To expect DH to shut the fuck up now?

[Shutupnow111]

I fucked up the other day, I accidentally caused a leak through the bathroom and into downstairs. My bad, I accept it was my fault. This has caused an issue with our electrics not surprisingly and now we have no working lights in the house, just lights everything else fine.

Is it annoying? Yes. The end of the world? No.

I have taken responsibility for this and am already in touch with an electrician and will pay for the repair myself (separate finances) but my GOD will my husband not just drop it?

It's fucking annoying me now. He has to bring it up about 10 times a day, how he's annoyed, how it was stupid, how I'm paying for it (never said I wouldn't?!) Like just shut the fuck up now. It's done and I am sorting it. It was a mistake.

Aibu to expect my husband to shut up now It's getting sorted? I accepted a bit of moaning at first because it's not ideal I understand but Jesus Christ enough now???!

I got into trouble as a child just for having a bath and letting the water out. How else do you get the water out?
The water went through to downstairs, but that was hardly my fault.

Sleep deprivation made me forget about a running tap in the kitchen last week. it ran over, and water filled my kitchen. I was so angry at myself as it ran under our appliances. Nobody does these things on purpose. DH never made me feel bad about it, he got down and helped me dry it all up, said of course it's annoying but these things happen.

PPs have it right, it just makes me feel like I'm not even sorry anymore just annoyed.

I wasn't drunk and let the bath overflow or anything. I had been extremely unwell all week and just stupidly overfilled the bath because I wasn't thinking properly (I was just getting over flu and my heads been like mush for nearly 2 weeks because of it).

We had a conversation last night because he said again he would get over it when he could 'understand what my thought process was'??

What does that even mean when it wasn't intentional? Anyway I've told him in no uncertain terms that enough is enough now.

Write him a sorry note.
Write that you are organising and paying for the repairs and slap that down on the table.
Ask husband to now please stop talking about the lights.
Tell husband that you feel demoralised when he talks about it to others and that he comes across as a cross old husband.
Ask if he can now forgive you?
Ask if he would apreciate you forgiving him in future should he flood the sink,have a car crash etc.

If he starts to speak about it again point to the note and leave his company.
Buy some ear plugs.

I would want to know what his ‘thought process’ was to be still banging on about it.

Hope you're starting to feel better soon OP.
My DH can be a bit of a prick but when I'm ill he offers to run baths for me, tell yours if he'd been a bit more caring this wouldn't have happened 😒 sort of joking.

The other option is to laugh and agree.
Agree that you were sick and not thinking and makelight of it.

Op, you should think about getting a bath with an over flow.
Once the bath is three quarters full the excess water empties down the drain through another tube fromthe outlet hole.

You can also buy very tall plugs that have an overflow down the centre. You fill your bath using the tall plug then swap to a normal plug just before you hop in.

My ex husband hammered a nail through a water pipe in our bedroom when he was redoing the floors. Flooded the dining room, and left me a note on the back door telling me to not go in the affected rooms, and apologising for using all the bath towels. Plumber had fixed the leaks but the ceiling was damaged.

He was so apologetic, saying it was an accident. I was saying, of course it’s an accident, no one, NO ONE, would have done that on purpose, for goodness sake.🙂 Stupid mistake, but not something to keep going on about.

I couldn't live with that, what a petty and unpleasant man. Ask him what the point is of continually whingeing about it other than to shame you, particularly in front of others. I like a PP's idea of a bingo card when he starts on.

Me personally I married Frank Spencer (for those younger than 50 he was the accident prone main character in a 70s sitcom Some Mothers do 'Av' 'Em). I'm so used to his cock ups they barely merit a mention. Just deal with it and move on. Our DC grew up with it so know no different, but when new people, such as my son in law, enter our domestic sphere they are a bit bemused/amused to say the least. Son in law once witnessed a particularly annoying 'accident' of Frank's and looked at me aghast anticipating a reaction. I simply said "now you know why I have the demeanour of a Zen Buddhist", and got on with dealing with the fallout.

Is this an ongoing sort of issue?

Quite frankly that would be a marriage breaker for me. How long does he want to punish you for? How does he not know that accidents happen?

He sounds like a superior arsehole who is actively enjoying making you feel bad.

My son did this the other week. Our downstairs lights started tripping the fuse board. Make sure you give it a good few days to dry out you might find that you don’t actually need to call an electrician in

And FWIW DH did exactly the same thing last month. Forgot he was filling the bath (because he wandered off and did something else) and we had a massive flood in my beloved downstairs cloak room (which has a chandelier!!) and the ceiling has caved in.

I said ' Shit and bugger. Oh well- it was an accident. When can we get a plasterer in?'.

Because I'm fucking normal. And not into berating the person I love for a mistake.

This isn't about the electrics. He is just using this as an excuse to abuse and humiliate you because he is an asshole. You have probably seen this attitude from him in other things over your relationship.

He's being a twat.

Everyone makes mistakes and the people who love us should be the first to drop it.

Have you tried being very blunt? "Thanks dh, do you think you could give it a rest and stop highlighting my mistake to everyone we meet. It was a mistake, don't make out you've never made a mistake in your life. Anyone would think you are almost enjoying making me look bad" followed by a long hard Paddington stare.

I suspect you are usually very competent and he feels a little inadequate, so in a rather ungallant fashion is using this opportunity to boost his own ego.

Yes he should STFU. My DH is the same. Goes on and on if I make a mistake with anything, even though I fix it, but anything he does is excusable. I come from a very pragmatic family, particularly my dad, who just views stuff breaking or people breaking stuff, as part of life. My reaction to what you’ve described is something like ‘oh. well. that sucks. how can we fix it?, whereas my husband freaks out and then talks about it for the next year like it’s realy interesting. Is it just a male thing?? I mean I just think ‘no one died or got hurt, it’s annoying but not a big deal’

Please tell him to fuck off next time he brings it up. You’ve tried telling him politely.

I just tell him for fuck sake shut the fuck up I'm sorting it your being an annoying cunt.

How deeply unpleasant of him. Is this part of a pattern of belittling and verbally abusing you? Call him out on it, he has no right to behave like that.

DH and I have both made mistakes over the years, one or two of them quite costly. We work as a team to sort it, then move on. Some have entered the family store of memories to laugh about later.

@user1492757084 that’s fucking pathetic. It was an accident ffs. OP it’s happened it’ll get sorted he needs to get over it.

Well, you know what to do next time he damages something, OP. Because if he's human, not an angel sent from on high as he seems to think he is, it's unlikely he'll get through life without accidently breaking crockery, scrapping paintwork, dropping something valuable, denting the car etc etc It happens.

I'm currently looking at a lovely 'tide mark' on my living room ceiling, caused by one of my dds recently flooding the shower (she hadn't noticed the drain was blocked). A pain, yes, but did i keep on beyond an initial 'blooming heck dd, how did you not realise?!' - nope. To do so would achieve nothing beyond making her feel small.

Your dh's being unkind, to say the least.

Or he is just a bit of a cunt.
OP I couldn't live with a man like this. He will get worse as he ages.

Only a year mine will go on for decades 🙄

He is absolutely out of order - especially when you are recovering from being ill. It's actually quite cruel.
Wonder if it's something you could claim on house insurance?! Obviously would affect premiums. Not that you plan to but might make him think how reasonable you are being about getting this sorted!
Maybe stop doing anything for him around the house until he shuts up about it!