Aibu to think most "gifted" children come from well off, affluent families?

[Blueballoons1]

Eg start instruments or sports very early, can afford top tuition, often a parent has the skills to teach the dc at home, they have the time & money to travel around the country for events.. Parents oversee practice is done at home.. Whereas they may well be quite medicore compared to a child with raw talent whose parents just cannot afford what it takes..
I just feel for music, sports or academics money & an affluent background is part of the parcel for the majority of "gifted kids"..

I couldn’t say, but now and then I’ve thought of Jacqueline du Pre, the renowned cellist who died tragically young of MS.

Apparently when she was just 4 she heard some classical cello music on the radio, and said to her parents, ‘I want the thing that makes that noise.’
The rest is history.

I can’t help wondering, though, what if she hadn’t been born to the sort of parents who play classical music, or who hadn’t been in a position to provide her with a child-sized cello and music lessons?

@Anonymous2025 the term is normally Twice Exceptional /2e or in the US Dual Exceptional which describes someone who both has an area they are gifted at and also a disability. A person who is gifted scores 130+ on IQ or other assessments like the WISC-V.
Many autistic children will not be able to get a true IQ score as their profile is so spiky so there are too many outliers to accurately calculate it.

Or a private education. She attended an independent school both for prep and secondary.

During that era she could have attended a state grammar school, which could have been equally beneficial. But her musical talent was discovered very early on, and with music teachers outside the school system, who recognised and nurtured it, I dare say it would have flourished anyway.

Somewhat unlikely at age 5, compared to a private school on a very exclusive, private estate where she lived in a very exclusive and expensive house (followed by what at age 11? Heath Clark? Wally Girls?). They wouldn't have been walking into Purley/Woodcote/Purley Oaks when there was a school specifically for the families/types of families (of men working in the City of London on very large salaries) that were resident.

There’s gifted & well-off, and then there’s gifted and well-off. So DC goes to private school and we are lucky enough not to have to work all the hours that god sends so we are able to give them time & attention too. DC is considered by school to be quite musical, playing cello grade 2 & piano grade 4 at high grades, doing very well in all sorts of areas. Yet DC spends a vast amount of time chilling out, Minecraft after school etc.

However, he is at school along with a number of kids coming from a certain population demographic who will undoubtedly exceed in all areas plus grade 8 music by the end of KS2, because their parents expect it and push them into hours and hours of practice, Kumon & drill.

So there is raw ability, money, parental support PLUS cultural expectation built into this as well.

Perhaps people are also more likely to send a gifted child to private school.

We wanted to keep DD in state, but eventually they were telling us that they weren't going to teach her anything for a whole year in primary. So she moved to private.

I've also observed in her secondary (selective and not in London) that there is a kind of correlation between apparent giftedness (as measured by participation in Olympiads and keenness on reciting Pi to many digits) and distance from school. I suspect parents are prepared to make more effort for a child whose needs can't be met in state schooling. Crucially, there are no grammar schools within a 40 mile radius.

I think a parent being interested in education or a particular sport or instrument is very important. A child won't find out if they have a gift if they aren't pushed. The child and parents also have to be prepared to focus on the talent as having a natural gift will only take you so far. The thing you are gifted in does have to become an obsession as well and something you want to spend most of your time doing. I don't have the mentality for this. I prefer to have a few things I'm OK at than one over riding obsession.

I have a different perspective on this. I have a DC 'gifted' in Maths. It was apparent before he started school and from a young age he was taken out of class for completely different maths from his peers etc. In secondary he was propelled into lots of olympiads etc. and we felt he was constantly being wheeled out for his maths prowess. The big issue for us as parents was that he was gifted in maths but he didn't love maths and he never wanted to study maths at university. I think his background helped a lot to widen him out as we encouraged lots of sport and wider activities to cool things down a bit for him and to give him free rein to choose his interests and his own path and not have it dictated by something he happened to excel in by a quirk of nature. He is now a very happy medical student. His friends sometimes tease him along the lines of "you chose to be a doctor when you could have been a quant!" but that's as much of a mention as maths gets these days.

@soluckytohaveyou what nationality are these parents?

My ex sil has a PhD in chemistry, won a full scholarship to a prestigious private sixth form after getting some of the best gcses in the country. Ex mil was a single parent on welfare, doesn't have a qualification to her name and is common as mud. She wouldn't know culture if it slapped her in the face and doesn't believe in extra curriculars.

She did make sure exdp and ex sil were fed and clothes properly (even on a very much shoestring budget) before anything else and adores them both unconditionally though

A privelidged upbringing they did not have. Ex sil is undeniably very gifted. So is exdp to a lesser extent (he's a twat, but he's a very clever twat)

AFAIK she attended Croydon High School, same as my elder sister, and my parents were very far from well off! Fees were relatively affordable compared to nowadays, though - a lot more ‘ordinary’ parents could manage them.

Of course supportive parents with money can be extremely helpful but raw talent often catches the eye of the someone who can open doors or who can trigger opportunities.

Also Commonweal Lodge for Primary. And a huge house on the Webb Estate.

If it is true that the majority of under-achieving children come from disadvantaged homes, then it may also be likely that those who excel, either generally or in a specific area, may come from homes in which there is a possibility to do so.

Yes it's more often recognised or simply nurtured.
And they come from families that allow them to capitalise on the recognition and confidence

There are always exceptions but you need to be in the right environment and with the right people to make the most of it

I remember a documentary where they sent a young bright lad who was at a inner city London comp but who had no interest in learning and was getting in with the wrong crowd to a posh boarding school I believe was Eton or somewhere like that for a year and he thrived , began to study hard and they found he had a gift for Latin . So I think it's nurture and peer pressure.

I agree that the child needs to be in the right environment & also get the best possible coaching imaginable.. After reading all the replies the right environment obviously isn't the wealthiest but the one that recognises, encourages & makes opportunities happen..

I read this earlier and it made me think of this thread. In a way it actually supports what OP was saying

https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/24315024.britains-smartest-teen-sights-oxford-university/

Wowww

Yeah you can’t teach that, she’s most likely very very gifted. Totally blows your mind how she can absorb so much, extremely impressive.

I certainly remember hearing about the celebrated cellist Jacqueline du Pre, who apparently heard cello music on the radio at 4, and told her parents, ‘I want the thing that makes that noise.’
So they acquired a ‘junior’ cello for her, and arranged lessons.
The rest is history.
But what if she’d been born to a family where she was unlikely ever to hear classical music at home, and who wouldn’t have had the funds (or the inclination) to buy her the cello and pay for lessons?