Aibu to think most "gifted" children come from well off, affluent families?

[Blueballoons1]

Eg start instruments or sports very early, can afford top tuition, often a parent has the skills to teach the dc at home, they have the time & money to travel around the country for events.. Parents oversee practice is done at home.. Whereas they may well be quite medicore compared to a child with raw talent whose parents just cannot afford what it takes..
I just feel for music, sports or academics money & an affluent background is part of the parcel for the majority of "gifted kids"..

Can we stop with this please savant autism is very rare but to perputate this myths that everybody with autism has a special gift helps no one and really minimises ,how disabling it can be for some.

My DD is gifted but underachieving at the same time. We know this because of an IQ test done by a specialist educational psychologist.

School wouldn't believe it until we showed them the results. She has massive self-confidence issues and perfectionism problems. At school she is so desperate to blend in that she wouldn't let on that she could read in reception. Meanwhile she is actually 5 years ahead with reading and she can also read fluently in her second language without ever having had any formal tuition.

I suspect she has a mild form of either ADHD or autism.

This is something innate, but it certainly helps that she has a small library at home, we often go to the library and museums and that she has a lot of educational toys.

Gifted children don't really need academic tuition. My friend's daughter is very bright and when she was applying to grammar schools I asked if she was being tutored. My friend said no, as she felt that she should be able to get in based on her genuine ability, and if she couldn't, it wasn't for her. She got in and did brilliantly. Same with another friend whose daughter has just graduated from Cambridge with a law degree. No tutoring but got into a fantastic Grammar school. She was just extremely bright. Neither child came from a wealthy family of had gifted parents.

Yes but a child who is showing huge promise in school violin with a single parent who is working three jobs to keep a roof over their heads & pay for the essential basic needs is not going to have the same opportunities as the child also showing huge promise in school with parents who can then afford top private tuition, upgrade the violin when necessary, afford to bring to competions & camp, gets child into junior orchestratra & has the time & means to bring & collect..

The difference is that a child who is truly gifted doesn't need that level of parental input.

They will still match and then exceed the ability of the child who is coached and supported and ferried around. Their gift will shine through despite the rawness of their technique or the lack of opportunities. It's just runs through them.

It requires more luck to be spotted but it does happen.

The reality is that parental investment can make up for a lack of giftedness to a degree so enable the child to achieve. But that isn't giftedness.

Gifted kid here - we were comfortable but went to state school, no private tuition, but had I asked for it my mum would have busted a gut to get it for me!
Unfortunately once I got to university I had a real bad case of imposter syndrome. I’d never met anyone from a private school or who had so much money growing up, and I’d never walked into a room and felt like the stupidest and/or poorest person in there! That “gifted” label is something I’ll fight against for my own DC, no matter how intelligent they turn out to be.

@Blueballoons1 you keep arguing against your initial post. You asked if most gifted children came from affluent families. Many posters have said it’s about parental support not affluence.

i would say most gifted people have the privilege of parental support and sacrifice rather than linking it to money.

Also - I wasn’t “gifted”. I was undiagnosed autistic.

I also believe that it depends how you define gifted. I don't tend to think of it as many do on mn, ie a clever child.

I think it means "having been given a talent as a gift" as if from nowhere and it seems as if the person doesn't need to do anything because it has already been installed in their brain, and so we are talking about only a relatively few people in the world alive at any one moment.

I'd say that these people however are different to those with an exceptionally high IQ, who probably have a wider range of abilities, and can probably adapt them to fit all sorts of situations in life.

Well, I don't know about "most", but you can't really pay to make your child gifted. They are gifted or they aren't. I think you are confusing gifted with well educated.

😅

Being childfree is OK!

😅

This has absolutely nothing to with savant autism, which in itself is a pretty damaging stereotype. The fact you drew immediate parallels between "gifted" and being a "savant" is pretty strange and extreme tbh.

The majority of ND people have special interests and they experience a highly pleasurable state when indulging in that interest. This is close to 100% of the ND community and up to 10% of the general population. Out of those people, especially children, it's not unreasonable to deduce that they will spend all the time possible engaging in their special interest, and out of pure repetition, end up becoming very good at it. The vast majority of artists, musicians and athletes need the ability to practise repetitive tasks for hours on end that may easily bore other people. Hardly a stretch to assume that if a certain sport, or drawing, or singing is someone's special interest, that is intrinsic motivation to practice and become better at it.

There have actually been anecdotes that the "flow state" of indulging in a special interest is comparable to the effect of cocaine on the brain. It's literally a naturally induced high that people with ADHD become addicted to particular activities that release that feeling.

Seriously? I really wanted to have children, and am very glad that I did so, but my friends who chose not to have children are far from miserable as they head towards retirement, with their solid pensions, reliable social networks, regular exercise habits, strong pelvic floors, shorter stack of responsibilities and outgoings, strong relationship with their spouse, more leisure time, and no offspring planning on staying in the family home for next decade or so.

I think the truly gifted will often have had supportive parents but not necessarily affluent. They will often be identified by adults in the field they are gifted and supported by them too.

I think this is true ,Many talented sportspeople have attended private Schools and also Musicians /Academics and so on . There are probably an equal number of gifted children who may not get such recognition sadly

My neighbors were dirt poor even on benefits barely scrapped by. Every single one of the 8 yes 8 children is remarkably gifted and went on to have amazing careers because of it.

Ruth Lawrence had become a maths genius at some detriment to her childhood.She was not allowed friends,and going to Oxford Uni as a child had a profound effect on her. She is now teaching Maths in Jerusalem ,a worthy career but may have got there anyway with a "normal" childhood.

Well, having money definitely helps. Not sure if he counts as gifted but my 17 year old passed his grade 8 piano last year. His grandparents paid for his piano lessons from the age of 6 as they thought it was important and we couldn't afford them. He has taught himself to play several other instruments with the help of YouTube. He has always enjoyed music so he practiced loads. He is also autistic.

Not sure it's about affluent parents at all! I think if you walked around the House of Lords a 100 years ago you wouldn't find a strong correlation between intelligence and wealth! (Not much probably has changed now either)

Clever parents have clever kids is as likely to be true as saying sporty parents have sporty kids, a mixture of nature and nurture!

That's exactly what I mean, you're proving my point... The vast majority of these kids are labelled gifted but they also had very supportive parents, money, time & resources pumped into them.
Some are also homeschooled to fit around their talent eg Alma Deutsche the child composer but her parents also were friends with the worlds t top musicians who helped & taught her. They are also an extremely wealthy family.
Even Mozart's father was a music teacher so Mozart's talent was spotted & nurtured at a very young age.

They will often have received scholarships though.

Ruth Lawrence had become a maths genius at some detriment to her childhood.

That’s true, and presumably if there is one very gifted child then the other siblings miss out if the parents are constantly running around after the gifted one - taking him/her to competitions and training etc.
I wonder if Ruth Lawrence in later life resents her odd, isolated childhood, or whether she appreciates the effort her parents put it to have her talent for maths realised.

The 1% club on tv is interesting as the people who get all the questions right are doing a range of jobs. They are obviously all very clever people from different backgrounds.

Having opportunities to capitalise on giftedness is great. But it doesn’t mean you are not gifted if you don’t have the resources (to show them off or be realised).

I certainly would never say that these events should be stopped - I rather like watching horses in action myself! I also admire the commitment of parents like @XelaM who enable their children to take part despite barriers.

But there is a far, far smaller field of potential competitors in niche sports than for sports that are routinely taught in schools (such as athletics or football), so nearly every child gets to try it out and where thousands and thousands of children are actively scouted by teams.

So I am not sure that I would talk about Zara Phillips as being in the same league as Mo Farah or a Premier League Footballer, in terms of sheer sporting talent. She is obviously talented, but I am not sure that she has had to overcome quite as much competition to get to the top level.

This thread makes me think of good will hunting🤣.
That was being genuinely gifted and is a lot rarer than this thread would have us believe.