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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A horrible inheritance one

136 replies

Glasto73lover · 26/03/2024 22:22

My dad died 18 months ago and everything was left to my
stepmother but I did inherit a cash sum. That’s not the issue here.

Stepmother is now selling off some of my Dads possessions including some furniture that belonged to my grandparents and has said if I want it, I have to buy it off her.

Aibu for being really upset at having to buy my own Dad & grandparents possessions? I can barely believe it to be honest. I only want one sentimental piece that I don’t want going to a stranger but the whole thing has really upset me as I know my Dad would have been upset too and horrified,

OP posts:
toomanyy · 26/03/2024 22:24

YANBU, that’s terrible. Does she want a lot of money?

Original poster
Glasto73lover · 26/03/2024 22:25

@toomanyy i don’t know yet- she’s getting stuff valued. It feels so awful

OP posts:
PossumintheHouse · 26/03/2024 22:25

She sounds like a total witch, but if they belong to her you'll have to buy what you want.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 26/03/2024 22:25

Yanbu but this was your dad’s decision. He left everything to his wife so she can do what she pleases with it.

toomanyy · 26/03/2024 22:26

Glasto73lover · 26/03/2024 22:25

@toomanyy i don’t know yet- she’s getting stuff valued. It feels so awful

Just hold onto the thought that hopefully you’ll never have to see her again.

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/03/2024 22:32

Jesus, that’s fucking awful. I’m so sorry.

Kitkatcatflap · 26/03/2024 22:32

That is horrible. She is heartless.

Craftyy · 26/03/2024 22:34

Your dad had the option to will it to you and he didn't. Yes it sucks, she's awful for making you pay for it but i wouldn't assume he would be horrified or he would have made sure you received it.

Phrogg · 26/03/2024 22:36

That's awful 😢 some people will do anything for money.

BirthdayRainbow · 26/03/2024 22:37

This is a lesson to everyone to have discussions and to write a comprehensive will.

BreakingAndBroke · 26/03/2024 22:38

That's really shitty. Have a conversation with her and ask her directly "do you really think my dad would want me to have to pay for my grandparents' table?"

ZetuianRose · 26/03/2024 22:40

Craftyy · 26/03/2024 22:34

Your dad had the option to will it to you and he didn't. Yes it sucks, she's awful for making you pay for it but i wouldn't assume he would be horrified or he would have made sure you received it.

This…

He chose to leave it to her, it’s hers now I’m afraid. She doesn’t have to give it to anyone.

GrazingSheep · 26/03/2024 22:43

Have a conversation with her and ask her directly "do you really think my dad would want me to have to pay for my grandparents' table?"

If he wanted her to have items then he should have said that in hls will.

RandomButtons · 26/03/2024 22:46

That’s foul

Ponoka7 · 26/03/2024 22:49

Does she need the money? Your Dad saw to it that they became hers. If she doesn't need the money, then it's terrible of her. It depends on her financial circumstances, how long they were married etc.

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 26/03/2024 22:49

To be frank @Glasto73lover I'm quite shocked 1% think you unreasonable. Did you have a poor relationship with your stepmother? If you just want a couple of things she doesn’t it seems unkind to want to charge you for them. I’d pay her, what choice do you have? But remember this is not your dad’s choice. I’m sorry for your loss.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 26/03/2024 22:50

I absolutely cannot fathom the lengths some people will go to after death. Similar happened with my grandparent, her husband kept all the furniture because 'why should he live in a house without furniture' but one sentimental piece did make it to me after he died as his daughter wasn't a horrible twat like your step mum.

I can totally understand your dad not wanting to put items of furniture in the will, but if SM no longer wants them then a decent human being would just ask you to take your pick of items she doesn't want. It's just callous.

Minfilia · 26/03/2024 22:51

No, that’s really incredibly scummy.

Unfortunately though I also have first hand experience of peoples shitty money grabbing attitudes after the death of a relative.

WarshipRocinante · 26/03/2024 22:52

Well, your dad wanted her to have it, and it would end up wherever she wanted it. If her wanted it to go to you then he should have seen to that. It’s not like it’s unusual or uncommon for step kids to be cut out. He made that choice when he left everything to her.

WarshipRocinante · 26/03/2024 22:53

(What she is doing is really shitty obviously, but ultimately this was your dad’s choice)

Copperoliverbear · 26/03/2024 22:54

You are not unreasonable, but it's your dad's fault he must have know what she was like, sorry to say but men don't think with their brains, he should have asked you before he died would you want any of the furniture and left you what you wanted too.
I'd rather buy it from her if I wanted it, even though Its your family's. X

Original poster
Glasto73lover · 26/03/2024 22:55

@WarshipRocinante i’m not a step kid- he was my dad

OP posts:
DigitalDust · 26/03/2024 22:55

She is being totally unreasonable morally but legally she’s entitled to do that.

Hopefully the piece you want will be affordable

BobbyBiscuits · 26/03/2024 22:56

If you only want one piece I can't see why she wouldn't give you it. How mean.
She may get shocked when her inherited possessions aren't worth as much as she hoped, not all antique furniture is worth a lot.
Sadly it's her stuff now, so you might have to either agree a price or leave it. Can you find out the value online in case she tries to charge you some mad amount?
I'm so sorry you have to deal with her.

RogueFemale · 26/03/2024 22:58

Pay. Say nothing. Never speak to her again.