17 year old boys driving a car-full of mates

[95percentcocoa]

It’s dark and pouring with rain and past 9 pm. My 17 year old son is mad that I don’t want him getting picked up and getting driven around all evening by his 17 year old friend who has just passed his test this week in a car full of their mates.

It just seems like a recipe for disaster to me and would prefer he waits for a few weeks / drives him in daylight etc. He says I’m over anxious and paranoid. AIBU?

Yanbu. I really think we should have tighter laws in this country for young / inexperienced drivers. Too many tragic and avoidable deaths.

It is upthread.

Keep sharing as the thread moves on.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/655298

Not being unreasonable. I'd say no too. Can bet they're probably drug or drunk driving too.

Why are you asking? You know what the worst that could happen is. Should that happen, would the pain be lessened by knowing a bunch of random strangers on an anonymous chat forum marginally thought it was perhaps OK?
Just stick to your guns.

Neither of my kids will be doing this either. I couldn’t care less what they, their friends or anybody else says or thinks about that.

In Australia not allowed. Only permitted 1 peer passenger.

But it's taking about new drivers up to 24. And yes 16 yos can still get married in Scotland.and yes plenty 17 yos have children. Might not be planned but it does happen.

Thank you for sharing the petition. I've just signed.

Ask your son to watch this:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001xpft/drive-fast-die-young

And have a discussion.

Yeah, I shared it from Crystal's Facebook page. My sons are much younger but I'm local and it's been heartbreaking to witness a community absolutely devastated.

Thank you - I will do. I’ve just watched this and it’s very sobering 😔

I had a colleague who, when her DS turned 18 and had only just got his license, bought him a Smart Car for his birthday deliberately so he could only carry one passenger.

Her reasoning was that it gave him independence but he couldn’t go out with a bunch of mates speeding and showing off etc.

@Globetrote I've always worried how vulnerable smart car drivers are though, I wouldn't fancy being in an accident in one. Especially with all these SUVs on the roads now.

@yickytee I’ve thought exactly the same thing, but I don’t know which is the worse scenario to worry about.

HNRTFT but I was adamant that my teenagers were only ever to have lift if they were the only passenger. I paid for taxis or picked up despite how late it was !
Four boys from our local grammar school were tragically killed in an accident just before my oldest started driving. I absolutely would not agree to any of my children being ferried around by that age group…doesn’t matter how sensible you think they are !!

I’m with you on this and wouldn’t have allowed it either. I also don’t get what the rush is with getting their test passed. You hear it a lot, my dc had two months of lessons then passed his/ her test. Personally, I think learning over a longer period of time has its benefits. I advised my dc not to have mates in the car for around six months. I’d support a law on no passengers under 25 for new drivers for a period of time.

@Spacecowboys you don't learn to drive until you're actually driving, I wouldn't elongate the pre test period as I don't think that would develop driving skills especially well, but I would but more restrictions in place post licence like curfews, and perhaps some additional steps like a motorway course.

@yickytee learning in a two month period means that a new driver likely hasn’t had the opportunity to drive in all weather conditions, whilst under the watchful eye of an instructor. I’d prefer them to have done that before being out on their own.

I think that this is right. Learning to pass the driving test is not the same as actually driving. I took my test 9 months after my first lesson with lots of extra practice driving between lessons. Real world practice is needed.

I’ve signed the petition and I really wish the government would do something about this.

Yes you can be strict and say - I’ll only get you insurance/leasons/ a car if you stick to these rules (or make them save up). But then aren’t you pushing them in to getting lifts with friends (who may be less sensible)?

There just needs to be a law against 17 year olds driving around with multiple passengers.

I would happily go and get my son from anywhere at any time to avoid this but how do you actually get them to make that choice rather than hop it to a car with their mates which will be more fun? My son is only 15 and I’m already worried about this

Yes you can be strict and say - I’ll only get you insurance/leasons/ a car if you stick to these rules (or make them save up). But then aren’t you pushing them in to getting lifts with friends (who may be less sensible)?

Well no because they'll have their own car to drive which they will likely prefer to do, and the stipulations can be extended to not be a passenger in other cars, the intent is the same. If they want to keep their car, they will still to the rules 🤷‍♀️

I think I meant -by making them save up for a car then the aim is to delay them driving until older-more sensible. But from 17 they will just then get lifts with mates.

How do you stop 17 year old boys from accepting a lift with friends?

YANBU

my son has passed his test a couple of months ago and it scares the shit out of me. You need to let them have their freedom as we did growing up but they all want to run before they can walk.🚶‍♂️

@Delatron crossed wires then, I'm talking about providing a car, insurance and lesson on the condition they agree to the rules set by us, if they pay for it themselves I don't think you can.

But for the parents who say no way will their kids be getting in cars with their mates - good luck in controlling what they do when they are effectively adults. Thats why a legal change would be much better. I’ve told my son one friend at a time blah blah and not in bad weather but I can’t keep tabs on him 100% of the time, he’s 18 in a matter of days.