To expect DH to shut the fuck up now?

[Shutupnow111]

I fucked up the other day, I accidentally caused a leak through the bathroom and into downstairs. My bad, I accept it was my fault. This has caused an issue with our electrics not surprisingly and now we have no working lights in the house, just lights everything else fine.

Is it annoying? Yes. The end of the world? No.

I have taken responsibility for this and am already in touch with an electrician and will pay for the repair myself (separate finances) but my GOD will my husband not just drop it?

It's fucking annoying me now. He has to bring it up about 10 times a day, how he's annoyed, how it was stupid, how I'm paying for it (never said I wouldn't?!) Like just shut the fuck up now. It's done and I am sorting it. It was a mistake.

Aibu to expect my husband to shut up now It's getting sorted? I accepted a bit of moaning at first because it's not ideal I understand but Jesus Christ enough now???!

[Shutupnow111]

To clarify we have working lamps, and everything else. It is literally just main ceiling lights but with lamps etc.. we are fine until its repaired.

[Shutupnow111]

Oh and every person we come into contact with must be told about it too

[44PumpLane]

I've voted YABU because, assuming the work has not yet been carried out, the issues caused will be omnipresent so I kind of understand him mentioning or having a bit of a friendly moan.

If he's being a complete bastard about it, berating you or calling you names then I reverse and say YANBU.

But to be honest I'd be somewhat annoyed if my husband caused a load of damage and inconvenience in the house as it would be one more in a long string of things to deal with because of his carelessness!

I wouldn't berate obviously, but I'd probably be mentioning it.

Eta: to be fair id probably tell everyone too.... It's funny!

[BamberBoozlerGrewUp]

I'd have long since passed the point of telling him to shut the fuck up.

[TheBeesKnee]

Does he normally relish an opportunity to berate you?

[IncompleteSenten]

Tell him that unless he's got a time machine he's failed to mention you can't actually undo it and ask him what it is he wants you to do at this point that you have not done.

[springcantcome2soon]

He's a twat

[Shutupnow111]

I kind of understand him mentioning or having a bit of a friendly moan

It's not friendly. He reminds me daily that I'm paying for it and how annoyed he is.

[lotsofpeoplenametheirswords]

Have you told him to shut the fuck up yet? Yawn, tell him he's boring you now. Make a cuckoo noise every time he mentions it.

[Gingernurt88]

YANBU

My husband drilled through a water pipe on New Year's eve and flooded our downstairs. He made a costly mistake. He was upset enough by it, there was no need for me to rub salt in it. A while later he asked why I didn't get angry, it actually never occurred to me to.

[whiskeycats]

YANBU! I always say that there is no point being angry at people for honest mistakes, especially once the person who made the mistake has acknowledged it and apologised! Carrying on having a go at them past that point is just berating and cruel.

[Shutupnow111]

@IncompleteSenten

Tell him that unless he's got a time machine he's failed to mention you can't actually undo it and ask him what it is he wants you to do at this point that you have not done.

I said this last night when I'd had enough. I don't own a pissing time machine so it's done now and I'm sorting it. It's hardly the crime of the century SHUT UP.

It's also not one thing in a long list of things that I've caused by carelessness. It was an honest mistake, one I've never made before!

[Cm19841]

I did this exact same thing a few weeks ago. No it luckily wasn't as bad but basically same scenario.

Husband now never mentions it and was chill. It was a mistake, an accident and fixable.

Not necessary to keep bringing it up. YANBU.

[Mrsttcno1]

If it was weeks ago and it was all sorted then I’d agree he should be done winging about it, if it was literally a few days ago and still unresolved then I’m not surprised he’s still mentioning it

[Shutupnow111]

It annoys me as well how he keeps going on about me being the one to pay for it. Basically said with the suggestion not to expect any assistance from him, financial or otherwise in fixing it. That's fine but it just strikes me as not very partner - like.

I don't actually want or expect him to pay toward it, I have never suggested I won't be the one to. But the way he talks about it just grinds on me.

[Shutupnow111]

@Mrsttcno1

If it was weeks ago and it was all sorted then I’d agree he should be done winging about it, if it was literally a few days ago and still unresolved then I’m not surprised he’s still mentioning it

But what does it achieve? We aren't living in the dark we have lamps and are managing fine. What does going on and on and on and on about it actually accomplish? I can't do anything to change it now and am already doing everything I can to sort it.

[Octomama]

That would drive me absolutely mad. You need to look him in the eye with a very steely look and tell him slowly "it's happened. I've apologised. I'm sorting it. Now fucking get over it."

[purplecorkheart]

Yes, he should shut up. It was an accident, and sadly, accidents happen. He is just making a stressful situation for you a million times worse. His constant complaining isn't going to change anything.

[okthenwhat]

He wants you to feel SHAME and BE SHAMED until he's decided you've been SHAMED enough.

Handling it sensibly and without the appropriate SHAME is not allowed.

(my MIL is like this).

[27Bumblebees]

Not partner like at all. My dh has had some doozies over the years and we laughed then and now because what else can you do? You own it, get it fixed, try to learn from the mistake. Getting cross and mean about it is pointless at best, nasty at worst.

[ElaineRaige]

@TheBeesKnee

Does he normally relish an opportunity to berate you?

Oh here we go. Your husband is a narcissist. Your husband is a gaslighter. Your husband is abusive. LTB. Your husband is a mysogynst. Etc etc etc....

[LittleMissCantBeWrong1]

Did you leave the bath on. Definitely never done that before 😬🫠

[SplendidUtterly]

Walk around the house wailing "SHAME" and ringing a bell like that scene in game of thrones. Your DH is stupid twat and needs to stfu already.

[GinandGingerBeer]

I'd get a notepad out and do a 5 bar gate for every time he mentions it.
Then say nothing just keep adding until he gets the message.
Or a bingo card perhaps.
'I'm not paying'
I'm not helping sort it out'
'I can't believe you did that'

[CRE2024]

Has this been an issue before? What's he like when he makes mistakes?