tidy up after themselves and make you a cup of tea.

tillylula · 30/03/2024 09:15

Same. I have 3 - 4yo, almost 3, and 7 months.
Dad is unsupportive, sleeps in every day, even work days. Naps in the day. On his computer in spare time from finishing work til bedtime (2am most days). Doesn't help with anything. I have asked for help in his week off over easter and he made it all about him - how he's tired, no one respects him because "he can't sleep in", if he feels less tired and allowed to sleep in he will help more. I'm tired, feeling unappreciated and at the end of my tether. House is a mess always. I'm not asking for much, just he help with the kids.. After dinner, bath time ect.

Sorry for using this to rant.