For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

Because they don’t want to go through labour and like the idea of a C-section. You could argue why would someone ever go through labour when they could plan a nice section (considering the majority of people are fine after and most women don’t want 6 kids).

Also the majority of women do want to try a vaginal birth. The ones that don’t often have very strong reasons for why they don’t. This is the age of modern medicine. Give women a choice with their bodies thanks.

@Lelophants

’a nice section’ is major surgery it isn’t getting your nails done or a haircut.

Yes if it is planned you go in and it’s done within a few hours. But you have to go through a 6wk-3month recovery. Some saying 10days but that is not norm and even if you are up and about you are rarely pain free! Then there are the risks and negative health impacts.

Not worth it in my view, but as I said each to their own and if there is a medical need due to physical or mental health or health of baby of course it’s the right option.

None of his business. He doesn't get to chose what happens to her body.

ETA: There's no such answer as this type of birth will be more/less painful, easier/harder, truamtic/fine. Its very individual, not just to the woman but can vary a lot between babies. My first birth was an emergency c-section. It was traumatic, the mental recovery was hard, the physical not so much. One of my friend's who had a vaginal birth took a lot longer to recover from her first, but second birth was a lot easier for her. Another friend had a very straightforward vaginal birth. I didn't find physical recovery from any of my c-sections problematic. My first birth it wasn't the c-section that was traumatic it was the bit before that and not knowing if DD would make it. That c-section was a hell of a lot easier than the natural bits that came before it. My mother had 3 very easy straightforward home births, I never managed to get past the very early stages of birth. There's too many possibilities and too many variables. If she only feels comfortable with a c-section that's what she should push for.

You see to have an unbalanced agenda here regard painful CS and months of post op recovery. That isn’t a universal experience. At all

Women should have all balanced information to make an informed choice, discussed with the team looking after them

unfortunately birth has become very politicised and competitive. Insidious notions of what is a good birth or a vaginal birth is somehow better. These notions don’t address individual preferences and frequently there is a unbalanced discussion which emphasises risk and danger.

NICE guideline are women can chose a CS. Lets encourage choice and dissemination of balanced good advice for women

But there is tonnes of evidence showing that there are long recovery periods and lasting injury for vaginal birth too.

Do you know what

From NICE, everyone read at leisure, make up your own mind.

https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng192/resources/appendix-a-benefits-and-risks-of-vaginal-and-caesarean-birth-pdf-9074971693

I had a planned section. Within 6 weeks I was physically fully recovered and felt great. I 3 friends who had vaginal delivery all of whom needed physiotherapy and other assistance after birth, one who was extremely unwell. In fact of all the people I know who have had children, the ones who had planned section recovered faster and had less complications than the ones who had vaginal birth. I only know one person who had a straightforward vaginal delivery with no issues after.

Individual preference is very important. My mum almost died giving birth to me due to my size and ds was also forecast to be a bigger baby (turned out he was average enough) and it made me extremely anxious about the idea of a vaginal birth. The presence of adrenaline and stress related hormones we know can slow labour, increase perceptions of pain and make it more difficult for the mum. It's important that women feel supported and safe in whatever way they decide to bring their child into the world.

Basically

For VB you are more likely to have urinary and faecal incontinence, vaginal tearing and pain with birth.

For CS you have a greater chance of peripartum hysterectomy, death, longer hospital stay, placenta accreta, uterine rupture and neonatal fatality, asthma, childhood obesity.

Otherwise similar.

I had a c section due to preeclampsia. Planned 24 hours before as I was only 34 weeks pregnant and they didn't want to risk me trying to be induced. Just as well as I delivered a baby vaginally after this that I lost at 20 weeks and it took me 4 days and I got an infection. Recovery from the c section was fine. Painful for a few days but I was up and about moving gently pretty quickly. I still have a scar but who cares it's not like I'm showing my belly every day. Healed really well. I only get overhang when I need to lose weight

I'd chose a c section again for sure

🤣🤣🤣🤣
At the very idea that he thinks he can have any say at all over your body!

Oh bore off with " pay for elective CS.

I had an elective CS, it was suggested I might need one but not essential. I was 31 then. I next saw a doctor in my early 60s. GP remarked on my almost empty file that "we don't see much of you, do we?" . I' m a non-smoking, virtually non drinking, higher rate tax payer then and now. None of that background is particularly relevant but if it matters to you (general you or you in particular) I've paid far more in tax and NI than the cost of one CS over 30 years ago.

People use the NHS for all sorts of things and some people think the NHS is being "abused" if the treatment is something they don't approve of or is self- inflicted or generally think others shouldn't get. But ultimately it's none of your business if the treatment is offered.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle

Their decision to pay for it or push for it via nhs

Some will prefer private treatment.

In some trusts getting ECS might be easier than others, despite the new guidelines

And really it has nothing to do with you contributing lots, taking little and being due something.

And everything to do with the NHS capacity to treat and not endanger life.

And everything to do with the NHS capacity to treat and not endanger life.

And currently that includes elective C sections. So really not your business although you can of course campaign for that to be withdrawn if it bothers you. There's plenty of treatments which I personally think are optional luxuries, but so be it.

I don't know why some people are getting their knickers in a knot about elective c sections. Lots of other procedures on the nhs aren't essential, why should women's health be one that gets removed? Women have a right to choose how they give birth in the uk.

This 100%. I personally wouldn't choose c-section, but I would unwaveringly argue for the rights of any informed woman to choose this for herself (or any other decisions related to her birth) without talk of her having to pay for her own care. Where do we draw the line?!

People get very odd about this issue. I think it's a mixture of the natural fallacy and mistaken belief about costs.

Exactly. There are risks to both types of birth, for the mother and baby. Each woman and pregnancy will have factors to consider, either from physical or mental health and/or personal circumstances (eg I can’t imagine looking after a baby after a cs section if I didn’t have a partner but I’m sure others have managed).
let each woman choose what is best for them.

@Justkeeepswimming

none of the c section stuff that you list is as bad as incontinence is it

@Zone2NorthLondon

Please see the NICE guidelines regarding comparison of risk for VB vs CS.

death??

I would rather be incontinent than dead.

I would go for the option with lesser risk of death every time!

Both have pros and cons, and each individual person can make their own assessment of how those risks balance out for them.

For me, that was a C-section.

For me it would depend on the absolute risk of death, which is fortunately very low here.

So eg I'd take a 1 in a million risk of death over a 1 in a thousand risk of fecal incontinence in just about any situation, for example (figures made up for simplicity). But this is why the only acceptable approach is for women to be able to weigh up the risks and benefits for themselves.

I had shoulder dystocia with my first. Once you have experienced that you would understand why women opt for a c section.