To expect DH to shut the fuck up now?

[Shutupnow111]

I fucked up the other day, I accidentally caused a leak through the bathroom and into downstairs. My bad, I accept it was my fault. This has caused an issue with our electrics not surprisingly and now we have no working lights in the house, just lights everything else fine.

Is it annoying? Yes. The end of the world? No.

I have taken responsibility for this and am already in touch with an electrician and will pay for the repair myself (separate finances) but my GOD will my husband not just drop it?

It's fucking annoying me now. He has to bring it up about 10 times a day, how he's annoyed, how it was stupid, how I'm paying for it (never said I wouldn't?!) Like just shut the fuck up now. It's done and I am sorting it. It was a mistake.

Aibu to expect my husband to shut up now It's getting sorted? I accepted a bit of moaning at first because it's not ideal I understand but Jesus Christ enough now???!

Read the OP only...

This would piss me right off. To the point where I would lose it and say "What the fuck do you want? I have said it is my fault. I have said I am sorry. I have said I will pay. How much more do you want to drag out of this?!"

ETA I would say "On the day you can say that you have NEVER fucked up, you can slag me off"

I think I would be repeating 'bo-ring!, bo-ring' in a sing song voice every time he mentioned it until he stopped. What a dickhead.

wtf is your problem? Are you a bloke by any chance? So because there literally is
abusive men more than you’d like to realise and accept and so many women come on here to highlight this you think it’s ah it’s all made up? Not another one? Fuck off. He is 100 % berating her…, did you not read the OP? He is 100 % demonstrating punishing behaviour here. If you want to downplay that just because you’re tired of reading about abuse perhaps you’re on the wrong forum ….go read incel weekly or something instead perhaps you’d be more comfortable

Why? To help decide how deserving she is of being berated on repeat?

OP I would absolutely lose my shit if my husband made a situation like that more stressful for me. And especially if he laboured or even mentioned anything about me paying on my own.

Congratulations for being one of the few adults in the room.

It’s a dick head thing more like.

Is that because you also behave the same way if your partner makes a mistake? and you think it's acceptable to keep going on and on about it making them feel like they're a fuck up who deserves to be berated?

No, to see if it’s just a matter of flicking a switch on the fuse box and shutting that idiot up!

Daily? How many days has it been? Multiple days and you still haven't got an electrician to fix it? That would annoy me too.

I think this is one thing that's actually way more likely to be a woman thing than a man thing.

Pretty much ALL other awful behaviour is way more likely to be a 'man thing'. I don't care if people call me a misandrist for that 😂

But when it comes to thinking it's ok to berate a partner for making mistakes or breaking stuff that seems to be mostly a woman thing.

The OP very clearly said that this happened ‘the other day’ and that she has been in touch with an electrician. If it’s a big job, she’ll likely have to wait until he can fit it in. She doesn’t need to be reminded of what she’s done every day in the meantime. If he’s that annoyed he could offer to help out instead of acting like a twat. Accidents happen.

Not a good idea after water damage, until it’s been checked by an electrician. Water conducts electricity and even if the lights work, if there are still live connections which are wet or even still damp, it could start a fire. Safer to leave the power off until they’re sure.

Write a list of every fuck-up he's made and trot out more examples every time he mentions this.

It's time for him to stfu, and I would tell him that too. I would leave the room and completely ignore him every time he does it stop

Ah the alexa is a good idea! Clever!

Has he every damaged something major before ?Sink his battleship with yours everytime he mentions it. He will soon angry .. then you can say ..my point proved. So stop mentioning it.

How did it happen? If you were juggling stuff while looking after kids and water splashed out of the sink that's one thing, but if you were drunk and let the bath overflow, that would be another (worse) thing.

Also, are you minimising it? If DH did that (and failed to apologise) I'd be annoyed and likely to mention it more to show that it really was a problem.

Oh he is being a complete dick.
I'd tell him - firmly - not to bring it up again. You've sorted it. If that didn't help, I don't know what I'd do. I think I'd actually get the ick and it may not come back tbh.

I honestly couldn’t be with someone who behaved this way.

Yet another useless prick making a woman's life harder. Why do people bother being in relationships anymore?

So I (a woman) will confess to having a petty moan from time to time at my husband; you forgot my tea, where’s my cup of tea, HELLO TEA etc. if I am in a terrible mood or trying to be funny. I appreciate this is not nice and trying to do better but just being honest.

but when something major happens I check he’s ok, help make a plan of action, accept it and try to make sure he doesn’t punish himself about it. There’s no need for a pile on. And he does the same for me. As for money - we’d definitely be sharing the cost.

point is when chips are down we are a team. (And if he gets annoyed of my petty whining, I STFU).

It's dickhead behaviour.

You made a mistake. Berating you and huffing about it won't undo the mistake and presumably you've apologised as well as doing all the sorting to rectify it so that's it, case closed.

My partner did something monumentally dense a couple of weeks ago that culminated into something expensive of mine being destroyed. It was an honest mistake/accident, he apologised profusely and will rectify it. Bar a bit of comedic re-living of the escapade on both sides, that's the end of it.

Your husband is being an arsehole.

Have you told him to stop going on?

I was in a situation where someone kept banging on about something I’d done that they felt aggrieved about, I dared to resign! After six meetings and repeated mentions of my heinous crime, I told them to stop. Just stop! This was a man who’d never heard the word no or stop in his life. He did!

I still worked out my notice in fairly awful atmosphere but he stopped banging on about the injustice of my daring to leave! Twat!

Just tell your DH to stop and if you have and he’s still going on, tell him to fuck off.

I'd expect it to be mentioned several times a day until fixed TBH, but in either a practical sense, or occasionally some frustration at a particular inconvenience, or maybe, depending on your relationship, a jokey, "this is sort of funny isn't it really I suppose" kind of sense, as long as nobody found the jokes upsetting or felt they were being got at.

Things like "Ow I stubbed my toe, hope the guy comes round to fix the lights soon", or "Do you know if you left the coffee on the far counter? I tried to have a quick look, but, y'know, lights, lack of", or a reference to the new sexy mood lighting in the living room with an offer to snuggle up, or "Pass me the torch! I'm going to brave the ensuite, send a search party if I'm not back in an hour" — you know, general communication and maybe some crap but hopefully camaraderie-building jokes.

I can't see the point of repeated references to the original cause, or constantly reiterating that you're going to pay for it when you've already said you will (which would really piss me off — it's like calling you a liar, a shirker, and irresponsible, all at once).

Does your home insurance not cover this @op ?