Cheeky Fckers

[thisisasurvivor]

I had a work trip on mon and Tue

Tue was a 12 hour day and was up since 4 working

My friend text at 9.30pm to let me know she needed to drop her soon uo at 8am
The next fcking day to be looked after

I text back that I was not even home yet

She didn't respond

7.40am next day knock on door
She dropped her son off

I was so angry/tired/ bewildered to go bat shit

SHE DIDNT TEXT AFTER TO EVEN SAY SORRY OR TO THANK me

I'm so done with letting this shit happen

Sorry I just need to vent

Next time she asks I need a firm response

No doesn't seem to work as she has been known to come up anyway and say she has no one

I'm a single parent and I work from home

She has dropped her kids to me many times while I work from home

Fcking cheek

She has many sister in laws who can step in wt f is she still as this utter shit

She is an unbelievably CF and I would just have to do all the responses - comment on Instagram, ring restaurant, ring Social Services because my rage would be incandescent at this point.

Unbelievable.

I agree

And this is where I have made the mistake so many times

Wtf is this all about

Fear of offending ??

She offends me so much

I summer I had her kids quite a bit
One boy who is wonderful but has high needs tested me so badly
He got out of our house and was missing for a few minutes
I was out of control with fear/anxiety

Took days to get over it
He was hiding in shed
But I had so much to do that day
Door was locked and he found key

Why the Fck did i entertain her again
I should have said never ever in a million years

There was always then the odd favour repaid here and there so that 'covered her' cfckery you could say 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄😮

What I find fascinating is that in both the case of the OP and the OPs sister, the unwillingness to "upset" the mother. It staggers me that she has that power. OP, your sister has agency here. She has the power. She can do a number of perfectly reasonable things to get the mother to return sooner to pick her children up.

I'll be amazed if she turns up at 3.

I know

I agree

Re calling social services
They won't care though
It won't meet the threshold will it?
Could always ask for it to be logged?

I'm just to angry to think straight

And yes I agree we lost the power to stop this so many times

Ffs

Will keep you updated

She is annoyed but not going to say anything today
She can't commit to taking them again

But she will won't she?

You mentioned that your sister knew what happened to you and had already been stung in the past herself, but then claimed she "can't believe" the one hour turned into a 3pm pickup today, which makes no sense at all

Unless you're actually enjoying getting all wound up about the CFery why not just say no?

Oh yes!! Absolutely she should. She’s got nothing to lose AT ALL. And she needs to get it done before the cf’s brunch buddies all go their separate ways because you can almost guarantee that cf’s friends will have been tagged in her post so will also get all the (constant…”what, it posted multiple times? So sorry…” blah blah) notifications and this would be so much more shocking and embarrassing for her then it ever could be if she was on her own!! Her friends know. They must do.

I'd call an uber with a large car and deliver them to her or their dad. And make it VERY clear that she will never watch them again after yet another massive entitled piss-take.

Backbones needed here!

She won’t be done by 3, she’ll be pissed and just getting started. Fuck!
Hope your sister is so pissed off the answer will always be NO

Another banking it will be more like 5.

I know. !!

I don't enjoy it

Assertiveness was never our forte

I think we always hoped the favours would be 100 per cent repaid

They have not

My sister is taking them all to the party
She text me cousin that they would struggle to make it he organised two lifts for them
Party I think starts soon for 2-3 hours

Anyway will update re pick up time

If the party is a drop and go then your sister needs to leave the kids there with no intention of picking them up and tell your sister they need collecting and she won’t be having the kids anymore. Hopefully she’ll be late and ashamed of herself in front of the kid’s parents. If not is there anyone in the family who she would be embarrassed about knowing how shite she is? For instance, like her husband’s parents? Your sister could drop the kids there and then go out and turn her phone off. Your sister may feel embarrassed when she has to explain to someone else what’s happened, when they’ve already been told by your sister it was supposed to be an hour and she went for brunch instead and this is a regular occurrence.

So very true

I'm texting her now to say what I would do

Drop to party
Text c f and say the need to be picked up from there

If she can't my sis should text cf parents as it's a total piss fcking take

My cousin was like wtaf is she at
No surprises though it seems

I agree with DSis dropping at the party and texting CF to pick up, but then both of you need to block her number. I'm sure if she can't get hold of DSis, she'll call you looking for her. I would just be sure that the hostess has CF's phone number as I'm sure she'll probably need it.

As far as your DSis being made a mug of, honestly, I think you need to let whatever happens happen Your DSis is an adult and, knowing what a CF the CF is, she allowed the CF to take advantage of her, that's on her. I'm sure you told her what a CF she's been to you alongside her own experience with her. DSis is going to have to learn her own lesson, just as you have. I'd probably have a big "I warned you/told you so" for my DSis in this situation.

I'm just surprised that after what you've been through with CF, your sister agreed to having the DC at all.

I would refuse to take her child next time unless she handed over/bank transferred everything she owed me.
Then I'd look after them that one time and never again.
She won't pay you what she owes if she knows you won't be providing any more childcare so definitely drop that into conversation after she has paid up, and as others have suggested just keep reminding her what she owes you each time she asks about childcare.

She thought it was for an hour

8-9 am was the text she got yesterday

Now it's 8-3

But they are all at party

So fingers crossed c f commupance will be today

Poor kids
They are lovely kids feel awful for them

All kids at party

Message sent that they are there for pick up as she had said 8-9am not 8-3pm

Text also sent to her mother to explain too what happened

Sis has no response yet

She also asked cousin to call if. Cf doesn't show up

So all areas covered I think

What a fcking waste of brain space too

@thisisasurvivor

I get that she thought it'd be an hour, but based on past behaviour, she should have realized that chances are it wouldn't be. I'm not sure if the UK has Peanuts comics/cartoons but a running 'gag' involves Lucy holding an (American) football on the ground in 'field kick' position and telling Charlie Brown to run and kick it. He knows better than to trust her but inevitably he believes she won't snatch it away and inevitably she does and he lands on his bum. It's kind of the same thing with this CF. You've learnt not to 'kick the football', but your DSis hasn't (yet).

I'm not surprised that DSis hasn't heard from CF. CF won't respond because she's banking on DSis going to get the kids if she doesn't show up, and then pleading ignorance. So if CF doesn't show up and cousin (is the cousin the hostess?) calls DSis, exactly what does DSis plan to do? Is she going to tell Cousin "I'm sorry but nothing I can do" or is she going to cave? DSis let the CF know, she let the CF's mum know. That should have been the end of it as far as DSis' involvement.

They are cheeky but it's ridiculous you e allowed this to happen again and again.

OP I'm glad the woman has backed off you a bit and hope your sister manages to do the same. I'm shocked by some of the CF stories I read on Mumsnet.

There’s a certain type of CF who thinks the whole world owes them child free time, but they don’t have to reciprocate.
Ive encountered a few of these. DD is an only child so I’ve always encouraged and been happy to have friends round. Parents interpret this as, I want them all the time, they never have to do it in return.
I had one who kept pushing me to take her 2 children for a whole weekend so her and DH could have a weekend away. I don’t think it ever occurred to her that’s something I would like. Anyway I went to her in a DIRE emergency, she wouldn’t take DD as ‘she wasn’t in the mood for a play date ’ so I cut her off cold.

Cut her off, she’ll just go looking for someone else, she literally doesn’t care. Better to do this before the summer.

FWIW I wouldn’t want her returning the favour - she doesn’t seem like a safe place for your kids to go anyway?

What time does the party end?