A wedding question

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Hi,

Partner of 9 years has finally (😂) started to make some noises about us getting married. He has floated the idea of a beach wedding in somewhere abroad (initial idea is Santorini) with just nearest and dearest (parents and bridesmaids etc) and our children there, followed by a party back home to celebrate where we can invite wider family and friends. He seems to think this would work out cheaper than a UK wedding. What are people's thoughts on the financial aspect of abroad versus home, and also just general pros and cons of each I might not have considered?

Thank you!

Lots of time for them to save, yes. But why should they spend all that time and money saving up for your wedding?

A relative tried this one on my niece, who was strapped for cash at the time. Yes, she could have spent two years saving up for his (stupidly expensive) wedding, but there were things she herself needed that money for.

Just do a register office thing here, go to Santorini on honeymoon, then have a knees-up with your friends when you get back.

Hi. Congratulations. We did it. Went abroad then had a party on return. Everything included it cost around half of what a wedding here would cost (large families on both sides) we went abroad (was legally wed) and had 22 friend and family members attend. We then had a reception for 200 guests on our return at a local small castle. We work at the same place so 50 of our guests were long time colleagues and partners which explains the larger numbers. Reception on return had a welcome drink for all, hot buffet, singer (family member) and a DJ. We cut the cake at this too. There was no hire fee as it was late autumn so it cost around £16 per head plus whatever the DJ cost. Good luck 😊

Have you looked at the citizens advice bureau link that's been posted a few times?

Hi OP,

Only read your comments, so no idea what others have said.

I planned my wedding in a year and that felt like loads of time. But I used a wedding venue, so it cost more.

My friend had a BEAUTIFUL UK wedding for £8k by approaching a stunning country pub/hotel that didn't typically do weddings. She had a marquee/yurt thing in their garden and was incredibly creative with decorations/catering. I was floored when she told me the cost, I would have assumed it was a £20+k.

I had another friend get married in Santorini. It was gorgeous! Things I remember (good and bad):

• Flights were pretty shite timings to Santorini.
• It was peak summer, so both expensive and the bride was sweating buckets as she walked down the (outdoor) aisle - it gets so, so hot. Seems like an obvious comment, but easy to forget how much being too hot makes you/guests uncomfortable.
• Her cost was about £15k but she had about 50 guests.
• There are great wedding planners in Santorini that are usually attached to the venue. Yes it's a cost, but they are worth it apparently.
• The bit of Santorini everyone thinks of (white/hillside/blue roofs) is horrifically/can't move busy in summer school holidays so strongly advise against doing it then.

But I had a lovely time!

Happy planning!

Yeah I think it’s pretty similar to Cyprus, where we got married - you get some paperwork signed by a solicitor before you go, and visit the local town hall when you arrive for them to check it. It’s a bit similar to what you do before you register your wedding ahead of getting married in the UK.

We used an independent wedding planner purely for the legal side to make sure it was all sorted (and because I couldn’t be bothered!) and she arranged the town hall meeting etc but I’m pretty sure you can do it yourself if you wanted to, it wasn’t particularly complicated.

Info here if it’s useful https://www.gov.uk/marriage-abroad/y/greece/uk/opposite_sex

It’s really not that hard to get legally married in Greece, and if (like me) you just can’t be bothered with sorting the paperwork there are tonnes of independent wedding planners who will pretty much sort it all for you.

https://www.gov.uk/marriage-abroad/y/greece/uk/opposite_sex

Protection from what? Shes already said they don't have assets

I can't believe you'd waste money on hiring a village hall. How flashy and wasteful. 💸💸💸

I got married round the back of Tesco with a mangy fox officiating then we all scavenged through the bins for food afterwards.

Wtf why is that ridiculous? Its 3 years not 30. Not everyone wants things instantly.

I hadn’t even met DH 2 years before our wedding !
We met and were married within 8 months , had a church wedding and a reception at the pub in the same village ( no favours or chair coverings )

The bottom line is no one cares about your wedding as much as you. Asking people to travel far for a period of time is an expensive inconvenience and as long as you recognise that then it’s fine and plan accordingly.

I also think the ‘party at home’ is self indication when you’ve had the wedding elsewhere. Either have a wedding or don’t.

WTF? So a bride and groom must now arrange their plans around another persons holiday wants?
I've heard everything now.

OP I don't know much about abroad weddings, but I assume one of the main benefits is that it's mostly packaged up so you have less organisation to do so I would see no reason why you couldn't get married abroad next year rather than waiting for so long. It will be easier to for people to attend if it's next year as no one really knows what they are going to be up to in August 2027.

Absolutely take your time wedding planning and let your DP do the proposal in his way, but please get wills sorted out this week you never know what might happen.

• can't believe you'd waste money on hiring a village hall. How flashy and wasteful. 💸💸💸

I got married round the back of Tesco with a mangy fox officiating then we all scavenged through the bins for food afterwards.*

😂😂😂😂

@CrappySack

That's made my evening 😂

So my sister is getting married abroad next year (Majorca) and some of the family have been grumbling about the cost already but I actually think it’s more the inconvenience of taking time off work, allowing at least 3/4 days away minimum, arranging pet care, trying to work out where they can stay near the venue/how much taxis might cost. I think there is also the assumption that because everyone can afford it, there won’t be any problem paying a few grand to attend but most people would prefer to put that money towards other things. None of which will stop them going but even though they’ve all been happy and supportive to my Dsis to her face there is an undercurrent of resentment from a couple of family members.

One thing to mention is that I’m not sure how much is being paid for the venue (but supposedly cheaper than the uk) but now it’s all booked and mostly paid for my sister has had some outrageous quotes for some of the other wedding bookings - the most notable being over £20k photographer and videographer for the day.

At the end of the day you can get married wherever you want but if it’s abroad and an expensive area like Santorini you need to be prepared for people to not attend. You may also find that the family will all agree to go as it’s three years away and suddenly panic when it’s only 12 months away and realise how sodding expensive it is.

@daliesque Calm your jets. It was only because OP had said if her sister couldn't go that would be a dealbreaker. So her sister is fundamental to her plans and if she's set on a wedding abroad it might be good to get input early.

I've been flamed for saying this in the past, but I can't understand this. You're discussing wedding plans. By definition, one of you has already proposed marriage. Him getting down on one knee and pretending to ask you to marry him when you've already discussed it with each other is insane. It's like kids playing pretend.

Honestly, if you want a wedding abroad just elope, have a little holiday, and then have a party when you get back. Why pass on the cost to your family? It isn't fair to your sister to presure her into taking time off work, buying new holiday stuff, passports, paying for a hotel, flights, food and entertainment for the kids, just so you can save money. It's a total dick move especially when you claim you won't do it if she doesn't come. You are basically telling her she would be ruining your wedding if she can't save every penny she makes just so she can attend.

What's wrong with a "minimal registrar office" wedding. Don't sneer at them they can be very romantic

It doesn't take 2 years to plan a wedding, even a fancy one

Depends on the country.
We got married in Cyprus without doing another one here. We had to go to solicitors here before to get something signed.
Spain and France is def not recognised here. You have to do register office here as well

It's not all about material assets, although everyone has assets of some kind even if they don't amount to much. You should read the links posted on the legal position of people who live as 'married' but don't have any status in the eyes of the law.

No they don't. Having belongings is not the same as having assets. Getting married isn't all about women protecting themselves, the man would be as equally protected.

Well of course the man would be equally protected, we're talking about people who love each other wanting what's best for each other surely? and disposal of belongings, however trivial, can be very traumatic when there's no clarity.

But I'm not thinking of what happens to the other half's pension in the case of a break up, I'm thinking of worst case scenario type stuff. In the OP's situation her DP is not on good terms with his parents, but should something catastrophic happen and he ended up on life support, or let's not say the OP here but any random couple, I'd think it's important for the people who are loved the most to have a clear legal position. At the very least a formal Will and LPA.

Protection in the eyes of the law isn't only about when couples split up.