To be annoyed house was unlocked?

[Hettycan]

Just woke up to get water at 2am - go downstairs and automatically check front door is locked as I pass it as husband has many times before forgotten to lock it - it's unlocked and it's very slightly ajar. Go and check back door, that is also unlocked.

I check car keys are still there and nothing looks disturbed and go up to bed. My husband asks me what is going on as he's heard me opening and locking doors. I say in a hushed but annoyed voice you left both doors unlocked when you came up to bed (hours after I went to bed) - he just sighs and rolls over - I say someone could be in the house and he just lets out a mocking sigh like it's no big deal.

He genuinely thinks going to bed and forgetting to lock the house is no big deal, and I feel like it's a potentially dangerous fuck up - I am so annoyed, not about the mistake but about the blase attitude to it - he will clearly just do it again as to him it's "no big deal" so I'll add wake up and check doors are locked after he comes to bed to the mental load.

Have t locked my car or doors since I moved in 39 years ago.. but depending on where you live this could be a massive issue.. are you in a dodgy area OP

What if ‘you’ were attacked and he was tied up and made to watch!!!

I’d lock the doors and take the keys up to bed. If he doesn’t like it, well tough!!

Except that if you're actually burgled your insurance policy is unlikely to pay out.

The No Big Dealers are a bit strange. Presume they all leave their car doors unlocked when parked outside as well.

YANBU There are so many burglaries, and your insurance wont pay if even the tiniest window has been left ajar. I quarelled with my own HB because he left the small window in the downstairs toilet unlocked 🤷🏼‍♀️

He needs to grow up. He acts like a teenager.

I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t be happy knowing I’d been asleep all night with both doors unlocked and front door ‘slightly ajar’. Might as well get a flashing sign inviting any passing burglars!!

Could you possibly send him back to his mother as she hasn't finished bringing him up?

My husband did this and we were burgled. This was a big deal for me.

What it must bevto be perfect .

He is just being lazy. I live on a quiet island and have done so most of my life. My parents always locked the doors and we do the same. I couldn't sleep if I thought the doors weren't locked.

Not repeatedly leaving one’s house unlocked seems a pretty low bar for perfection, @Julimia - but by this standard, I know a lot of perfect people.

You're going down a rabbit hole.

Why is it so important to check before going to bed?

You can't check the front door is locked once everyone is home?

Why is the back door unlocked? What seriously, throughout the evening, you're all going into the back garden? Or are you letting a dog out?

Whatever is going on in your head - you need to think.

The stress factor for you seems to be going to bed without everything checked and double-checked.

And yet, you're not checking throughout the evening, and things are still unlocked??????????

What is going on.

My biggest fear factor is the family getting out of burning home. (Hotel fire with smoke, didn't know where the emergency exits were. My experience.)

However, all my kids know what to do in the event of a house fire, what window to jump out of, how to dangle and drop.

You currently have an extreme fear without foundation.

Which means, you either haven't told you partner somethiing, or you have a weird way of exerting control. Or you really need to talk to someone about anxiety.

Takes no time to ensure doors are looked, we do this every night. Sometimes we've forgotten and thought other had done it or left doors ajar with keys in! Lessons learnt, take turns to check and relay back. X

This is how my partner is. He has left the door open and only because he thinks the area we live in is safe, it seems like it is ok. It is extremely annoying, i got my partner to check the whole house as I was nervous.

you havev the wrong end ofv hecstick for that post.

My now dh didn't lock the front once and we were burgled in the night whilst we slept. Laptops, camera, car keys, cash purses and wallets and watches all taken. And my ability to sleep for months after.
Both my dh and I are over cautious with making sure we are all locked in at night

This has happened to us a couple of times. The interesting thing is that when I left the door unlocked, it was, 'You left the doors unlocked.' When he did it, it was 'We left the doors unlocked.'!

Your posts are unreadable.

YANBU!

Why not just read all of the OP's posts instead of continuing to ask the same inane questions?

Takes no time at all to lock doors and windows

From experience it doesn't matter where you live.

Parents live in an area that would be classed as safe with 'nice' respectable people. However their nice area is a bit of a target due to it's 'niceness'. Insurance does not pay out if your doors and windows are not locked and yes they unfortunately found out the hard way.
They now also have ring doorbells and cctv fitted.

We live in a not so nice area and common sense tells us that we lock doors before bed. Keys are left in places where they can be grabbed by us in an emergency.

My husband isn’t as worried as I am about locking up, but he does it because he knows I worry. Your husband doesn’t need to think it’s important in order to realise it’s important to you, and to do it for that reason alone.
I would have a serious chat with him.

Replace the doors asap with self locking doors. Don't set the alarm and do it yourself- tell him if he loves you then he should want you to feel safe in your own home. Focus on it being irrelevant how safe or unsafe it is, you feel unsafe and vulnerable therefore he should be looking after you by doing it. It costs him nothing and will help you a lot. He needs to add checking the doors to his pre-bed routine, if he can remember to brush his teeth or get changed before bed then he can remember that.