Toxic femininity?

[JordanPeterson]

If men & women are equal

Then it stands to reason that toxic femininity is a real phenomenon

However it does not seem to be widely acknowledged or permitted to be discussed in society

As a 40 something woman have experienced this phenomenon & read of it here

Examples that spring to mind include:

• Culture of "cliques" which often lead to bullying & ostracising behaviour
• Using tears as a manipulation tactic
• Becoming involved in affairs & being the "other" woman
• Judging others for different life choices (Eg: not having a career, being "broke")
• Hateful behaviour towards those who don't identify with or agree with Feminist agendas
• Focus on appearance (Eg: minimising the risk of botox/plastic surgery to others, reluctance to form friendships with those they perceive as "daggy" - see cliques)
• Obsession towards drinking wine as a personality trait

Now many women do not partake in such negative & socially damaging behaviours

& most of these examples are of toxicity towards other women which is interesting

But that doesn't mean that toxic femininity is not real, does it?

Are we just our own worst enemy?

AIBU to find the culture of toxic femininity worthy of discussion?

Hopefully a Mumsnet chicken so it can be all three meals from one bird.

What pronouns do you use @JordanPeterson

What is your definition of the perfect partner?

What's your favourite perfume, colour, activity, animal?

my definition of masculinity & femininity is from the dictionary

if you want to go all academic university style analysis & language then you are welcome to your definition. I prefer more straight forward language that is easily accessible & understandable unless I am writing an essay

why is it that if I disagree with feminists that am called an male & incel ?

doesn’t that mean I am a man nobody will sleep with & a virgin?

is there something wrong with being a virgin?

doesn’t that prove my point that promiscuity is promoted & seen as good in today’s society?

If a guy calls a girl a slut that is nasty language

so if we call guys incels isn’t that also nasty?

Two wrongs don’t make a right

@queenmeadhbh Sorry-you're right of course. And I should have been grateful that my father was an enlightened man and waited until I was 15....

You’re avoiding the question

how do women choose to become stay at home mums like you?

what would you advise young women to do in order to become a SAHM?

is the choice easy or difficult to achieve in today’s society?

if a woman wants to be a SAHM but her situation does not allow, do you think she is silly to not have chosen more wisely or just unlucky?

is the choice to be a SAHM easily accessible to all women who want this or just some women now depending on their circumstances?

we were sold that we would have the choice after all, weren’t we?

Beauty culture too. I think we are careering backwards in terms of women being valued solely for their youthful and beautiful appearance and it is not solely down to the men.

You keep misinterpretating things to fit your narrative. I'm now wondering myself if it's intentional or if you really are that single-minded.

An incel is a man who hates women because he can't find one to sleep with him. He blames it on women wanting a certain type of man, which he isn't.

People are calling you an incel because you are also reducing women in the same way and have even suggested that they only want a certain type of man.

Your mini rant about virginity and promiscuity has nothing to do with it.

Random but ok

a kind, funny, fun loving, hardworking man who I find attractive, who drives & is family oriented I guess

favourite perfume is Guerlain La Petite Robe Noir, only one have worn since 2012

colour - pink or black

activity - dancing

animal - dogs

i don’t like pronoun discussion, I’m a female so you can work that out & I’ve been misgendered this whole thread so it doesn’t matter does it

Am I reducing women or questioning the current culture of women’s behaviour?

if someone questions women in general must they be a man? Is it impossible to believe that one of your own has broken ranks & disagrees ? Aren’t all women not the same ? But you refuse to believe I could be one, which is funny.

so an incel doesn’t have to be a virgin ok, I thought it meant something to do with celibacy

if a guy wants a woman to sleep with him he just needs to work very hard to become rich

maybe bill gates would have been an incel if he wasn’t so rich but he found a wife

i think if young boys are stuck inside on computers not living life they are less likely to think of creative ways of being successful in life sadly, unless they are programmers like gates or maybe Zuckerberg

still don’t think it’s a nice term to call young boys & that teasing ugly people that nobody wants to have with them is quite cruel

They call themselves incels. With pride. It isn't a name women gave them.

if someone questions women in general must they be a man? Is it impossible to believe that one of your own has broken ranks & disagrees ? Aren’t all women not the same ? But you refuse to believe I could be one, which is funny.

Again, this is you talking about women like they are one homogeneous group. You.

There is no group. There is no hive. There is no sisterhood. There is no "ranks". Women are all individuals, with individual thoughts and opinions.

People are calling you a man because the things you say are misogynistic. Misogynistic is generally a trait found in men. But I very much believe women can be just as misogynistic.

I think your use of the word promiscuity tells us all we need to know tbh.

Having studied this extensively, yes I do have sixth sense about text and whether it written by a man or a woman.

And it is much more nuanced than 'restrained used of exclamations and paragraphs'

And what, pray tell, is 'the current culture of women's behaviour '? Please do enlighten us.

I haven't studied extensively in that area tbf, so all I can say is they come across like an absolute dope. But I will of course defer to your superior knowledge 🥰

Being sluts with careers I think.

That must be it alright. Cheek of us altogether 🤣

@JordanPeterson Why did you choose your user name?

Why do you care? And if you are in fact a woman, why can't you answer these questions for yourself? You do realise the answers will be different for everyone, given that women are not a homogeneous hive minded lump?

Shits and giggles!

Oh, no, I hope it stays up! There are some really solid (and some very witty) arguments on this thread, and it's good to see so many in response to the baffling claptrap often thrown - or moaned - at women who dare to think for themselves.

What does obsession towards drinking wine as a personality trait even mean

@JordanPeterson "how do women choose to become stay at home mums like you?

what would you advise young women to do in order to become a SAHM?"

You must have missed my post. I chose a partner who shared my values. We waited to have children until we were in a position to raise them the way we wanted to.

so an incel doesn’t have to be a virgin ok, I thought it meant something to do with celibacy

They (the men who refer to themselves as incels) say they are involuntarily celibate, blaming women as a whole for not wanting to date them due to their own personal hostility towards women and they also dislike men who are sexually active.

Many people do not fit the societal standards of beauty, but that doesn’t stop them from finding love and/or having sex.

Well obviously women are all sneaking the wine at every available opportunity. An upstanding man would stick to the occasional pale ale.