17 year old boys driving a car-full of mates

[95percentcocoa]

It’s dark and pouring with rain and past 9 pm. My 17 year old son is mad that I don’t want him getting picked up and getting driven around all evening by his 17 year old friend who has just passed his test this week in a car full of their mates.

It just seems like a recipe for disaster to me and would prefer he waits for a few weeks / drives him in daylight etc. He says I’m over anxious and paranoid. AIBU?

A load of teens died that were in the year below me at school, the driver survived it was almost 40 years ago. When I go home I remember them every time I drive down the hill they were killed on. My old boss DS was killed in a car crash having been out for pizza to celebrate his A level results, again only the driver survived.

YANBU.

The trouble too is the temptation to overload the car. Squeeze another two in an already full car and you alter the way it behaves on the road. Which being inexperienced drivers they don’t appreciate.

Yanbu. This situation - young, new driver, his young friends as passengers- is just about the riskiest car travel there is.

A car ain't that sturdy when it hits an immovable object such as a tree for instance and it's often the passengers that come off worst.17 yr olds aren't known for common sense especially in a group.

www.itv.com/news/westcountry/story/2015-05-15/inquest-into-death-of-three-men-in-westbury-lorry-crash/

This was near me, all three were decapitated.

www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/2043133.tributes-to-death-crash-teenager/

I went to school with this boy, again had only very recently passed his test.

Cars can be lethal.
You are very much not being unreasonable.

Yanbu

I didn't let mine drive with friends until they had been driving for ages.

Inexperience and bravado do not go hand in hand

YANBU. It's a recipe for disaster.

Stick to your guns.

My DCs learned to drive in the US in high school. There was a driver's ed class, driving simulator, school cars, and they did their test with the school driving instructor, then could get spot checked when they went with their certificate to the dmv.

They couldn't get their official license without 50 hours of a driving log filled in and signed by a qualified driver even after passing the test in school.

Their first license was valid for only five years, to age 21, with graduated steps from age 16 to 21, and strict sanctions for violations.

While I don't think you are being unreasonable.

I also think that young drivers scheme is over kill. People are either old enough and responsible enough to drive at 17 or they aren't regardless of the age of their passengers.
How can you say a 17-24 year old with a license cannot drive with their own child or spouse in the car? You'd end up with young people passing their test then not driving for months forgetting what they learned. And being very dangerous when they get back in the driving seat.

Maybe raising the age to drive to 18 would be more sensible and easier to police approach.

www.ilsos.gov/departments/drivers/teen_driver_safety/gdl.html

You might like to look at the details of a well thought out graduated driver scheme before condemning them.

Graduated driving schemes for young drivers were introduced in the US because letting young people loose on the roads once they passed their tests had tragic results.

Having a car full of people changes how the car handles.
When I was at school my friend was killed alongside four other mates. The new driver took a corner too fast and lost control.
I don't think the horror and grief have ever left me.
Subsequently I only let my 17yo have one other person in the car.

Agree with you. Where I live in nsw Australia under 25 year olds for the first year of holding their licence can’t drive with more than one passenger under the age of 21 between 11pm and 5 am. Pretty sure that rule was introduced due to the amount of deaths from young drivers.

The statistics genuinely point to increased risk with younger inexperienced drivers.
Weight of 4 adults means a small car will handle (steering and braking) differently to when it had two people only.

Yanbu. I lost two friends ages 17 in a car, the driver survived, no drugs or drink involved. Police said inexperienced driver who made a mistake at a roundabout. Destroyed our school year and sadly the driver dropped out and no one saw her again. All girls.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-67507424

These poor boys lived locally to me, DS knew some of them from college. I certainly have huge fears about him out and about with his mates. Harveys Mum Crystal is campaigning for progressive driving licences for young drivers.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/655298

Sorry just seen it has already been posted. Yes please keep it going and I would urge people to sign. The loss of life caused by these fatalities has far reaching devastating consequences.

Yet if anyone suggests 17 is too young to drive, MN implodes because everyone lives 'rurally' and they need to know how to drive, but as long as their 17 Yr old is not a passenger.

Better sad than dead. A colleague’s son and three of the other passengers were killed in a car accident. Middle of the day, good weather, no alcohol involved.

This is why I think the rules should change in the UK. In Australia, a P plater cannot drive legally with more than 1 passenger who they are not related to, who are between the ages of 16-21. Young lads egging each other on cruising around in wet conditions- I'd be telling him no, although it will be a few years before he understands why you say no to it

Yanbu. I've told mine he isn't to go with mates at this age. If he's stuck he can ring me. He's also a police cadet so I think he's got his head screwed on about this.

I think a huge number of us recognise the 'yeah, there was that crash in the summer term where 1/2/3 in my year died and the driver was never the same' story. There's usually a particular bend or road where they all happen as well.

I missed out on it purely because my 1st boyfriend was 2 years older, so he'd been driving for a year by they time I got into a car with him. There were still a couple of moments, just he had the year of experience to not crash.

My daughter is the first driver in her friend group and I asked her not to drive her friends until she had built up some confidence driving without an instructor/parent with her.

She's been driving six months now but I do still worry when she's out in the car because she is still an inexperienced driver.

Some states don’t allow passengers, I think, makes perfect sense, a car full of 17 year olds sounds like a recipe for disaster.

The school where I taught allowed sixth formers to bring cars to school nut the only passengers they were allowed were siblings with , obviously , permission of parents. Student and parents had to sign an agreement outlining this and other conditions before a permit was issued.

17 year olds can't get married so they won't have a spouse. The vast majority don't have a child either. Driving with a screaming baby is possibly even more distracting than a load of teenage boys so it seems like a very sensible idea to ban this!