For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

[Anguish]

Asking for a friend. Why would he care either way? She has a low pain tolerance and doesn't want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman.

EDIT: He's absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it's slightly out of character.

No worries!

You posted it on a thread where research is irrelevant and then you ask me why I’m pointing that out?!

And I can’t understand why anyone would have a natural birth when they can have an elective c section. We are all different.

Oh he can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

NOT true. If the mother doesn’t consent to the emergency c section, they won’t perform a surgery on her. I don’t know what happens when it reaches a point past saving the baby and it becomes a risk to the mother’s life, maybe they’ll try to section the mother, which could take some days anyway, and that’s a different story but I imagine it is so rare even most obs/gynes wouldn’t have experienced this!

Having had both, my c-section was definitely the most painful, and my vaginal was without pain-relief.

I've had 6 c sections and was very ill after the last one. No medals required but after each one it took longer to recover. Last one was three months.
I'm no heroine but my dc were totally worth it.
As for the 'not a real birth brigade' - fick right off and take OP's friends idiot partner with you.

Unless it's his body the baby's coming out of, he doesn't get to dictate this.

👏

Aside from all the advice you've been given here ill
add that i had 3 lovely vaginal deliveries and was straight up and about after, and a bloody hideous section. I was in agony for so long afterwards and hated feeling basically disabled after the surgery. Your friend is mad to think a section is an easy option.

No idea what you actually mean here. Research is relevant to a lot of the false claims people have made, like whether you're allowed a section based on maternal preference only.

God these threads are so annoying, derailed by people discussing what THEY think the better choice is, rather than focusing on the actual problem here, a controlling man.

You rarely get a choice but if you did someone whose body isn't affected wouldn't be making the decision.

It’s sounds like the pair of them have completely over simplified the situation

he thinks it’s like shelling peas
and she thinks it minor op and over and done with

Ultimately it’s obvious down to her.
OP says he’s nice could it be he’s worried about how she’d cope with a Caesarian rather than normal delivery

tbh the both sound very ill informed and uneducated about the whole process

Never had a vaginal birth as first was prem, 2nd was breech and 3rd was large. They don't do zips on the n.h.s. apparently according to my obs.😁

How is that research relevant to what this thread is about, a man who think HE gets to decide how his wife gives birth? Or are you just here to help the derailers arguing about what way is best?

I find it so bizzarre when people who never gave birth and have no medical experience jump on threads like this one!

Vaginal birth going wrong can leave woman with much longer health implications than normal Csection. People claiming otherwise don't have slightes idea about four degree tears etc.
Amd vaginal bacteria can normally be introduced to a baby by swab. Many hospitals do that as it is not extra cost or time consuming

Well the problem is that we've no way of knowing in advance which way we'll find the easier option. Even those of us who sample both only find out for sure afterwards. For me, that's exactly what CS was, but that isn't to say that any other random woman off the street would feel the same.

Even to the extent that it's possible to weigh up the risks and benefits for an individual woman based on her age, future plans etc, that still doesn't tell us whether she's going to be one of the ones who finds tearing more painful than post surgery. Or vice versa.

she can do what the F she likes with her body when it comes to her giving birth.

And no he is NOT an absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way despite him saying this out of character comment.

At the end of the day, both vaginal & c-section births can be utter carnage, and again, both vaginal & c-section births can be amazing.

Women are individuals, and have their own unique experiences.

Let your own wife decide how she births @Anguish , it's not your place to dictate to her over her own body.

A c-section isn't an "easy" option but neither is birth some lovely, idealised spectator experience marketed at prospective fathers with a menu of options from which they can select.

It can be wonderful but at its core is the potentially dangerous and often painful extraction of one human being from another. It is gory, unpleasant and unpredictable, occasionally with fatal consequences for the mother or baby and often causing injuries of varying severity to the mother. Amidst all of this, one of the things which makes it safer for women giving birth is feeling like they have agency and autonomy over what happens to them during the process. If you look at reviews of maternity crises up and down the country, a common theme is women being infantilised, not listened to, not believed, treated with disrespect, their concerns dismissed or sidelined and essentially treated as objects or vessels in their own care rather than human beings. This approach kills women and babies.

I'm at a complete loss as to why your friend's husband would want to treat her this way. The correct response in the circumstances is "I will support you in whatever you choose".

was that in response to my comment?

Your comprehension skills are too lacking for you to be able to pull off this kind of attitude.

The fact is that lots of posters, even some who unlike me haven't set out exactly how unacceptable it is for the father to think he has a say, have talked about the risks and benefits of ELCS v attempted vaginal birth. That is one of the directions the thread has gone, like it or not. You aren't the thread police and nobody needs your approval to talk about those issues.

Some of the people who've talked about them have, unfortunately, waded in without actually doing any research and blithely assured us that eg you can't just request a CS with no medical indication when any fule kno that the NICE guidance begs to differ.

A) it’s her choice and
B) it isn’t always that painful (2 vaginal births with no anaesthetic)