For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

He isn't 'lovely' if he's insisting on how your friend gives birth

Her body - her choice

However

I don't think your friend is necessarily understanding that whilst an epidural will numb the pain during the procedure, the recovery is very different afterwards

That isn't to say it's worse than vaginal birth - but the vast majority of people I know who have had both, state it's much harder having a CS

When he grows a womb - he can choose

Until then - off you fuck old chap

Yes you’re absolutely right, it’s my comprehension that’s lacking, and not all the people arguing about which method is best as if they think their opinion should matter to this poor woman just the same as her husband does.

Its derailing, just because a lot of people are doing it, doesn’t suddenly make it helpful or ok. I’m going to stop arguing with you about this now, because I’m not going to assist in the derailment even further.

This!

If he can stick a gala melon up his bum only using gas and air then he gets a vote. If he can’t, he don’t.

It's her body. So he really has no say.
That being said, does she know C-sections are also not a walk in the park?

Not necessarily. I had a completely pain-free c-section and recovered much quicker and in a lot less pain than the previous vaginal birth.

I have friends who were the opposite. Everyone is different.

Erm, you do realise an anaesthetic will be administered?CS under anaesthetic it will be pain free, experience feeling of tugging and pressure though. Mum usually awake and aware of surgeons and working

I have never given birth vaginally and all my CS were pain free with v quick recovery

It doesn't sound the the actions of a loving partner. Perhaps she can insist he slowly insert a knitting needle up his urethra and let him join in the pain as labour progresses?

You haven't had one have you?! Yes, there will be an epidural or a general anaesthetic but it's still major abdominal surgery, and there is post-op pain and some extent of mobility issues after the op. I had morphine, voltarol and paracetamol for a few days after mine.
Anyway he can't "insist" and no man who tries to make decisions like this in his wife's behalf is as sweet and lovely as you claim.

@Wiseoldminerva not judging anyone's choice, there's no need to take issue with what I said. An uncomplicated vaginal birth is preferable to a c section in terms of recovery

Hi,

It sounds as though they are both terribly stressed about it. Is their any way to help reassure them and dial them down a bit so they can have a calm discussion about it? I think that the stress and uncertainty can make it very hard for people to think clearly about this stuff.

😂

Doesn't sound like you know much about it. I had no issues requesting one. There doesn't have to be a medical need. I was asked why I wanted one. That was it.

@LuckySantangelo35

I don’t know why someone would put themselves through major surgery when there is no medical reason to and their body is absolutely capable of giving birth.

I don’t think it is a sensible health choice unless there is a reason.

That’s my opinion, you are entitled to yours.

I appreciate you had a negative experience, it sounds awful, but any woman can choose to have a Caesarian on the NHS, after discussing the relative risks and benefits with a health care professional.

The NHS offer this for very good reasons, and the availability of this choice to women is backed up by evidence and healthcare professionals/ doctors.

Your opinion on what other people should do regarding their own childbirth decisions is really not relevant. Women get to decide for themselves.

Every woman needs to go with her doctor’s recommendations. Nothing to do with anyone else.🙄

Well it was a lot less hassle for me.

No crazy long labour. Plenty of rest before and after. Nice private room to recover in (NHS). Planned C section at 10am got to hospital fully rested at 9am, back in recovery room by 11am with baby. No issues peeing or pooing after birth. Super quick recovery. Was going about my normal business, shopping in JL and going out for lunch etc by day 5.

Compared with my vaginal birth, long labour, tearing, stitches etc, my c section was a breeze!

I didn't even feel any tugging or pressure - had no idea they'd even cut me open until they said "your baby's been born".

Recovery was a bloody dream, way better than my vaginal birth.

Was DH born 350 years ago?

Nope, I mean birthing parent. HTH.

He has no right to insist and it is her decision. However, I also think "why would he care" is kinda unfair to say.

Women can and do have CS by request. We are getting a lot more attuned & sensitive to such requests. Interestingly the detractors and alarmists of CS by request are other women, natural birth advocates, doulas . Ideologically there are those who have an anti-medical agenda and will always talk up risk and complications of a CS. Birth in itself is risky. Huge physical and mental health risk arising from birth and postnatal period

@InfiniteGoodVibes

There is no need to be insulting.

I have said ultimately that it is the woman’s choice, nothing to do with the man.

But I do not understand why anyone would want to put their body through major surgery for no medical reason. Nor do I understand why the NHS is funding it. But if those are the guidelines so be it.

As for the kangaroo pouch - nobody told me this would happen and it’s an unslightly reminder of caesarean. Honestly I would have loved to avoid the whole thing but I had no choice.

As someone who has had both. It really really REALLY isn't.