Fawning/obsessing over people you don't know

[Sparklybutold]

Why? Just why? I don't need to name names as it's bloody everywhere!

Of course it's sad when ANYONE is unwell or experiences something stressful, but why do strangers become so occupied with it?

Even as a teen I never understood the fan base that pop bands etc would get, sure I enjoyed the music, but would always look on with bemusement at the obsession. When I see people screaming, crying at people, they don't know, I just do not get it.

Especially when these same people are able to access resources the majority of us could only dream of! At the same time, millions of people suffer/die because of the same issue, but are simply born to the 'wrong' family. So to then adorn the people who have everything with more adoration/concern - is beyond crazy to me.

So, am I being a grumpy git? (Likely) or do you also think for god sakes get a grip!

I was like that too all my life until I saw Harry Styles last year.

I found myself watching part of the Eras concert (film) the other day. I am far too old to be a Taylor Swift fan, or follower and think I know only one of the songs. I was so interested in how the show was put together technically and what aspects would only be effective on a movie rather than in person.~
The sheer number of people who were there (in LA I believe) astounded me - and I couldn't help but wonder how she must feel in that setting.

I also was interested to see the costumes - which were mostly lovely.
(Haven't finished watching it yet.)

(Despite the other thread I am on regarding the Princess of Wales, I am not fawning, and never would. Diana is more my generation, and I was sad when she died, but because she was a young mother, who died just as she was finding her feet again. The outpouring of national grief and deification was astonishing.)

Yeah that was a strange one ,I can kind if see how it happened though we were in the middle of lockdown,and you had this sweet old man walking round his very substantial garden to raise money for the NHS ,I think people were bored and got carried away with it all.

@RosesAndHellebores

'They generally have a positive impact'? Really? How?

And the comment about using private - here within lies the issue. The fact that someone is in a position to do this is problematic. And then for people to give such attention... the artwork... the cards... the adoration all over social media and the media.

There is something really wrong with all of this. There has been so many instances where people just go along with what seems good. Without actually engaging in the rot that's beneath it all.

😂 what happened?

Keyboard warriors a lot them.

There was one woman who gave the McCanns a hell of a time online, but IRL, she got found out, was so ashamed, she committed suicide!

www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.express.co.uk/news/uk/169572/Mccann-troll-Brenda-Leyland-driven-to-suicide-after-twitter-death-threats/amp&ved=2ahUKEwi418H7i42FAxV6Q0EAHe6LBl0QFnoECBcQAQ&usg=AOvVaw29CeRFYXjWa0bbmj8Af3z6

I guess she thought she'd never be found out and that there, is the problem! Online forums, SM platforms etc give people the chance to say, without consequence, what they would never say in real life!

Look at half the nasty shit spouted on here at posters, bet my house none of the nasty ones would dare say boo to a goose in their every day life!

*Because it's pointless referencing someone, making it blatantly obvious who it is but then making a vague attempt to dress it up instead of just naming the person.

It's tedious. It's not as if it's some secret is it?*

I don't think it is pointless. For a start threads get pulled at a drop of a hat.

What are your thoughts on the actual situation?

The Smiths? 😉

I'm sorry but what's problematic about having private medical/health care? I pay very high rates of tax and nics for the NHS and I don't use it. If I chose to have private care, that's my absolute right and it means any space I may take up is free for those who don't have the choice.

I think you need to take off your green tinted spectacles, grasp the chip on your shoulder and bludgeon whatever makes your eyes so green with it.

Finally, despite your supposedly complex sociological arguments, it's "there have been so many incidents" not "there has been". You are perhaps not as clever as you are trying to convey.

How did you guess 🤣

I saw him once outside the ritz in Manchester about 30 years ago at about 2am he ignored us ignorant twat🤣
I still love his music though.

I find it odd too, people seem to want to be a part of any drama . We're going through hell at the moment (baby seriously unwell in Great Ormond Street) my neighbour, who I only ever really say a polite hello to or have a chat about the weather , has tried to insert herself into our lives, asking for constant updates, offering to explain to others why I haven't been at home much. She seems to revel in our pain and worry.

I think that there are different types of people who are prone to this type of behaviour.

Firstly those who find it much easier to form an emotional bond with someone they don’t actually know. They can put that person on a pedestal, view them as perfect, not have to acknowledge that all humans are imperfect and deal with the difficulties of real relationships. They project their own emotional needs towards that person. And it’s a type of escapism from their own often difficult lives. They same type of person can also focus really negative feelings towards other individuals (or groups of people) which is a much more dangerous behaviour. You only have to look at some people taking sides with Kate & William or Meghan & Harry. At a mild level it’s pretty harmless, but it can be pretty dangerous when it becomes extreme, for example as stalkers.

Another type is people who get sucked into a news event and become a bit brain-washed by group behaviour. We are generally pretty social creatures and if we see others behaving in a certain way we start to mirror that behaviour because we want to feel that we belong. You can see this on certain threads on MN where everyone joins in saying the exact same things, it’s particularly prevalent on some of the awful troll threads about seriously ill children. This was also behind a lot of the public hysteria surround Princess Diana’s death.
Conversely other personality types like to always take an oppositional stance and disagree with the group behaviour, they enjoy being disagreeable.

I suspect social media makes both sets of people worse.

@RosesAndHellebores

We live in a world where some people can access private medical care, however the point here is the added layer of strangers that are going above and beyond. Why?

Some of them because they have been utter bitches about her in the last four weeks.

I can't speak for why others do stuff but am glad I never clapped on my doorstep for the NHS, went to Buck House when Diana died, or worshipped Captain Tom.

I don't even know who Harry Stiles is. Probably some mildly relevant pop singer or footballer! I have interests rather than obsessions.

God I deeply hated the claps. As an ex medic, I found it empty and pointless. And now... the nhs is on its knees (although it has been for years).

Perhaps it’s a type of escapism from the boredom of everyday life.

It’s also a bit voyeuristic, like watching a horror film or thriller. People can spend a couple of hours immersing themselves in a wealth of emotions and then move on without a backward glance to something else, thankful it’s not happening to them. Cathartic if you like.

It wasn't the clapping as such, most on our street did this. It was the censuring of people who didn't do it, didn't conform with the government dictat to clap. To be honest, seeing Boris do it should have been enough to make people stop and think, you would have thought?

It is the demand of social media that dictates what fawners will do next. I'm sorry for the term, I can't think of another one and 'over-invested members of the public' just isn't very snappy. The fawners take over and in the fact of anybody saying anything that isn't the party line, will declare that they are uncaring. It's become an epidemic, an insidious one that is doing serious damage.

Diana died in 97, social media hadn't really taken off by then, not to this degree, imagine the scene had that happened in current day?

I think that people like heroes, particularly ones that don't do anything very noteworthy. Social media says we must notice them and we do. Some take it too far and slavishly worship them as if they are some sort of idol. That's taking it beyond what is tolerable for those of us who don't. Hero worship is frightening to witness in current time as it's so intense. It's almost as if the worshipper believes that their devotion will cause the starry-dust to rub off on them.

There are no idols but there are everyday 'heroes' out there and nobody gets to know about them, but they quietly do their thing, new ones every day. Unheralded except by their families and friends. Good luck and thanks to all of them.

I think you have a good point there, SomethingUniqueThisTime, it's as if there's a great crashing of stardom... and then nothing. The public has moved on to the next great thing to worship.

It’s very odd, aye. Of course it’s sad, but the people posting as if they know her personally makes me cringe. People idolising the royals in general is pathetic in my opinion, ridiculous that we still have them in what’s meant to be modern times!

I blame the internet.

It's not enough for some people to simply wish someone well.

Since they've got a keyboard to hide behind, they can pretend they're full on 'sobbing', 'howling', 'in floods' etc.

Bonus points for trying to out-sob and out-howl other posters.

I’m just reading a review (Caledonian Road by Andrew O’Hagan if anyone’s interested) in the Times and the reviewer describes the liberal protagonist thus: “blind to his prejudices and imagines his good taste automatically makes him a morally superior person”.

Yes. It's often just performative empathy.

But I guess it might also be a way of playing through emotions that had been suppressed at the time.

I remember crying when Kate's hyperemesis was in the papers. And being shocked as I have never been one to get emotional about strangers. Then I realised that the tears were really for me and all the trauma I had been through with own own hyperemesis (physical trauma, isolation, incorrect medical care, judgement from people who thought it was the same as normal morning sickness). So maybe sometimes it's also a way for people to project their own pain and fears.

It's not 'superior' to just not behave like an incoherent nut about people you don't know, HeddaGarbled. Can we not just have a difference of opinion without you leaping to 'superior' as an insult?

It's not 'good taste' to not scream and cry about celebrities, it is normal behaviour, or should be.

Akin to watching a movie? Interesting viewpoint.