Fawning/obsessing over people you don't know

[Sparklybutold]

Why? Just why? I don't need to name names as it's bloody everywhere!

Of course it's sad when ANYONE is unwell or experiences something stressful, but why do strangers become so occupied with it?

Even as a teen I never understood the fan base that pop bands etc would get, sure I enjoyed the music, but would always look on with bemusement at the obsession. When I see people screaming, crying at people, they don't know, I just do not get it.

Especially when these same people are able to access resources the majority of us could only dream of! At the same time, millions of people suffer/die because of the same issue, but are simply born to the 'wrong' family. So to then adorn the people who have everything with more adoration/concern - is beyond crazy to me.

So, am I being a grumpy git? (Likely) or do you also think for god sakes get a grip!

It's bewildering to me too. Although I did do the Rock Star screaming but that was when I was an adolescent. I seem to have grown out of it, maybe not everyone does.

No, I don't get it either. Even when I enjoy an author's work or a musician's songs, I don't care about their lives outside of that, so I'm not looking for information and getting invested in that. If I heard an author I liked was very ill, I'd probably have a feeling of 'oh, that's a pity', but honestly, probably because of the presumed effect on their output.

In terms of public figures who I think make a positive contribution, the same, but then again, it's not really about the idea of what they are as people. It would be a pity if JKR got very ill or had something very bad happen to her, but that's because I like having a high-profile woman stand up for women's rights sometimes and I know that this would be accompanied by the gleeful baying of people who hate JKR, so it would be very unpleasant.

Anything more than that, or the general parasocial identification and following of people's actions and doings, I don't get. In terms of celebrities and 'influencers', who cares? Mostly, I think 'why are you even aware of it in the first place?'

In terms of the royal family, there's an added element of the fact that I think the whole institution of monarchy is abhorrent and utterly incompatible with democracy. It makes me sad and angry that it exists, not that someone in it is experiencing personal troubles.

Never understood the Beatles fans who screamed so loudly they couldn't even hear them play, what's the point in that?

I’m with you 100%. I find it completely bizarre.
If I’m honest I also find it really uncaring. Having cancer is awful; if you truly cared about someone surely you wouldn’t debate every aspect of their illness on social media?
I think that’s exactly it though- most people don’t really care, they’re just bored, stupid, and forget that there’s actually a real person behind it all.

YABU. Showing empathy for a young mother diagnosed with a disease isn’t fawning.

Agree even as a grumpy teen I was bemused at people ringing the Take That split helpline.

I think OP means beyond that.

Fawning’s a very loaded word isn’t it?

You're a grumpy git. And if you want to bitch about the Princess of Wales do so openly rather than dressing it up on a thread about something else.

Poor woman, wife, mother and hopefully future Queen, is all I wish to say and I wish her a speedy and successful recovery.

But that's not what the OP is saying. Showing empathy is a different thing from the behaviour of some people.

It's the hysteria and things like this picture that the OP means.

I think some people like to focus on things that are distant to themselves as it’s a distraction from their lives. Maybe they’re bored or stressed but whatever the reason they become hyper focused on something.

I dont get it either the general obsessions and hypes

BUT i did shed a little tear when i saw My Chemical Romance as I couldn’t afford to go at their peaks and it was like a “finally” type moment as opposed to an obsession😅

Poor woman, wife, mother and hopefully future Queen, is all I wish to say and I wish her a speedy and successful recovery.

Surely this is the OP's point though. That all people should wish to say is that they wish her a speedy and successful recovery. That's a normal response.

Interesting you should connect the two. I find any degree of parasocial behaviour fawning. You are giving attention to someone who knows nothing about you.

Omg @ItsNotAPoolBasedHoliday I hadn’t seen that, how absolutely awful.

It’s been medical science that’s got me through so far. Do people who die of cancer simply not love enough? Fuck I hate that toxic positivity shit 🤮

The bit about 'future Queen' describes exactly what the OP means.

Of course most people wish her well as we would anyone. But not any more because she is going to be Queen ffs that doesn't even come in to the equation

Again the connection. Whether the person you speak or someone else, it's bizarre.

If only the same attention was given to those who actually need it, we wouldn't have such inequity.

It is the haves and have nots, made worse by the latter only aiding the former.

To point out the queerness of parasocial behaviour does not equate to not empathising with someone's adversity. But the two are very different in how someone chooses to think and behave as a result of it.

It's obvious who you were referring to, though. You hardly did any work to hide it and would have been better off just coming out with it instead of half-arsing dressing it up.

I don't get some of it...like when princess diana died... it was like mass hysteria..she was a mum etc and it was very sad...poor kids and family...but publicly it was ridiculous... everyone jumping on bandwagon and crying..these people cant even say hello to a vulnerable neighbour but are in a state of mourning for someone they didn't know or meet.
With kate, poor lass...kids, family..but you are getting the people who rush to post before anyone else...its like its a competition.

I also think this.

I do feel very sorry for Katherine. It was sad to see her looking so pale and unwell and can’t imagine all the gossip, speculation and pressure her title brings with it at the moment.

But beyond this I find it strange that total strangers would go to the lengths of sending cards, gifts and reacting as if they know her personally. Same with any well known person.

@clairelouwho

It could have been any person who triggers the outpouring of 'heartfelt responses'. I feel most of it is disingenuous. Similar to the banging on saucepans, there's a toxicity underneath it but if you mention it, then you're the problem.

We have someone who is currently unwell (of course this is sad) but then they also live in a world where they will get everything to ensure their well-being. And then some people will continue to hyper focus on the former.

There's a behaviour that certain people display, they go above and beyond. Why? It's obviously known about as I hadn't realised there was an actual term dedicated to it! Parasocial behaviour.

It's obvious who you were referring to, though. You hardly did any work to hide it and would have been better off just coming out with it instead of half-arsing dressing it up

I don't see what this has to do with the actual debate though. She knows it was obvious.

Weird isn't it?

We only know what the media want us to know, and everything is carefully curated to support that idealised image.

We don't know these people at all

Yes, this only adds to the bemusement of it. That one video was PRed to the extent it loses any authenticity.