BF booked surprise trip knowing big birthday bash arranged

[Grumpynan]

Little long winded, so sorry.

little back history, daughter 30 on Easter Saturday, lives with us and her younger sister, moved back home about 18 months ago after a really bad couple of years. Slowly recovered, her health improved and she’s getting her life back and got a new BF about 4 months ago.

last year her birthday was not so good, but made the best of things and tried to make it special for her. About 6 months ago DH and I got talking and decided to book something special this birthday, it is Easter after all, and she’s 30 !. So we booked a lovely cottage in Devon, it’s huge, all her brothers/SIL’S/neices/nephews and 2 of her best friend are coming 12 adults and 6 children !.

so far she knows nothing about it, the plan is for everyone to travel down Friday (tomorrow) and be there when we arrive at lunch time. We will tell her when she gets in from work tonight so she can pack. As far as she’s concerned it’s a quiet Easter as everyone has other plans.

discussed all this with BF a few weeks ago when it was obvious they were getting serious and he will need to be included. Plan with him to arrive tonight to have dinner, bringing his bags with him !.

so this morning he messaged, all good, bags packed and he’s coming straight from work. Wanted to know when everyone would be giving gifts ? I replied probably Saturday morning . He then came back with “ brilliant I’ll try and hold back that long , but I’m so excited I might give her mine tonight 😂 “. I replied, “ sounds intriguing, do I get any clues, or is it a secret? ‘

his reply ——- “ I’ve booked tickets for a show in London she wants to see, it’s on Saturday, so I’ve booked to stay in a posh hotel Saturday night, so we will get to spend the weekend in London and I can really spoil her “

what the f*&%

I asked him about the holiday we’ve arranged and the table we’ve booked for Saturday to celebrate, he knew all the arrangements, and seemed happy with them, I’m just totally bemused.

hes just replied, to say he has it all planned, travel with us tomorrow morning as planned, open presents Saturday morning with the family, then he will whisk her away late Saturday morning for a lovely weekend in London, then see us at home sometime Monday when we come home 🤷🏼‍♀️

I haven’t told the family yet, DH is out until 3 so will tell him then. I just don’t know where to go from here .

sit in the corner and cry, shout and scream at him, just go with it. Whatever happens now, it’s ruined as far as I’m concerned. I know that sounds selfish, god knows what my DD will say, do I tell her what’s planned for the weekend or go along with his changes ?

So it looks like both my daughters are now single 🙄

honestly if it was on tv you wouldn’t believe it 😮, DH has just gone to get a bottle of wine and order pizza, the solve all of all troubles.

it was my youngest who drank the wine, she split up with him, I’m not sorry, and she wasn’t either, he was really messing her arround.

we got to my DD work a little late, traffic and she had already left. I didn’t worry we came home via the bus stop but no sign of her so came straight back.

turns out, he collected her from work, and bought her home, they were walking the dog when we got in, she had left a note not knowing we had been to her work, assumed we were shopping or something. She came in, no BF, sat no throw herself down on the sofa according to DH, and told us he had given her an envelope as an early birthday present. Inside tickets etc, I looked innocent not sure where this was going, she actually laughed and told me she knows we know, she knows about the weekend he had told her when she rejected his present, a present his brothers wife had thrown back at the brother the week before !, apparently he was rather put out that she want a reject present and so told her about our present. Scum bag

so we are all going to eat pizza, drink wine, then pack for the weekend. Apparently the girls are off all men except their dad and possibly their brothers but that depends on what their birthday presents are 😂😂🙄.

honestly you couldn’t make it up.

This is why I don’t do surprises.
I would hate to have anything sprung on me.

For my 50th dh decided to book a surprise trip to Rome. Somewhere I’d always wanted to go. He didn’t think about the fact I have a summer birthday and Rome was like a furnace for 4 days. An Italian friend told him he was mad but apparently my gift had to be on my birthday!
First time I’ve ever fainted from dehydration.

Oh man, that's a hand grenade of a message!

I feel sorry for DD. At her age, I might have loved a dirty weekend in London with a new boyfriend, but it's obviously uncool that he's planned this knowing it clashes with your pre-arranged plans

I'd treat DD like an adult. Tell her your plans. Tell her you're aware BF has planned something different and you're not sure how best to approach it. Hopefully she'll realise that BF's being an idiot

How did she find out it was her boyfriends brothers wife's rejected present?

Cheering! Yay!!!!

God that lad was a dickhead.

What? I’m really confused about what happened after BF collected DD from work.

The update definitely puts him in the “dickhead” category.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend and your daughter is not too upset by the break-up

What a shit! Thank goodness you have such a lovely weekend planned for her. You sound like a lovely family.

Well, that's problem easily solved then.
Bit lost with how it went down (so has she chucked him because of the present? Or has he chucked her in a strop?) but have a great weekend away! Hope the weather improves!

The boyfriend gave her theatre tickets but said “our Tony got these for Debbie but Debbie said she didn’t want to go so happy birthday, we can go instead.”

DD said “Stick your second hand present” and dickhead boyfriend said “yeah? Well, your parents have booked a weekend away with 30 family members so you’ll have to do that instead.” So DD said “fuck off, take the tickets and go with your Tony and don’t come back. I’m going home to get pissed and eat pizza, you nob.”

Happy for u OP sounds great I hope you all have a great time 😍

Good update OP

Hope you have a great weekend

She's had a lucky escape from that one! And at least that all happened today and not in the middle of the weekend. You can now go off and enjoy yourselves uninterrupted.
You all sound like a lovely family. I would be thrilled if my family surprised me with a weekend gathering like this!

So he suspected (knew) you were going to tell her what he had done, so swooped into her work to pre-empt you. And was then 'outraged' his plan didn't work when she rejected the gift that he didn't actually pick out/plan, (his brother did for someone else and she clearly knew that), so he decided to ruin your surprise for her out of petty spite.

Wow.

She's well rid of the narcissistic dickhead. Glad she saw through him.

I guess the trash has taken itself out. Enjoy the wine, the pizza and the weekend!

Excellent result. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend,

I mean that does explain why it had to be this weekend. What a cheaparse.

BF gave his birthday present - trip to London - but turns out he hadn't carefully arranged it all himself. BF's brother had given this to his partner but she had rejected it. DD somehow worked out she was being given someone else's rejected gift so the BF told her about the (surprise) family trip to Devon. DD dumped cheapskate, trouble-making BF.

So he was determined to ruin her birthday surprise either way!
Knob.

Apparently she was there when the brother was telling her BF, took her a minute to work out the connection, but was rather hurt that he would gift her a second hand gift, that’s how she sees it anyway. He got the strop and said he had paid his brother for them so it wasn’t a freebie, but if that wasn’t good enough for her then he would find someone else to take. I’m just glad after the time she’s had, she can laugh it off, I’ll be keeping a close eye on her though.

poor DH is feeling rather out numbered tonight, 😂😂, and has decided that sons are definitely easier than daughters 😂

This is exactly why I rarely agree with this type of 'surprise' celebration when it involves whole weekends. If it's a gathering for a few hours it can usually work out ok. When it's a whole weekend there's always something or someone who will let the side down. Having said that on this occasion I'd tell my daughter everything, including the boyfriends surprise, then let her decide what to do.

To be honest this is a huge red flag and very concerning. I wouldnt be keeping this secret

I think you're of an era when you did precis and comprehension in school, aren't you?! It's really paid off!

Perfect 😂

oh just read the update, really happy about that 😂what an arse