For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

Women can't demand a caesarian.
It's a medical decision taken by the doctor (unless there are complicated circumstances and it's a pre-elective CS.)

But it's 'what you said before' I'm responding to.
Your literal quotes:
"Unless it’s absolutely medically necessary you should not be having a caesarean."
"the NHS should not be funding it."
"the NHS should not be handing them [elective c-sections] out'
not to mention your comments on what you think are/aren't good enough reasons.

How on earth can those statements be interpreted in any way OTHER than you not thinking your opinion should be prioritised over others and the actual NHS guidance?

FFS read the thread or spend 2 seconds on google before embarrassing yourself.
Any woman giving birth can 'demand' (although most people would say 'choose') a caesarean. For any reason whatsoever, doesn't have to be a medical one. It's not a medical decision. The only input 'the doctor' has is they can technically refuse to agree it themselves (rare because they would be going against NHS guidance and would have to justify this) but they still then have to refer the woman to a different consultant who will sign it off.

Just different hassle. There's no remotely easy way out of pregnancy sadly, although some births less difficult than others.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ very very naive to believe it's not the case here when it clearly is.

This is how they fool people. By being lovely in public

actually need. the statistic refers primarily to women who tried to deliver vaginally and (usually after many hours in labour, the longest I've heard of was 48) needed a caesarean due to complications/exhaustion etc. I know women who delivered vaginally but then needed a caesarean for the placenta, etc. Otherwise if they were recommended in advance it would be an elective caesarean not an emergency one.
Doctors won't/don't sign off on them 'willy nilly', but planned ones are much safer than emergency.

My EMCS experience was completely different. They grazed my bowel so I had complications

The WHO reports than more than a third of women who have a ‘natural’ birth are left with long lasting, sometimes permanent health problems. No thanks.

It's not if you keep on top of pain meds and keep moving around.

my dsis has had 2 c sections both was up and about wit very little pain next day was driving in 4 weeks

no man should have any say on this

wrong. can request for any reason, doesn't have to be medical, and unless it would be actively dangerous for you to have a c-section (vanishingly rare, for example you had spinal issues that meant you couldn't have an epidural) you are entitled to one.

Yes you can. At any point. And they have to acquiesce to you because you have a right to give birth however you want.

You can even ask for one in the hospital part way through labour. I know someone who got to about 3cm dilated and decided that was enough for her, she was done.

@latetothefisting even if you have spinal issues and can’t have an epidural, if you are on blood thinners etc. If you can’t safely be conscious they will just put you under general.

That was me who couldn’t have a epidural. It was almost a GA. Spinal only and they knew about it when time started running out, anaesthetist was pretty much ringing the klaxon.

If he's such a nice guy, then there'll be absolutely no problem in explaining to him what a twat he's being.

The only husband who is qualified to insist on any particular form of birth is the consultant obstrician taking care of the mother.

Perhaps he also needs to be informed that whatever plans are made, you get what the hospital decides when it all kicks off.

@easylikeasundaymorn

It is more to do with the state of the NHS than any judgement over anyone.

People are waiting 4-6years+ on waiting lists, and are literally dying before they can get seen, the system is near collapse.

So I don’t think anything should be done with public funds unless it is actually necessary.

Another poster was saying the guidance relative to opting for a caesarean for no reason other than preference has only recently come in….

I don’t know if it will be sustainable long term - in terms of paying for it and in providing the doctors to meet increased demand, carry operations out safely and to not jeopardise medically needed caesareans and emergencies.

While I still can’t fathom putting myself through unnecessary major surgery and don’t understand the mindset of some who wish to, if they want to pay for it privately away they go.

I’ve had both vaginal birth and C-section can fully admit my vaginal birth was 10x worse than my section! My section was just an epidural even after wards was actually ok I was bed bound for the rest of the day after it other than that I was up and about down seeing my baby in baby care!
my vaginal birth was horrid!

demand? No
Request,yes
NICE guidelines and good practice is to let women make informed health choices and that includes requesting a CS. Potential mental distress & anxiety is as valid a reason as hypertension
A midwife 16y experience has directly addressed this topic on this thread

No they weren’t

Just to add; often abuse/coercive control doesn’t start until during pregnancy so just because it’s out of character up to this point doesn’t mean it’s not a red flag.

In a C section they cut you open and then rip your stomach muscles because they apparently heal better that way. I needed two litres of blood transfused during the c section. And 17 years later I still have that C section pouch under my scar that makes me look still pregnant.

I remember after the procedure begging for more morphine after they took the catheter out and my full bladder starting pressing against the internal wounds. And I am not one to usually even want to take paracetamol. And then I ended up with a womb infection which went undiagnosed for 2 months.

My children ended up with digestive issues not helped by not going through the birth canal where a child is exposed to their mothers bacteria and their infant reflexes did not go dormant which can trigger ND traits - the movement through the birth canal of a child's shoulder hitting either side is the first trigger for crawling.

I believe in all women's right to choose what happens to their body - its not her husband's choice but I hope she has researched things to realise a C section is not something to have done to you with understanding what happens during and after it.

Honestly, lots of pros to having a vaginal birth. Curious as to why CS are seen as the "easy" option. I think it's a symptom of our overmedicalised society

DH said to me when I was having DS1, 'Are there only the two ways of giving birth?'
Me 'What do you mean?'
DH 'Well I thought there might be another option I didn't know about.'
Me 'Like what- what other option could there possibly be?'
DH 'I don't know. If I knew I wouldn't be asking.'

I have thought about it numerous times- did he think there was another exit from the womb that led somewhere else? Or did he think some kind of anatomical hoover was possible. It still seems such a bonkers question.

This!

I’ve heard this quite a bit about not going through the birth canal….

😂😂😂😂😂

Not quite as impressive as your inability to RTFT and your weird resentment against women only repeating what their midwives told them. It really cheers me up to come on mumsnet and realise that, for all my faults, I'm not as nasty and bitter as many women out there!