Aibu to think most "gifted" children come from well off, affluent families?

[Blueballoons1]

Eg start instruments or sports very early, can afford top tuition, often a parent has the skills to teach the dc at home, they have the time & money to travel around the country for events.. Parents oversee practice is done at home.. Whereas they may well be quite medicore compared to a child with raw talent whose parents just cannot afford what it takes..
I just feel for music, sports or academics money & an affluent background is part of the parcel for the majority of "gifted kids"..

I agree that people use ‘gifted’ in different ways which confuses matters.
In the way you mean it as a talent or ability to reach a high-level as a sports person or musician, talent needs to be nourished so all the privileges (having affluent parents, schools supporting this development, mentors, even public transport systems) play a role.

On the other hand, I was part of a ‘gifted’ programme in school 25-30 years ago and it was very much a way to siphon off students who were achieving well in the curriculum but because they already read the books for English or could spend 20 minutes catching up on maths after school, and might become bored and disruptive if left in the classroom. It was billed as a stretch activity but retrospectively I think it was actually a classroom management technique for asd/adhd students. There was some crossover between that group and a programme for children who couldn’t fit into mainstream high school so had ‘accelerated learning’ in a smaller, less structured more self-directed classroom.

It worked as best as it could culturally at the time, but I can see how much resistance there would be introducing something similar now in a why put resources into those already achieving way.

Yes that's exactly it, they could still play at the basic club level but to progress & climb the ladder to the top takes time, money & dedication on top of talent.
Some parents could be "cash rich but time poor" as in simply unable to do all the donkey work of carting around..

I’m sorry but this is just not correct. Gifted does not go hand in hand with ASD. We are just more likely to notice an individual with ASD who shows gifted behaviour. An NT child who is gifted is not likely to be any different than a non gifted NT so they rarely appear gifted. Of the boys DS played rugby with one was concert pianist standard. He didn’t want to be a concert pianist but was truly gifted on the piano.
My niece is a gifted artist but is studying civil engineering at Uni because there is “no money in painting”, her words. She makes money on the side painting people’s pets.

NT individuals are able to function in the world without bringing attention to their gift.

I wouldn’t say my DS is gifted, he is a very bright all rounder. Unfortunately he learned early on that he didn’t need to revise to pass exams. And that exams don’t reflect your intelligence, just your ability to regurgitate facts.
He is hopefully starting a degree where analytics is more important than regurgitated knowledge, an area he excels at.

personally I’d disagree, I think it’s about work ethic and opportunities not money. I know a lot of kids who aren’t well off but their parents eg teach them chess or instruments, take them out hiking, doing charity work, I know two whose parents take them selling at markets, they do sports (and I’m talking football or other affordable sports not golf or equestrian sports!) and generally have the ‘life is to be lived’ mentality.
edited to add their parents in general are the type who help out a lot and are involved in the community.

Definitely agree. A teacher like as in your sons case is a fantastic asset to have but there are getting harder & harder to find especially due to the amount of teachers leaving in droves 😢

Even though not privileged they obviously had very supportive parents who were able to see what their kids could access to develop their gifts.

You keep answering yourself. No. Not all gifted dc are from affluent families.

They usually have parental support but that's not what your OP was about.

I do roll my eyes slightly when it comes to expensive sports like show jumping, eventing or dressage

Badskiingmum so what do you think the solution is to this (other than stop equestrian competitions as they’re unfair).

Exactly I remember when Harry Redknapp was in I'm.a celebrity and he was talking about his Son Jamie saying ,he got where he was through his Own talent
And I'm not doubting he must have been talented to get as far as he did
But there will have been other kids equally as talented who didn't have famous foot baller fathers that recognised their talents and knew how to nurture them and get them recognised
Equally non of David Beckhams kids have gone on to be professional footballers despite extensive training from a young age .

We earn avarage salaries. I don't work full time time due to health problems. So no expensive private schools.
We both have 5/6 years of university studies so we are able to cover a lot of basic studies.

All 3 kids are gifted. They had their IQ tested.
Two +18 yo now.
We have spent time and money on their education. Still does on the youngst.

Lots of our friends don't pay any attention to their childrens' education - no matter gifted children or not.

Ultimately, OP, giftedness might not he recognised, nurtured or opportunities provided where parents are not supportive or are financially unable to do so but giftedness in and of itself is unrelated to money or parental attitude.

I was classified as a gifted child. I never did prep nor did I revise until I got to university. I was only diagnosed as ADHD as an adult. DH (ASD) struggled in school but is the most persistent person I've ever known. We both earn in the top 1% but we require a huge amount of paid help to keep our household running smoothly. The practical everyday tasks are often in chaos but at work we both excel. The kids have all struggled but we can pay for private school and all the support they need privately. None of them are gifted but 2/3 are very academic. The third child seems to have gotten all the challenges and none of the perks of being ND.

I agree with sports as I have child who has a natural ability and has focused on a more niche sport at a national level that requires £000s in fees and competition support over the year plus driving large distances for competitions. We are having to support others in the club via gofund me appeals to represent the country as it’s so flipping expensive. It shouldn’t be like this and we were actually asked when they were accepted into the highest squad if we could fund the commitment. Cake sales barely touch the edges of the costs involved when they do fundraisers.

Again autism.is a huge spectrum my son is autistic and can't speak and is working at pre school levels at fourteen i see very perks he was diagnosed at three .

I think this is very true. DD would be still be as naturally talented if we didn't facilitate as much as we do, but she wouldn't have to opportunity to demonstrate that to others or improve.

Interesting connection linked to ND as well as we are all neurodiverse so the ability to hyper focus on niche areas and have adhd energy is a bonus when it comes to excelling in niche areas.

My point is raw talent can only get you so far as a child

I think that always been true to an extent - it's just getting worse and social mobility is in decline and this is probably a contributing factor.

My DH is gifted in maths - not top of the world mathematician gifted as those are really rare - but 1st class degree PhD - research career gifted. He needed A-level maths teachers to get though maths and further maths in timeframe of course and I know as DS and mates are now doing similar A-levels that actually that's not a given these days.

@Angrymum22 giftedness is widely accepted as a form of neurodiversity. A quick Google will tell you this. What most people are describing on this thread aren't gifted children.

@x2boys I never said that ASD doesn't have a very wide presentation. What I am saying is that gifted children are neurodiverse. It doesn't mean the inverse is true.

My daughter does show jumping. I'm a single working mother with no financial help from ex and we don't have land. I'm sacrificing a lot to keep her in the sport and it would absolutely be made endlessly easier if we came from money, but not all kids who are talented in expensive sports come from money. Of course money makes it much easier.

You are spot on OP.

A friend of mine is a child psychologist. She says that on the affluent areas there are much higher numbers of high ability/so called gifted children. She briefly worked in a poorer location and didn’t come across any higher ability/gifted children.
It is, of course, down to parental input and environment.

I don't know if I would call my son 'gifted' but he is really very bright and on course for 8s and 9s in his GCSEs, and also has a very surprising natural talent for music. I'm on a low-ish salary, and have never sent him to paid piano lessons, he gets them at school for free, but saved up to get him a decent electric piano last year which he spends a lot of time on. Other than that, he has excelled on his own without needing much support from me, financially or otherwise, but I am available to him for support whenever he needs me.
But then there's a boy who has been in DS's class all the way through primary and secondary, and he is definitely gifted. He gets pretty much 100% for any test he does at school. It's always been a bit of a competition between him and DS as to who gets top score, and it's usually him. That's fine, they're good friends! However, this boy is from a very mysterious background. Not once did his parents turn up for a parents evening, a school play, even to pick him up from school. I've never seen them. I know where he lives and it's quite a deprived area, and all the blinds are always shut. He is lovely, and I always felt sorry for him as you could tell he just wanted a parent with him when he saw all the other kids with theirs. I only see him occasionally now but he seems absolutely fine and I think he'll do very well in life.

You said most have autism.or ADHD which isn't true .

But all that says nothing about the rest of the gifted children. You only focus on a part of the group.

Knowing isn't gifted though.

None of my children are SEN. Lots of gifted children aren't. Simply not true.