For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

What a cheek- I'm very much of the view if men gave birth there would only be single child families

What an absolute arsehole. Really am flabbergasted that any man would think they have a say in this. He’s absolutely not a nice guy.

I was 42 hours into labour when told I NEEDED. a CS. Which I refused and DD born vaginally a couple of hours after. So as I said I obviously didn't need one

It's very disturbing that so many people think women either don't or shouldn't have a say in their own healthcare.

Is your friend Meghan Markle? If so, yes her partner will have probably requested a vaginal birth in accordance with royal protocol!

When he gets himself pregnant, he'll be able to give birth however he wants.

Context is everything
if my partner was wanting a caesarian purely for the reason they thought it would be a pain free option . I think I’d be persuading them against it as I think they were setting themselves up for a fall it’s not the operation it’s the recovery

it’s all about the wording
if someone posted my partner was a Caesarian because they want to be pain free should advise against it there’d be an overwhelming yes

probably the reason he’s against Caesarian is because he know it’s not going to be the easy option she thinks it is

You don’t have to have counselling.

My midwife referred me to the consultant at my booking appointment. She asked me if I wanted a mental health referral too (because of previous medical trauma influencing my decision) and I said yes, but could have declined and this would not have stopped me from having the consultant appointment. Incidentally, the perinatal mental health team actually said my referral didn’t meet the threshold for their services so I was passed on to general Talking Therapies, who no doubt will have a waiting list get exceeding the remainder of my pregnancy.

You really don’t have the right to impose,berate or persuade a woman what health choice to make.
Advocate for yourself. Don’t get all persuaded about your partner choices
When you are pregnant, by all means make that choice for yourself

Well then listen up, I’ve had multiple CS. No pain whatsoever. No complications post op.speedy recovery. All CS were emergency CS
Never had a vaginal birth,

Agreed. I wanted a natural birth but due to sever complications I had a ecs I was not awake it was so touch and go. I had to be put under. The only real pain I had was if I sat up too fast one staple felt like it would burst. Other then that it was a breeze. Baring needed medical intervention your friend should have her baby however the heck she wants.

He is a controlling idiot. When he gives birth he can dictate how it happens until then her body her choice (if it even is as sometimes it's a not a choice but necessity to save the mother or child's life or both). Dc3 may not be here if it wasn't for a c section. I am incredibly grateful to have had one.

So shocked at some of the judgement on here about other women's choices. I am not personally aware of any other area of healthcare that seems to attract such outrage! Hip replacement ( not lifesaving, just about quality of life), your choice etc etc.
Leave women to make their own choice!

What does it mean to have a say in your healthcare? There are some things you can control and there are others you don't have any real options. Both times I gave birth my well thought out birth plan went out the window as the situation developed in real time - they warn you this can happen. Refusing an epidural bleeding to death wasn't one of the options I was given, strangely enough! Even though I'd written on my birth plan that I didn't want one!

Also, the advice changes. Just like they say with absolute certainty that you should put your baby to sleep on their front, and then a decade later say, with the same certainty that you should put your baby to sleep on their back. Similarly, only about 5 years ago the advice was strongly in favour of natural birth - even an epidural wasn't really encouraged because you don't feel the contractions and know when to push.

So those pp getting angry at all the pp saying the dh is right that a caesarean is a bad idea unless necessary - how do you know the advice won't change again in a few years time, putting you in the wrong?

Honestly on every thread you'll find loads of women saying different things. Some saying they had a great experience with a C-Section, the others didn't, etc.
Just at the start of my journey, TTC and doing my research but with how underfunded the NHS is I can't stand the idea of going into labour on a random short-staffed day, or being left alone to push for hours and hours. People say it's a 'natural process' but so was women straight up dying as a 'natural outcome'.
Also the risk of pissing myself/ not being able to sit down properly.
Furthermore... all this fuss about health issues due to not coming through the birth canal, 1 in 3 have an ECS anyway! Maybe as a PP said, it's because doctors decide to do it. But like I said,... no way am I pushing for hours and hours.... if it comes to that, it's coming right out.
Of course a C-section also has scary outcomes. But for many women, if there's a risk that it's going to end up that way, might as well plan it. I also saw some research about worse outcomes via a vaginal delivery for older mothers. Whether this is because these people tended to have fertility issues anyway, or simply due to the deterioration of age, I don't know.

As @Zone2NorthLondon says birth choices are highly politicised, which is why women need to discuss it with their medical teams.

My partner would never dictate what o decided but he is very into natural stuff so massively supprt for VB and breastfeeding. I think probably because I had c sections and he knows how big if a surgery it is .

You do what you think it’s better . I had a vaginal birth and 4 c section from 1 serious emergency where we both almost died and 3 planned .
I found my c sections in general easy and by no means awful , the emergency one was hard as I laboured for 3 days before but recovery was great , the other 3 I was out 24 hours after .
whatever you decide it’s the right choice for you and don’t let others dissuade you .

Actually they can , legally they can demand one . At least they can in the U.K.

I've had both a cs and natural birth. Natural birth more painful at the time and the cs a longer and painful recovery.

But still nobody else's business, including his.

Insist? What if she needs an emergency c-section?

Apols if someone had mentioned this but there is evidence vaginal birth is a good way to support the baby’s microbiome and so support their early immune system development.
Just saying in case this is where the guy is coming from.
I agree totally ‘insists’ is bollocks tho!

What an odd piece of totally false information to shoehorn into the thread. Which royal protocols say that caesareans aren't allowed and what does any of the thread have to do with the Sussexes?

I haven't seen any posters getting "angry" at those saying the DH is right though?
I mean I haven't seen many people getting "angry" at all, but those that have queried the "caesarean bad narrative" are either because of the issue with the DH "insisting" rather than because he has an opinion, or because so many posters are spreading false information by "insisting" that you are NOT ALLOWED an elective caesarean on the NHS without good medical reasons, when a 2 second google or even just reading the whole thread would confirm that is not the case.

And also...because so many people are incapable of doing even basic research themselves - for those that are against elective caesareans for monetary reasons, because they are apparently so incredibly expensive - they are on average only £700 more than standard vaginal births BUT actually cheaper once negligence claims are taken into account. https://www.itv.com/news/2019-04-18/caesareans-cheaper-than-natural-deliveries-once-negligence-claims-taken-into-account

In addition to the monetary aspect, the fact that there are so many negligence claims that get to payout stage (believe me, NHS complaints departments do everything possible to stop things getting to that point, the vast majority of women who had significant problems during labour won't ever get to the formal complaint stage, and only a small proportion of those result in admission of liability) shows that vaginal births are far from straightforward and easy.

He can have a vaginal birth if he wants one.